Trident - Mastication Campaigners

25 May 2007 by Silky

Trident are back from the shame of having their last set of tv adverts pulled off the air due to, what some people thought was, racism.

And unless they’re selling bomber jackets, hob-nail boots, hair clippers, string vests, sovereign rings, and jeans with turn ups, being accused of racism goes down pretty badly with a company. So Trident had to have a rethink…

And who would have thunk it, the new adverts are actually slightly less ball-breakingly bad. But they insist on using that God-awful slogan still.

“Mastication for the Nation!”

Arrrggghhh, help me Lord! Anyone who finds the use of the word “mastication” even in the slightest bit funny should clearly be sat on a wall shooting crows whilst wearing a t-shirt saying “I Shot JR”.

I mean, come on, it’s so unbelievably puerile it’s untrue (of course writing a blog about TV’s Worst Adverts isn’t puerile in the slightest…).

Now I’ll hold my hands up here and admit that when I tried to get my “Wank for World Peace” day off the ground, I kind of liked the shock element of the word “wank”. But it had a more serious overtone, namely World Peace. Apparently though very few World Leaders were prepared to admit to visiting a 5 digit disco so I hit rocky ground. Shame.

Hmm, I wonder if Trident also know that “chew” sounds like “poo”? Or that “gum” rhymes with “bum”?

In fact I’m off down to Tesco with my loud hailer, chain my self to the Postman Pat kiddies ride and shout “Have you got any of that Trident poo-ing bum I want to masticate with it” at everyone who walks past.

I’ll let you know how I get on.

Judge for Yourself.

T’Internet’s Worst Adverts

Oh, by the way, Trident’s Web site isn’t any better than their ads. It’s been Brantano‘d. I wonder how many in the advertising department have watched Look Around You recently?

Just How Bad is this Ad?

12 Votes

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4Responses:

Mike Empuria

Said on the 25 May 2007

So you’re getting bored with the puerile use of “Mastication” are you? What about the Organics shampoo people thinking that the use of Organics = orgasm is clever?
Silky

Said on the 26 May 2007

Muchos Gracias for that Mike and Yes, Yes, Yes!

That’s very much in the same vein. I grant you, it was funny the first few times you watched When Harry Met Sally but No, No, No, Organics!
Richard

Said on the 28 May 2007

What a great marketing department, first the racial stereotype adverts and now going with the ‘revolution’ theme. I know this is a blog for TV ads but if anyone saw the ASK.com ‘information revolution’ (especially via t’internet) campaign then you’ll have an idea of what Trident are trying are trying to do here; ‘Lets use the theme of revolution ‘coz its cool with the yoof market’. I definately agree with the comment from the first ad, they thought up a word that rhymed with a rude word and have run with it ‘Mastification for the Nation’. I’d just love to know what the marketing team responsible say at board meetings to justify this shambles.
soxer123

Said on the 14 September 2007

This crap is bubble gum (literally) and therefore aimed at snot faced kids.

Mastication sounds like masturbation (geddit) and so in playgrounds all over the land the little bastards can chant masturbation for the nation What a riot…