Think! Don’t Drink and Drive - The Barman
17 June 2008 by SilkyWe meet our hero Silky Shitbiscuit enjoying a chat in the pub with Bertie Cobblers:
“…and that, dear Bertie, is how the badger ended up in my bed. All perfectly innocent, so no need to ever mention that again. It’s my round isn’t it? Same again.”
“Yes, sir?”
“I’ll have a pint of lager and an orange juice, please.”
“Sir, hello do you mind stepping out of the car and doing a breath test?”
“What’s that? I’m not in my car. I’m stood right in front of you?”
“Look, you had 2 pints, you’re over the limit - that’s a 12 month ban and a criminal record.”
“No, no, no. The pint’s for Bertie Cobblers. I’m driving, so orange juice, please barkeep.”
“Hey, it’s company policy I’ve got to let you go.”
“Let me go? I don’t follow. Let’s just call it 2 orange juices?”
“I know there’s only 20,000 on the clock but that’s my final offer.”
“No, you’ve lost me again. Have you been drinking on the job? Because you might get fired for that.”
“Well, that’s just great man. No licence. No job. Now what?”
“Whoa, whoa, whao! No need to get upset - I said might get fired. Why don’t you get me those orange juices and you might feel better about yourself?”
“So what’s it going to be?”
“2 orange juices! I’ve told you a dozen times! You’re possibly the worst barman I’ve ever met.”
Of course, none of that really happened. I wouldn’t be caught dead drinking orange juice.
No, what I mean to say is that with the new Think! Don’t Drink and Drive campaign it seems that we’ve all become such a bunch of selfish, drug taking (in a socially acceptable way, of course) manslaughtering cunts that we can’t possibly understand why drink driving might be bad beyond the fact that:
If you drink drive you might get caught and some things which are in no way as bad a losing your life might happen to you.
At least, that’s the message I’m getting anyway.
It seems to me that this advert is the equivalent of warning you against rape by saying:
Be careful, you might catch crabs of your victim!
In the past the Think! Don’t Drink and Drive campaign has given us some pretty shocking and memorable ads - most of which end up with someone dying at the end. Sadly by the end of this advert I’m actually hoping it’s the rat-faced and exceedingly judgemental barman who’s killed.
In fact, I’d planned to kill him myself. Yeah, I’d ironically run him down in my car even though I’d not had a drop to drink before hand - after all, I don’t want to miss.
I changed my mind against committing this heinous crime though because I was worried the brain juice that slops from his skull as I crush it like a grape might damage my paint work.
Oh yeah, and something about murder being wrong or something…
Seriously though kids, don’t drink and drive - you might lose your job.
Amazingly this advert isn’t available on YouTube (read: I can’t find it) so Judge for yourself
Just How Bad is this Ad?
10 Votes
Loading ...
14Responses:
Mike Empuria
June 17th, 2008 2:47 pm
I don’t think this is a bad ad, in fact it’s a very good ad but you’re right, there’s a definite shift away from the harm you could do to others. Are we really that selfish these days? We must be if they think that these ads will make an impact. So sad.
sparx104
June 17th, 2008 4:01 pm
Having actually managed to drive once whilst very drunk (all of about 300yards) the experience was so terrifying I will never ever try it again. Perhaps they should just show that. It was summed up by the comment “how can I go straight when the damned trees keep wandering across the road?”
I always thought the ads which just showed the aftermath were pretty effective. Perhaps show something to new drivers as part of the test?
Jonny Chestwig
June 17th, 2008 4:46 pm
I’ve previously struggled to get too worked up about these nannying adverts, but I massively object to the confrontational tone of this advert that suggest that I PERSONALLY need to be told not to drink and drive. It’s the way he looks into my eyes and smugly sneers “What’ll it be?”
I hate that everest advert for a similar reason, it’s the bit at the end where the twee Irishman wot used to be off of Countryfile confronts me with “Be honest, you were’nt expecting them to do THAT, were you?” No, I was making no assumptions whatsoever because it’s a boring double glazing ad you twunt!
It’s here btw:
http://www.visit4info.com/advert/Everest-Upgrading-the-Tan-Hill-Pub-Everest-Double-Glazing/59150
Mr A Reaper Esq
June 18th, 2008 1:05 pm
Drink and drive sir why not so that we can have you killed and your fucking family too you useless cunt…come on humans drink as much as you wont them go for a nice swim so that you can fucking drown you cunts…..message to silky change this you knob jockey….
Brian Butterfield
June 23rd, 2008 12:48 pm
thing is, people are too self-centred nowadays, and this advert targets these people perfectly. Superb advert, and the barman is brilliant.
Jonny Chestwig
June 23rd, 2008 4:07 pm
If I was the manager of that pub I would sack the barman immediately, he must be terrible for sales.
Joanna Butler
June 24th, 2008 12:38 pm
i hate this advert, the barman sounds like Steptoe when he talks……..
R E Krishna
June 26th, 2008 1:01 pm
OK driving while your judgement is impaired through alcohol (any amount) could easily result in injury, death, or merely loss of licence etc if caught. I understand that - don’t know anyone who doesn’t. Previous anti drink-driving adverts have suggested that walking to my car past an open wine bottle will turn me into a mass-murdering bastard. Now I learn that two pints is over the limit. Good I can now drive safely if I keep to one pint of Special Brew or Jack Daniels. Another advert which misses the mark. If you want more people to take notice get real!!
Mr A Reaper Esq
July 8th, 2008 1:10 pm
R.E i do like your commentary on this particular advertisment however…you bastard are you trying to do me out of a job…bugger off i wont you stupid humans to drink loads and loads then go and have a nice drive though the busy high street just after the schools let the little kiddies out….then way hay its party time for me baby the scythe wont know whats hit it…..the more you gullible humans consume the better it is for me….how many more times do i have to tell you all that the end will come to you one way or another….so lets make it a good one when you go….get shit faced steal a car preferably a police car the new volvo 347 has a good turn of speed and drive the fucker head first through currys window taking out at least half the staff or failing that head down to bournemouth on a saturday afternoon and drive along the beach…..this has been brought to you by doagranny.com……see you all real soon……..
Crimewave
July 8th, 2008 7:21 pm
Mr Reaper have you read Thief of Time?
Mike Empuria
July 8th, 2008 11:48 pm
Tick
Alex
July 25th, 2008 12:51 pm
“I changed my mind against committing this heinous crime though because I was worried the brain juice that slops from his skull as I crush it like a grape might damage my paint work.”
I’ve just sprayed tea all over my desk after reading this, this article is dead on. I googled the advert with a few choice words to see if anyone else felt the same as me, I’m glad it’s not just me who hates it with a passion.
Alex.
Rippie
July 26th, 2008 9:43 am
Something which you clearly fail to appreciate is that anti-drink driving campaigns of this nature (ie: focussing more extensively upon consequences to the offender, the most liable of which was loss of lisence) actually used to be pretty common. It was only around the mid-80s, with the “Drinking and Driving Wrecks Lives” campaign that the trend for d&d PIFs of a more shocking and brutal nature really originated and became the norm. I’m not saying that either campaign is necessary more effective than the other, but seriously, if you’re going complain about this particular ad being symptomatic of the failing moral standards of our time, then I think that the least you could do is attempt to put this ad into a slightly wider context. Clearly, we’re no worse now in that regard than we were twenty-five years or so ago.
Mr A Reaper Esq
August 30th, 2008 2:29 pm
Rippie your comments are somewhat behind the times like 25 years behind..you must realise that the human race is in dire need of de-population so the more you morons drink and drive the better it is for the next generation…who actually cares is some knob jockey pops down his local then when he’s tottally shit faced gets in his robin reliant and mows down a few kiddies or old age pensioners ( i dont mind keeps me in work) most of the so called celebs are recovering wino’s…look at the twat from that 4th rate group pete douherty he will soon be feeling the sharp end of my sycthe (see you real soon pete) but i digress let the knobs who want to drink and drive do so and then as i have written before its more work for me when they plough into a bus stop full of wheel chair bound dribberling coffin dodgers..the human race does not have long to live so make the most of it while you can….so when you read this message pop out and have a skinful on me boys and girls….then why not pop into your local gun retailer and purchase a shiny new rifle then while your driving along mowing folk down you can shoot the twats on the other side of the road…..isnt life great….well have a nice day and see you all real soon…this has been brought to you by getpissed.com……
Got Something to Add?