The Skills Centre – Tony? | TV's Worst Adverts

Helsie

Said on the 23 October 2008

Smug gurning idiots. What a pity that Tony hadn’t got the skills with a spanner to smash red-jumper man’s new van up…..tossers.

I hate all these conversational type adverts. Don’t get me started on a couple of corkers on the radio at the moment……grrrrr!

Silky

Said on the 23 October 2008

Yeah, Helsie, if only Tony weren’t such a loser….

Something I missed before by now particularly like the way Tony implies that since he went to the Skill Centre he’s been getting more sex of his now pregnant missus.

Magical what those certificates can do for you.

retired

Said on the 3 November 2008

Skills centre,what a load of old cobblers!There aint no way i would employed somebody from a place like this.to be skilled you must have done an apprenticeship.get knotted you smug twit.

roy

Said on the 24 November 2008

Its actually “earning and learning” Im sure they thought that was an amazing tagline, probably thought up by the owners not the advert makers.

Another great thing about it is the terrible dubbing, its blatently not those guys voices. Perhaps they were too rough, the voices are like some sort of 20 year old optimistic gimp.

Im sure the skills centre offers up totally not recognisable qualifications for money.

You have to earn and learn to pay for the terrible certificate i guess

Jam

Said on the 1 December 2008

Hang… aren’t the two men being dubbed by the SAME PERSON, speaking slightly higher or lower?

Is anyone else catching this?

John

Said on the 4 December 2008

I have just seen this advert again, and felt the need to do something about it. So I have gone to all the effort of turning on my computer, discovering this site and writing a comment, just so I can get the hate off my chest…

This advert is AWFUL – horrible script, horrible dubbing, horrible horrible horrible. Please please let this get to the No 1 spot!!!

I mean who names their own company ‘Gary Electrics’ anyway (as seen on the side of his “nice wheels!”) Nice wheels, really….are you sure – it’s a black van. The only cool black van there has ever been and ever will be belonged to the A-Team, not Gary who did an electrics course at the skills centre. AAAAGGGHHH!!

Ok, think I’m better now. Thanks.

Danny

Said on the 12 December 2008

The thing I really relate to is the point / wave of the hand at his mate as he drives off!! I don’t know about anyone else but i do this all the time and my mates think i’m awesome for doing it!

Daniel

Said on the 13 December 2008

They ought to make a new one set in a public toilet. Gary meets Tony standing at a urinal.
“Must be 3 years since we scrubbed toilets together…”
Gary then goes on to tell of his Skills Centre certificate in toilet maintenance…
Gary lets one off…
“Doing a piss AND farting at the same time?!?!”

Nick

Said on the 16 December 2008

Do these comedians really think by watching an advert which probably cost 8 pence to make will make anyone want to train with them.
I also found a site you can also find them on Google “the skills centre on the ferret”

Happy viewing……………..Bunch of cowboys

Sy

Said on the 16 December 2008

Note from Silky: After the great Gadget Helpline fiasco earlier this year, I’ve edited this comment to remove comments about the Skills Centre. Sorry.

As for the advert, Gary needs more rigidity in his point while he’s fucking off in his “nice wheels” with his Mrs beside him, who I might add, would pay to screw. I don’t know why but I’ve got a thing about pregnant women these days. Must be the mothering tits.

All The Skills Centre is is a sales company. <Content Edited By Silky>. Type in IT Skills digital trends on Google.(IT skills is one of their old products). Makes for some fucking good reading……

Nick

Said on the 16 December 2008

Nice post by Sy, slightly rude however amusing, By the way i did check out The Skills Centre on Digital Trends under The title forum. Naughty boys eh ?

Daniel

Said on the 20 December 2008

The thing i find amusing is the fact that Gary feels the need to write “Skills Centre” down on a card to give to tony. does he really feel its necessary to write 2 words down on a card so “Tony” won’t forget…

Daniel

Said on the 20 December 2008

Another thing I have noticed is that Tony seems really awkward, embarrassed, or afraid of Gary… like Gary’s gonna kill him if he says the wrong word or something! Also, you’d have thought Tony’s “friend” Gary could have told him about his “earning and learning” at the time. Tony must feel really betrayed. Cheeky bastard…

j

Said on the 10 January 2009

You think gary would of offered him a job while earning and learning

Adam_Ayres1988

Said on the 13 January 2009

This advert is terrible. “how are things……………..(big pause)………………..going?”
The bit that infuriates me more than any other is when he says “there’s plenty of jobs out there” Lying bastard! There aren’t plenty of jobs out there at all, especially if all you’ve got is a pikey certificate from the skills centre, might as well turn up with chicken soup, it’s just as useless, but it’s got chicken.

Andy

Said on the 19 January 2009

Just had to post about this advert, the dubbing is horrendous! I am tempted to earn and learn though, as most companies have absolutely no scope for you to learn, oh wait, most companies actually do let you learn.

Simon Breadbin

Said on the 21 January 2009

I bumped into a mate the other day while I was out shopping for unspecified goods, it must be three months since I posted on this site. ‘I’m top of the list now’ I told him ‘Even higher than Picture Loans’.
‘You’re lucky’ he grimaced.
‘Not really, just miles better than you, you sad sack of shit’ I quipped, and I handed him a business card with his name written on it and an arrow pointing to a big spunking cock.
Yeah, no fucking way was I telling him how I got my van and beard. The cunt.

Mike

Said on the 25 January 2009

What a fucking joke The Skills Centre are. They’re just a sales company who have no interest in whether you pass your course or not. You leave your details with them and they get back to you and you get “pitched” by someone who hasn’t got a fucking clue about the course. They then say they’ll send their “course advisor” (salesman) to come out and see you (I’ve had one out to see me, interesting to say the least). When he comes out to see you he’ll use negative emotion on you to make you feel like your life is an absolute waste of fucking time and how this will change your life. They’ll then ask to do a credit check on you and if you’re stupid enough to fall for it, you’ll be tied to a credit agreement for a course that you won’t even be able to get a fucking job with afterwards.

I really don’t see how you can become an electrician or plumber without working alongside someone in the trade. Training companies like MET UK and Building Trades Training offer work placement with the training and it’ll cost you a grand and a half less. If you speak to them, they actually know what they’re talking about and they use a 45 minute test to determine whether you’re up to it or not.

Sy has got a point though, I’d love to go through Gary’s missus!

dave

Said on the 27 January 2009

wow, I saw the skills centre ad and thought it was great! Apart from the absolute shit actors and script, here was my way of finding something new to do after spending two years at home looking after my son. Thank god I looked at all your comments first because I never realised how two years of kids tv programs could damage my common sence so much that I actualy thought it was a good idea. Once again, THANK YOU ALL.

CovertJellyfish

Said on the 27 January 2009

Dave… I’m sorry to say you can’t get a job… your name has two vowels in it….

Gasman

Said on the 29 January 2009

I did a course with this company and find them quite good. They actually subcontract the training to Hybrid Technical Services in Liverpool. The quality of the training is very good and I met several guys who were working and earning good money having completed their courses.

The salesman told me a few things that were not right but overall I would recommend them..

Mike

Said on the 29 January 2009

The gas course may be alright but the electrical course was £50 sort of 7 grand and you don’t even get the C&G 2392 or 2391 inspection & testing with it. £6950 to be classed as an electricians mate, I don’t think so. It was £5250 for the advanced level and you didn’t even get Part P full scope with it. Gasman, why don’t you just admit you’re secretly working for The Skills Centre?

will

Said on the 2 February 2009

this advert is so infuriating but i still cant stop watching it because its so shit. i would even go as far as saying its a great advert. obviously the course its self is complete rubbish. i think you are all looking at in the wrong light. the people marketeres behind it have deliberately done it so that ppl like us talk about it. any publicity is good publicity. so anyone who really dislikes it then dont vote for and or leave a comment. but if you find yourself eagerly anticipating when it will next come on so you piss your pants at how fshit but equally funny it is then vote away. absolute class, beats the guiness advert with the horses any day!!!!!

garfunkel

Said on the 3 February 2009

What can i say its a load of rubbish i mean what???????????? so you do a ponsey course thats no better than a 5 day intensive thing and call yourself a trades man no sorry and that stupid advert ‘look at me im gay my mate got my misses pregnat cause i was to busy in my gay wagon so you should go to the skills centre and rent your ass out too. no its all rubbish i do actually love it its a wonderful production that, to be honest really shows off the new and talented film industry in britian today the makers obviously studied at the skills centre too thats why its so good and as for the script writter well maybe he should become an electrician he might have more luck. To be fair good on any one who wants to re train but they could perhaps have a better advert

Will

Said on the 10 February 2009

thats the funniest thing ive ever seen on the net hahaha

Scotty

Said on the 11 February 2009

My girlfriend was getting seriously close to dumping my ass if spoke about this sack of shit 1 more time. Easily the most offending advert of all time smug little prick who is he to boast about how wonderful his life is & how much money he is making. But the other guy just encourages him who in there right mind would ever say to someone in a works van “Nice wheels”? How ignorant was his wife too just walking away then sticking her ugly little head round the corner as if to say move your fat ass NOW!!
Aaaaagggghhhhh much better!!!!!!

Big Dave

Said on the 18 February 2009

wow im so glad to see all these comments. I was starting to wonder if i had been a kiddy fiddler in a past life and was getting punished by having to endure it alone, because every time i asked someone if they had seen this piece of shit, they looked at me with faces as blank as these three cunts acting CVs.

I dont think i can adequately even begin to muster all the hatred in my heart i have for this advert. What the fuck is the deal with the very first shot of the pregnant wife with the most non-expressive facial expression ive ever seen? Whats up with Tony looking like he was trying to avoid Gary? Did they have some kind of awkward bromance on ‘the site’? Who in their right fucking mind would let someone who looks like a cross between Peter Andre and a decomposing corpse into their homes to fuck up their electrics, quite aside from the fact that his only qualification is a piddling little certificate that says he is now capable of wiring a plug and getting crumbs out of a toaster.

‘Earning and learning, at the same time??’ The complete look of flabbergast on this morons face, who obviously assumes that as soon as you get a job, your brain automatically shuts down.

And how did Gary know that Tony even wanted his stupid fucking advice in the first place? Tony could have been a lottery winner and just liked to visit jobcentres and benefits offices to keep him down to earth.
And Gary has a van, a sparkly certificate and some craig david-esque facial topiary, if my bitch wife poked her head round the corner and implied that i hurry up, she’d get a fucking slap. Cheeky bastard could have ended up with Gary, she doesnt know how lucky she is. I just feel sorry for the baby.

But the most offensive thing in this piece of shit is that they imply that if we dont do their course, we wont get laid, we’ll have to constantly have to run into smug bastards in the street, we’ll never have business cards to write bullshit on, and we’ll never get ‘wheels’ as nice as that.

And the funniest thing is? Some lucky bastard was actually PAID TO MAKE THIS. Now thats a fucking trade id like.

Andy

Said on the 20 February 2009

I’m delighted to find I’m not the only one out there with serious issues concerning Gary and Tony. True, Gary is a smug bastard but fair play to him for even stopping to rub Tonys’ nose in his new found success. If I’d ever had the misfortune to work with someone as fucking witless as Tony and saw the twat passing by as I came out of a shop there is absolutely no way I’d be doing anything other than immediately crossing the road to avoid the pain of conversing with the hopeless fucker. Like Daniel says, if Tony is incapable of remembering two words until he gets home then he’s got no chance.
Sure, being unemployed and finding myself watching this excrutiating advert every day during Star Trek is far from an ideal lifestyle but if the alternative is going to the skillscentre where I might meet someone as fucking stupid as Tony, then that’s all the validation I need for the life I lead.
P.S. Great post Mr Breadbin.

TonyGary

Said on the 27 February 2009

What a bunch of dickbreaths. NICE WHEELS.

cree

Said on the 27 February 2009

You should all lighten up and apreeshate the effert that went into making a very skilful avert.

Len

Said on the 28 February 2009

Has anyone on here actually done the electrical course? I must admit the advert is completely shit, but out of interest I enquired about the course (ordered a brochure), next thing I know Someone is coming to my house to interview me? I almost passed out when he told me it would be £6950, but he did say the qualifications attained for that money would be C & G 2392/2391& the part p full scope…Is this not the case? Was he bullshitting me? And if you do get these quals are they worth having?? Can someone pls help me cos I am interested in retraining. And maybe give me details of a decent centre to train with. I would greatly appreciate any info given.
By the way I agree with you Andy about Mr.Breadbin’s post…..Fucking hilarious!!!

Iain

Said on the 11 March 2009

This advert is so bad I actually love it.

Cree – I do hope your post was in jest.

gorbachov

Said on the 12 March 2009

Im glad im not the only one who noticed how shit this advert is and i love some of the comments left on this site.
Gary is a knob if someone i knew came up to me in the street and started boasting like that i would stick the nut in him.Then i would brick his van the wanker.

Vinnysimmo

Said on the 12 March 2009

The thing that makes me laugh the most about this ad is the fact that mr.Smug actually gives the gorless bloke a peice oof papar with just “the skills center” written on it.
How stupid would you have to be to need a note to remember TWO words?

Archer

Said on the 12 March 2009

Dunno… my husband could do with a note saying ‘not now’ on it.

TonyGary

Said on the 13 March 2009

Also, why is Tony still standing there when Gary is driving away in his stupid van?

EARNING AND LEARNING?

Rich - Benidorm

Said on the 21 March 2009

I wondered why they say in gas and electrical and not train to be an Electrician.

I think you’d be better going to your local college and do the evening courses there in the evenings. You really can train and work. And you’re not paying for the crappy adverts, the salespeople etc.

Trent

Said on the 24 March 2009

Tony and Gary. You can’t deny the sexual tension…

dingus

Said on the 25 March 2009

We were talking about this the other day in the pub, calling them a couple o cunts etc..when one o my mate says that it’s clever that it’s the same guy in a kinda Sliding Doors way, when I explained it was two different people in a patronising Gary way by pointing at his stupidity and laughing he threatened to punch my lights out. Thank you skill centre for that.

Jellyfish McSaveloy

Said on the 25 March 2009

Why is Gary (is that the thickie? I forget – whichever one is the one who looks like he’d struggle to put a pair of skids on the right way round) so amazed that the other one was doing a course whilst working? He acts as if the idea of breathing and moving at the same time had never actually occured to him. The pair of them are so arse-shrivellingly dim-witted that frankly I wouldn’t trust either of them to do any kind of work on my home and neither would I trust the previously unheard of ‘skill centre’. I’ll go and hire a Pole who will actually do the job, on time and in budget like everyone else does. Tony and Gary are more likely to turn up, drink my tea, take a huge shit in my toilet and then fuck off for a month claiming they have the wrong nails for the job. Cunts.

fishbonealic

Said on the 27 March 2009

Oh how i hate this ad, let me count the ways. Putting sub-moronic dialogue in the mouths of a couple of obvious simpletons who you wouldn’t trust to empty your bins; the implication that its audience is equally braindead; the implication that choosing not to do a Skills Centre course means you are one of life’s biggest losers; the incredibly patronising tone, especially towards women…I would love to see the human being who wrote this incredibly condescending, meretricious, insulting, infuriating drivel, so I think I’ll ring the Skills Centre and ask for the address of the remedial school from where they got the author .

Blandford Snook

Said on the 27 March 2009

“I’m no electrician” ….. No fucking actor either!

The wee man

Said on the 28 March 2009

To Bigdave,

honestly mate it’s eleven in the morning and I’ve got a hangover that could wipe out the Parachute regiment but when I read your post mate I nearly pissed myself!!! It was so funny I went to the fridge and opened another beer!!! Thanks mate. Oh by the way, the missus is threatening to divorce me if I have another beer but fuck it I don’t really give a toss now!!!

Cheers mate…..

Count Smithe III

Said on the 29 March 2009

This is simultaneously the most addictive yet disgusting advert I have ever seen. If i’d of been in the area when they were filming this epic tragedy then I would of put and abrupt end to it. I envy Tony’s situation much more, he’s seems much less hittable than Gary. Why do they have the same names as the guys from ‘Men behaving badly’? Why did’t Gary have the courtesy to ask Tony what he was doing now. For all he knew Tony could of been in a better job. If I ever bump into super stud Gary on the street, and he gave me that business card, I’d probs wipe my arse with it. They must of pulled in death, dumb and blind gorillas to script and film what is to me, an hilarious piece of gold, only because its so appaling. I dont think the directors and creators of this advert were actually deliberately going for the ‘shit dubbed advert with less than amatuer actors’ look, the fact of the matter is its bollocks, pure steaming hot bollocks and I relish the next time its on so I can giggle myself into a mild coma.

rooney

Said on the 6 April 2009

tony? how are things? gary same old same old. it must be 3 years since we got wasted on the site together? where did you go? well when i was getting wasted with you i was taking some drugs round the back of the skills centre. taking drugs and getting wasted at the same time? yeah, beer and gear. and the skills centre helped me find a dealer. sounds illegal. it was. taking drugs has ruined my life. now im taking more drugs than i ever thought i could. even the missus is wasted. youre a junky! na once youve got a dealer there are loads of drugs out there,you should give my dealer a call, it could ruin your life. im no smack head. maybe not, the skills centre offer courses in coke, smack, mushrooms and LSD. visit the website, stumble down a back alley or fall down a sewer for more information. get fucked, poisoned or pass out, with THE SKILLS CENTRE! waaaaaaaaaaaaaay
TONY! nice beers. ta mate i caaant seeee noww!!!1111??

Kieron James

Said on the 10 April 2009

I HAVE JUST MADE A VERY FUNNY SPOOF OF THIS DREADFULL ADD!! PLEASE HAVE A LOOK AND RATE IT!!! DO A SEARCH ON SKILL CENTRE ON YOU TUBE! OR JUST CLICK ON MY NAME, I HAVE LINKED IT UP TO GO STRAIGHT TO THE VIDEO ON YOU TUBE!

Penis Pills

Said on the 11 April 2009

We have been selling only the best Male Enhancement Pills from across the globe, and we are here 24/7 to help you and give you practical advice on which of our methods will best suit your needs.

Steve

Said on the 13 April 2009

and why has he got the same jumper on, years later?? you couldn’t make it up! lol

Daniel

Said on the 13 April 2009

My spoof…

“Tony… How are things?”
“Gary… Well same old same old.”
“Must be 3 years since we robbed houses together”
“Where did you go???”
“Well, while i was with you i was doing my narcotics course with the pills centre”
“Being a burglar and selling drugs at the same time???”
“Yep, stealing and dealing… and the pills centre supplied the drugs”
“Sounds easy…”
“Being a dopeman changed my life, now I’m having more sex than i ever thought i could, even the bitch is happy”
“your lucky”
“Nah, once u get a supply there are loads of fiends out there”
“you should give it a try”
“i’m no dealer”
“maybe not but the pills centre offers couses murder, arsen, pimping and dealing… give the pills centre a call, it could ruin your life”
“Nice wheels”
“Tony i’ve got my own skateboard now…”
*Points, skates away*

Daniel

Said on the 13 April 2009

my last post??? WTF????

Sean

Said on the 15 April 2009

Glad I’m not the only one finding this advert to be incredibly tedious. For the realism of the dialogue, they may as well have had two rocking horses having the same conversation in space.

Yup, there’s a good reason why Tony is a failure, and learning joinery isn’t going to change that.

Gaz

Said on the 15 April 2009

The Skills Centre’s registered office is in Wales.

Surely no more needs to be said?

Scotty

Said on the 17 April 2009

Hey guys

need some good honest advice please!

i have taken a course in Plumbing course at their prefessional level
have i been taken for a ride? anyone been on this course at all? are the qualifications worth the paper they are written on?
am wondering about the quality of the course, nothing to do with the awful advert lol

wb please guys
thanks

Silky

Said on the 17 April 2009

Hi Scotty,

Thanks for the comment.

But I think it’s fair to say that this isn’t the right place to find that information.

If you’re genuinely concerned about whether your qualification is worth anything then I suggest you speak to someone from Amicus and they’ll be able to give you some proper advice – rather than “what I heard on a website about adverts” advice

We don’t want another Gadget Helpline on our hands!

Bill Willis

Said on the 20 April 2009

I think unless you are from abroad does this advert apply to you tony probably from warsaw failed to tell his old workmate that he as won the big one on saturday night and goes around posing as a self employed plumber and the tart in his van is only smiling due to wind from a madras the night before whilst celebrating 6 numbers if scotland has its own parliment what do we have a scotsman in charge in england for?? I would rather watch Accrington Stanley play than all the crappy adverts like they put on the telly Tony stop all the BULLSHITTING !!!!

CovertJellyfish

Said on the 20 April 2009

,,.?,,,.,,.,,,,”".,?.,.,?.!,.,,,,.,.,.,.”",.,,,.,.,,,.!,.,.,.,.,,…

Due to technical difficulties, punctuation seems to have disappeared from several posts. I have taken the time to find it all, but can the respective owners please come and collect it, and put it in the correct place. It will make it easier for everyone to ignore what you say. Thanks.

lolololol

Said on the 29 April 2009

tony is such a fucking cock, i mean if i was him and that arse hole gary came up to me lecturing me about the skills centre like i was a fucking primary school kid, i’d get one of his electricians tools and shove them right up his dick hole.

The Boy Of Steel

Said on the 29 April 2009

CovertJellyFish (Two comments up) that is funny.
I didn’t quite catch on at first (i almost thought there was a technical difficulty) but i got it split second after and pissed myself. Not literally, tho.
Look i found more.
,..,.,.”..,.,..,

CovertJellyfish

Said on the 29 April 2009

Thanks, BoS. However if you want to see a comic genius in action have a look around for BigDave’s comments, he is evil and funny…

The Boy Of Steel

Said on the 29 April 2009

Haha yeah i’ve noticed…
I particularly like his recent comment on the Oven Fresh advert…
…’the stupid bitch just can’t take a beating without breaking something.’… Part is hilarious.
Any others make you lol?

JC

Said on the 2 May 2009

Kieron, please send someone round to clean my computer screen – I spat coffee all over it laughing at your youtube

Bigdave

Said on the 5 May 2009

I see this pile of vomit is back in its rightful place in the Top 10.

sarah (not that one)

Said on the 5 May 2009

Whats rong with peopel trying to better themselvse. You should stop moaning dave.

yabadabba

Said on the 7 May 2009

Sarah (not that one) the thick one! went to the skills centre, but failed the how to use a spell checker course. too much earning and not enough learning.

CovertJellyfish

Said on the 7 May 2009

Not one single person on this website would be against anyone trying to better themselves Sarah2, but if you were to do a little research on the internet, you would see that this company has a bad reputation in the opinion of many people. There are far better ways for people to improve their knowledge, without having these two cockmunchers on tv.

sarah

Said on the 7 May 2009

oooh if sarah (not that one) is ‘sarah the thick one’ that must mean that I’m sarah the inteliigent one…….. and I never went to a ‘Skills centre’ either’. (Did go to Uni though, but then so do thick people these days…..)

As for this ad. it’s so risible and unbelievably bad one hardly knows where to start. So I won’t.

I think it’s all been said already anyway, and far more eloquently than I could, and with some rather ripe words here and there as well…….

wouldn't you like to know

Said on the 8 May 2009

hmmmmmmmmm don’t you think its funny that both Nick and Sy usedto work for this company then tried to screw them???? also set up the same type of company using the customers from the skills centre !!!!

Crap advert tho !!

sarah (not that one)

Said on the 8 May 2009

Thanks for deleting my comments you coward.

Kieron James

Said on the 9 May 2009

tony

Said on the 12 May 2009

I am Tony and i wish you would all leve me alone please. I dont want ellectrical appliances stuffed down my dickhole and theres nothing wrong with having a fucking beard ok! If you dont like the fucking advert you know where the bastard mute button is dont you! Yes its a shit advert but at the end of the day ive got shit loads of cash for making a total dick out of myself! What have you lot got ay?

tony

Said on the 12 May 2009

I am Tony and i wish you would all leve me alone please. I dont want electrical appliances stuffed down my dickhole and theres nothing wrong with having a fucking beard ok! If you dont like the fucking advert you know where the bastard mute button is dont you! Yes its a shit advert but at the end of the day ive got shit loads of cash for making a total dick out of myself! What have you lot got ay?

tony

Said on the 12 May 2009

Tony is also a spaz who obviously didnt go to uni, but who gives a fuck? now im doing a course at the skills centre ,so i’ll be fine. No worries man!

gary electricals

Said on the 13 May 2009

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=104701624551&ref=nf
i made a facebook group for Tony. LEGEND

Hugh Jorgasome

Said on the 14 May 2009

Breadbin, you just gave me the best laugh Ive had in months. You should be on stage

RBriliant. shit advert. so shit.

Said on the 14 May 2009

hey, first off silky that post is piss ure pants funny, i love it. there are other hilarious comments on here too. pure class. i have laughed harder in the last 20 minues then i have in the last 2 weeks. b

Hazel

Said on the 17 May 2009

Adverts have a lot to a say about this country. The one thing all of these have in common is that they’re patronising!!!

Ken

Said on the 18 May 2009

Two million unemployed , 1200 applicants for every vacancy.You’ve got to be as ‘Brain dead ‘as the actors to believe this drivel !! But if you must go on a training course , do it at college for a fraction of ‘ RIPcentre’s fees’ and with genuine Qualifications !!!

heather

Said on the 26 May 2009

you will allbe glad to know that the skill centre has gone bust!!!!!

Simon Breadbin

Said on the 26 May 2009

What’s going to happen to Tony? Back to the bookies, chasing the last few quid of his redundancy money, ultimately ending in a in an indecency charge after an undercover sting operation in which a copper disguised as a truck driver, offers Tony fifty quid to suck him off behind the bins at Aldi. Hungover, unshaven, crying and on bail, Tony stands outside Hunstanton police station in the May sunshine, his mind turning to the rope or the razor blade, as Gary drives by in a van specially made out of gold by Ferrari, throwing fistfuls of fifty pound notes out of the window, each one with ‘Skills Centre’ written on one side, and ‘Fuck off Tony, you wank’ on the other.

I’ve literally got a hard on through writing this.

heather

Said on the 26 May 2009

im so horny after reading that.

GARY

Said on the 27 May 2009

poor old tony.. now the skills centre has gone bust he’s well and truly up the shitter. what a loser.

GARY

Said on the 27 May 2009

BTW. I’m breaking up with my ugly missus. I’ve just this second found out she’s been f**king Tony every lunchtime while i’ve been earning and learning. I’m going to rip his organs out with my bare hands.

JTV

Said on the 17 June 2009

“And once your qualified, theres loads of jobs out there”.

Are they taking the P*** or somthing, this advert came out when the recession was getting into full swing. Ive been out of work nearly 8 months now, Half my Giro gets blown on somthing similar to this drivel its called “Home Learning College” Thank god ive only got 2 payments left though.
Fair enough they lie, but to do it purposely to “rub our faces in it” in the middle of a recession is just wrong.

I hope someone gets a torch and burns the place down. Let your S**** trainee monkeys try to rebuild that.

Neil

Said on the 22 June 2009

Have seen 2 comments above saying they’ve gone bust, but can’t find anything on the Net to support that. Anyone got any links? Hope to God it’s true, as long as no one lost out hopefully.

Neil (yes that one)

Said on the 22 June 2009

They hadn’t gone bust as of last week, had one of their scheisters come round my flat, explained to him I was unemployed, their advice was basically that I have absolutely no chance of finding work with it being a recession but I would need to get a job to pay for their training …so just GET A JOB (even though you pretty much can’t)

Yeah thanks…. for nowt

Nick

Said on the 23 June 2009

I have looked on companies house website and they have set up another name under same address called NEPTUNE SKILLS.

The plot thickens

JTV

Said on the 23 June 2009

How are these fraudulent companies allowed to get away with this?Its bad enough that they are allowed to hire two rent-boys to do a hillariously stupid advert.
But being able to function, and then function again legaly under another name, when the gaff is up is beyond me.

JTV

Said on the 24 June 2009

“neptune skills” sounds like to be the next front name for their illegal rent-boy pimping services.

Incorporated 09/04/09 Thats 9th april 2009.

Still ofering courses in Rimming, Doging and fisting. of course.

And when you are qualified they will even allocate a pimp to you to make sure you are making the dough for them.

rik o shea

Said on the 28 June 2009

now jonny, take that screwdriver out of your head, and use it like i showed you , theres a good boy.

JTV

Said on the 1 July 2009

But what you didnt know was “jonny” was an illegal imigrant who got the course for nothing. and was treated like a royal rent boy afterwards.
He thought the screwdriver was somthing to pick your ears clean with. Until the pimps showed him it was for jamming up your ass.

rik o shea

Said on the 3 July 2009

which end did he jam up his arse ? no, on second thoughts I dont want to know, and I DONT want it back either.

Tarquin Fintimblimwimlim Biscuit-Barrel

Said on the 6 July 2009

Oh joy, this is my ideal website. I fucking hate most adverts, and am happy to find somewhere to vent my spleen alongside fellow ad-haters.

Big Dave – I laughed so much at your post from 18/02, I literally pissed myself laughing. Fortunately, an elephant crashed through my living room wall to slurp it up.

MB

Said on the 15 July 2009

I’m told that the skills centre have just gone into official recievership. Bet all those ‘course advisors’ and admin twats wish they had ‘learned while they earned’ now

JTV

Said on the 17 July 2009

Dont worry MB we havent seen the last of Gary and Tony. They will be back as “Neptune Skills”. If they had gone bankrupt, that would have been another story.

Alice

Said on the 17 July 2009

Here is my Skills Centre story. My boyfriend decided it was time to do something about his lack of qualifications. We saw the ad in question on Tv one day, and a week later a salesman came round. My bf was worried that his poor math skills might mean he’d find the course too hard, but the salesman kept assuring him that he’d have no problem. To be fair, we were stupid and naive, and without checking it out at all, my bf signed up to the electrical course. We took out a loan for just under £10000 to pay for it. A month later, the course materials arrive. I had a look at them, and begin to worry, as they seem pretty poor quality and also involved a lot of complicated maths. After many frustrating evenings, we came to the conclusion that not only was the course incredibly complicated for someone who was a complete beginner, there was simply too much maths for my bf to handle. I got an A* maths GCSE (don’t mean to brag) and even I was struggling. So we then wrote a letter tot the Skills Centre, saying that we felt we were missold the course under the Supply of Goods and Services Act, 1982 (found it on Google). We asked for a full refund. After 2 months, (and a couple more £174 monthly payments), there was no reply, so we rang them up, and were told that the loan had been written off, and we would get a full refund of the repayments we had already made! Today we heard from Barclays, confirming we would get a refund. Result! We also rang the Skills Centre a couple of days ago, and were told that they had gone into administration. Looks like we had a lucky escape. Looking back, it is now obvious to us that there are much easier and better ways to get qualifications.

Bigdave

Said on the 20 July 2009

Alice…Im happy to hear that you got yourselves out of that sticky situation.
BUT, i do have to worry that if you had a £10000 loan taken out on the strength of this ad, youll soon be investing every penny you both own in a gypsy tarmacing consortium.

JTV

Said on the 20 July 2009

just as i thought. they go into “administration”, as the goverment looks at companies and not people. They will now be free to start yet another company with a fresh clean slate. even though the same crooks are in charge. This is sick. When will people wake up?

Smithery Baggins

Said on the 2 August 2009

“Nice Wheels”

“Tar mate, I’m my own boss now”

“err I was being sarcastic, your drivng a van with Gary Electrical writen on it, your wheels are shit!

JTV

Said on the 5 August 2009

Was Tony comming out of the Jobcentre when he bumped into Gary? And Gary was simply rubbing it in. “im my own boss, and ur out of work. HAHA!”

Mike

Said on the 6 August 2009

Coming out of the job centre? Since when does the job centre have a shit load of TV’s in the window?! Those are some good observational skills JTV. You should attend the observational skills centre

Simon Breadbin

Said on the 6 August 2009

I’ve seen their advert. There’s this guy right, and he comes out of a shop and accidentally bumps into an old workmate. The guy is busy sending a text message though and although he mutters an apology, he fails to notice his by now very observant ex-colleague, observing him from over the copy of the Observer he was reading. The ex colleague is presumably loaded and has tons of girlfriends or something, I wasn’t really paying attention.

JTV

Said on the 9 August 2009

pipe down mike, it was only a joke. Maybe the tvs are for advertising the jobs that dont really exist because we are in recession.

burntwaffles

Said on the 12 August 2009

Daniel newton

Said on the 16 October 2009

I have just setup another website http://www.tvs-worst-ads.co.uk its forum based and you can start your own advert threads, there’s not many members cos i have just set it up today but i hope its a success! you can make your own threads on ads!

rik o shea

Said on the 26 October 2009

LATEST COURSE FROM THE SKILL CENTER:
ive just signed up for their city and guilds colonic irrigation course ,course materials as follows;
1. acme turbo shitsucker mk1, with suck and blow option for rapid emptying of shit tank.
2 .industrial 2inch bore pipe for use with above.
3 .adjustable sphincter adaptor (to ensure airtight seal).
4 500 litre shit tank.
5.acme arse spreading tool for troublefree fitting of sphincter adaptor
6.pebbledashing tool for external rendering of property, contents of shit tank sufficient for average 3 bed semi.
7.has been fully tested and approved.
8.satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.

Anne

Said on the 26 October 2009

2inch bore LOL

rik o shea

Said on the 26 October 2009

anne the man (infamous cross dresser)?

Dan

Said on the 1 November 2009

Hey im doing a course with the skills centre, ive done 2 weeks of the 6 which is costing me 10.5 grand and its awfull,ive been mis-sold to in many ways and just know im gonna end up with phoney qualifications and even phonier skills (they give out the answers to exams if people dont know) i cant seem to get hold of the skills centre to complain about it so ive taken up the complaint with the barclays partner finance people who supllied the loan, only they dont seem interested in helping me either. so now ive made the decision to just stop paying the loan and stop doing the course, but barclays will probably sue me now i dont know im just the little guy. but if anyone knows of anything i can do to get me out of this mess, any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. thanks

Mary Pinder

Said on the 2 November 2009

@Dan

A word of wisdom for you: Don’t beleive everthing these shitty adverts tell you.

CovertJellyfish

Said on the 2 November 2009

@Dan Don’t stop paying the loan. That will only destroy your credit rating, the finance company has no control over the product. The only kind of complaint you can raise against the finance company is if you have been missold the finance, but that is extremely unlikely. Your best option is to raise a formal complaint via trading standards, and look on the internet for forums for people who have been stung this way, they will be able to help you better… Good luck with it all and I hope you get things sorted.

mysterious woman of mystery

Said on the 23 November 2009

@Dan – as I understand, if you took the loan out with Barclays through the skills centre, they have an obligation to continue your training, whether with the skills centre or with an alternative training provider. When the skills center went bump, other training companies purchased the client lists and were planning to continue the training although I understand this will take some time. Most courses may be held in the same centres as before, as the Skills Centre subcontracted all their training anyway. Unfortunately your chances of getting a refund are pretty much nil as the company are no longer trading. My advice would be to get in touch with other people who have been stung and kick up as much fuss as possible – the more of you get involved, the more likely you are to change something.

DanielG94