Wilkinson Sword - Quattro Titanium

14 November 2007 by Silky

It seems that Wilkinson Sword have decided to throw subtlety out of the window.

I say this because previously in razor adverts there was only ever the implication that a close shave would make your more attractive to women. This was usually achieved by a shot of a man (with a cleanly shaven face) and an attractive women stroking it (the face).

Sometimes, they would ramp things up a little with a saucy tag line: “The Best a Man Can Get”. Missus! But that was as far as things went.

Wilkinson Sword, however, decided that Neanderthal man wouldn’t understand the implied connection between shaving and sex. So they came up with the (terribly dubbed) “How was it for you?” campaign. Which, whilst I’m on it, couldn’t have been written by a man for simply reason that since the dawn of time (and the birth of the previously mentioned Neanderthal man) no man has ever uttered the words “How was it to you?” to another man.

At the very least, it hasn’t been uttered by a man who would be overly bothered whether a woman found him attractive. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but make your mind up Wilkinson Sword; are you going for the Homo- or Hetero- market?

Anyway, what with there being more heterosexual men needing to shave then there are homosexual men needing to shave, it appears that Wilkinson Sword have decided to definitely target the former group.

We know this because at the very start of the new advert there’s a mixed-sex couple having a bit of a sexy romp. This is accompanied by the line “Let’s try something new”. Very kinky.

Sadly, it turns out that the “something new” was to “make yourself look like an Eastern European sex offender”. And this presumably means that the only sex you’ll be getting is in the showers whilst staying at Her Majesty’s Pleasure. Again, blurring the line between straight and gay.

I can’t decide if it’s very clever multi-orientation marketing or steaming great mess of an advert.

Either way, I’ve been asked by the authorities to ask you that if you should see any of the following men, please report them immediately to your nearest Police Station.

Thank you for your co-operation with this.

Judge for yourself.

9Responses:

Mike Empuria

November 15th, 2007 7:22 am

“Design your own look,” it says at the end of the advert. “Twattify yourself,” it should say.

I bet these guys know Mickey.
Testoni

November 15th, 2007 10:30 am

Run for the hills! It’s the notorious Sharp-Shaving Quintuplet Brothers, out for revenge on the public after their idea for a five-way identity-confusion-based sitcom was rejected by ITV4.

You could achieve a similar effect to those in the pictures by replacing your jaw bone with a powerful electromagnet and sprinkling your face liberally with iron filings. Then you could sculpt a new metrosexual style each day to suit your whim without all that fiddly shaving. Before bed, switch off the power and wipe clean.

Who needs testosterone?
Sarah Ryan

November 15th, 2007 4:41 pm

What I’d like to add is that I think this is an awful ad. If I he was on a promise with me, he could forget it! The facial hair looks stick on too. It’s horrible.
steve

December 11th, 2007 1:50 am

chist!! it looks like some freaky freddie mercury lookalike competition.
that’s another product i’ll be avoiding solely due to a god awful ad.

do ad execs really think we’re all cunts? i believe they do!
Muster

January 9th, 2008 11:07 am

Has there ever been a good shaving advert: I think you could make this a sub-catagory all of it’s self. They don’t even go for a decent visuable and auditory similary now-a-days. I remeber the old days, when a certain wet shaver company had a skier slicing down winter slopes, a sharp swish of ski on snow….. Ah, the good old days! God, they got me!!!!!!!
Soapy

January 9th, 2008 12:55 pm

Muster I remember that one, they were indeed the good old days. Unfortunately they seem to be reliant these days on giving us constant close ups of the shaven chin just to hammer the point home.
Dave

February 5th, 2008 7:52 pm

Shaving ads get on my wick they are the male equivalent of sanitary towel ads, none of the models featured have any stubble on their faces, they probably have had their facial hair removed by electrolysis, there’s no friction burns, no cuts and no little hairs on the razor or in the foam. In other words no relation to the realities of shaving for the average bloke at all.
Jellyfish McSaveloy

February 5th, 2008 8:24 pm

Is it just me or does he look gayer than Graham Norton in a pink suit with a dozen monkeys on laughing gas?

No, wait a minute, I know what he looks like: A cunt.
Pete The Pedant

March 31st, 2008 10:03 pm

I wish it was possible to shave like they do on these ads. One giant stroke from ear to chin in 0.2 seconds. Get them to try that with a real blade on a 2 day growth. Maybe throw in a couple of bulging plooks* too . Now that’s something I’d pay to see these smug gits go through!

Plook, n, a colloqial Scottish expression for a spot, or zit.