Slim Fast - Fruity, Tootie. Now My Jeans Fit My Booty
January 13th, 2008Ah, it’s the second week of January. What does that mean?
No, no, it’s not time to buy Easter Eggs for the whole family. It’s time to lose that weight you put on at Christmas, Fatso (then you can buy the Easter Eggs).
Why should you lose weight? Because Fat People, you’ll destroy us all.
You see, it turns out we’re greedy, glutinous parasites feeding on any old crap they’ll flog us down at the take-away and we just don’t know when to stop.
Yep, we’re all eating ourselves to death. Your fat ass is a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off. And Christ, when it does it’s going to make one hell of a mess.
What a bunch of cunts we really are.
But in the “Shitty Human Being” stakes, we’re nothing compared to the writers of the song on the latest Slim Fast advert:
The unsophisticated saturated fat and sugar high of the fast food (that probably got so many of Slim Fast customers fat in the first place) is pretty similar to the unsophisticated crow-barred lyrics in this advert.
“Fruity, Tootie. Now my jeans fit my booty!”?
“Funky, Monkey. Gimme a chocolate bar that’s chunky!”?
Yes, I confess, there is something undeniably catchy about the tune but every time I hear it I want to smother my ears in Nutella and let a fat person gnaw them off so I never have to listen to it again.
Although I think that this advert might be part of a cunning plan to help people lose weight. Cutting out two normal meals and replacing them with Slim Fast is all well and good but will only go so far. I get the feeling that Slim Fast have made the lyrics in this advert so bloody annoying that when it comes on you have to scramble about for the TV remote to switch channels as fast as you can. Thereby introducing an exercise regime into your diet and burning a few more calories as you go.
This is the only sane explanation I could come up with for this advert. It really was.
(4.7)
56Responses:
Jen
January 13th, 2008 11:24 pm
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Save me from the annoying Slim Fast woman! The lyrics sound like they’ve been written by a twelve year old. And if you’re gonna eat 24/7 of COURSE you’re gonna be fat!
That’s all I got to, I couldn’t stand to listen anymore.
Entity
January 15th, 2008 2:28 pm
Oh dear God, it’s like the ‘They’re Gonna Taste Great’ of 2008.
tigerstail
January 21st, 2008 11:07 pm
The word is “arse” not “booty”
Michael
January 22nd, 2008 9:05 pm
From the looks of her she’s advertising a product called “Stay-Fat”.
It’s so depressing that there are armies of stupid women out there who are actually taken in by adverts for this kind of shit, so desperate for something to foist their insecurities upon and momentarily relive their utter despondency, in the belief that the simple act of a transactional purchase of Product X is actively “doing something” about their weight. The worst thing about them is that they perpetuate this lunatic idea that things like chocolate bars, crisps etc should be coveted at all - nevermind the fallacy that they’re “low fat”. You stay slim and healthy by eating fruit and vegetables, excercising portion control, and above all EXERCISING, you stupid bovine fucking cunts, not eating low-fat, low-calorie rubbish devoid of any nutritional value. For shite like Slim-Fast to be effective on its own, without you moving your lardarse from the sofa from time to time, you’d have to stay on the plan forever and you’d die in your 50s due to the lack of nutrients. Stupid sheep-like CUNTS.
Sue
January 28th, 2008 2:13 pm
Wow, that MIchael is a real woman hater!
Silky
January 28th, 2008 8:55 pm
To be fair, Sue, I think it’s fat people in general Michael has a problem with. It’s just that Slim-Fast target women fair specifically. Am I wrong? Am I wrong?
MIchael
February 1st, 2008 9:33 pm
Sue and Silky, I really don’t have a problem with “fat” people. What I do have a problem with is the glut of “overweight” people I work with who simply refuse to accept that they are that way because a) they eat too much shit, and b) they don’t do any exercise.
The kind of stupid CUNTS who think that STUPID SHITTY EXPENSIVE diet programmes with colour-coordinated “days” are going to make them lose and keep lost weight. Stupid thick CUNT CUNT FUCKERCUNT FUCKCUNT BITCHARSEHOLE FUCKCOWCUNTFUCKERMONGS.
Pete
February 2nd, 2008 12:04 am
The advert itself doesn’t really annoy me, It’s the faux Kate Nash / Lily Allen talking to music, but not actually singing that’s wank. They’re shit and so it this ad
Dave
February 3rd, 2008 11:27 am
Didn’t think SLIMFAST could come up with a more annoying ad than the last one, but they managed it with ease, I’m with Michael, this sort of shortcut rubbish does not work in the long term only a complete ovehaul of your eating habits and exercise regime will do you any good.
Christine
February 6th, 2008 12:13 pm
The ad sends the message that there is an easy way to lose weight. It makes me cringe. The advert annoyed me with the slightly overweight woman dancing around and singing about eating 24/7 and chunky chocolate bars giving the impression that you don’t have to change your ways. The truth is you have to save unhealthy food for the odd treat and get out and do a bit of exercise.I do have a bit more sympathy with overweight people than Michael. It can be hard to lose weight if you get into bad habits but I think these ads are dispicable as they take advantage of the vunerable! The product is shite so I suppose the adverts are bound to be.
ellyyyyyy
February 6th, 2008 9:13 pm
THIS ADVERT IS PROPER COOL! AND ITS A FUCKING CLASS SONG! YOU ARE ALL JUST IN DENIEL YOU LOVE IT REEEEALLY!!!! :p wey i think its fucking class and soo funny, and catchy (Y)
SuperFurrySeahawk
February 13th, 2008 11:34 am
This ad actually makes me want to put ON weight instead of losing it, and I have the build of a sumo wrestler.
RumpleThumps
March 2nd, 2008 11:13 pm
I think the woman that’s on this advert is the same one that was advertising this crap about 6 months ago on another Slim Fast advert. She was fat then and she’s still fat now.
I can only think that if she walked to the shops to buy her Slob Fast, instead of getting her fat ‘booty’ into her (probably) specially designed car, she might lose a pound (in weight, as opposed to £££s).
PIFLover
March 3rd, 2008 11:11 am
Yes, it’s the same woman. Here’s the other ad of doom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiJYp37LrhA
IMYOURMUM
April 15th, 2008 1:52 pm
It’s a different woman, use your eyes you dunce.
RumpleThumps
April 15th, 2008 7:04 pm
I think that ‘its a different woman’ would have probably sufficed………..
Tracy
May 9th, 2008 5:39 pm
As a stay at home mum I find anything remotely aimed at my demographic entirely offensive. As if I’d got to Iceland because Katona does? Why would I want to watch Loose Women or GMTV. I certainly don’t wish to read Take a Break/ Having children does not rob you of every brain cell. I wish the media would realise this. I’m sure there must be other housewives frustrated at the lack of any kind of mental stimulation out there!
Michael
May 10th, 2008 10:23 am
AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! It’s BACK!!!!!
pb
May 11th, 2008 9:41 am
yummy food 24/7? Ther’s your problem love. Unless it’s celery, cramming food in your gob all day is going to make you put on weight.
Emile
May 12th, 2008 12:47 am
tootie fruity stick a stiff cock up her booty and then she might be satisfied….. instead of a low cal fruit bar how about a nice juicy lump of coal in between meals…..isnt it about time these adverts were taken off our screens so that the fat people of this world can no longer have an exscuse to sit on their back sides and nibble these shite bars all bloody day long….what the fat people need is six months intensive training with the parachute regiment…….or possibly a couple of years in prison hey thats not a bad idea if your fat they put you down for a couple of years that way the weighjt lose wopuld be very fast especially if they are given bread and water only….so bugger off slimfast my idea’s a whole lot better and its cheaper too……
IMYOURMUM
May 12th, 2008 8:52 am
“stick a stiff cock up her booty and then she might be satisfied” You reckon?? Jesus Christ, if your mum catches you type stuff like this she’s going to wonder where she went wrong - and why she bought you that laptop for your studies.
Jen
May 12th, 2008 11:16 am
It’s back and worse than ever! Features the annoying bint stuffing her face with cereal now.
LordNAg
May 12th, 2008 8:44 pm
I know it’s only a 30 second ad but it seems to last for fucking ever. If they’d stopped after “Walking tall” then I might not hate it so bloody much. That seemed like the logical stopping point.
FBI
May 13th, 2008 2:06 am
IMYOURMUM were watching you…..
JV
May 18th, 2008 7:02 pm
I think the song is good. I actually searched the internet to look for it. I like the way the cymbal is struck on “funky”. I think it’s sexy and the song doesn’t offend me.
Having said that, I found the above comments v. amusing and guess it’s true that it doesn’t portray a very sophisticated approach to excessive consumption. I hadn’t really noticed that she wants chocolate bars and the like. In its defence she’s not waif-like. But on balance it’s ludicrous (I still really like the song though).
Jen
May 19th, 2008 8:14 pm
Hang on, you actually took time out of your life to LOOK for this ad?!
JV
May 20th, 2008 11:16 pm
Mmm, ‘fraid so. Major C chord going to A minor flat 5 which is a blues chord, basically it goes from a major chord to a barely-related blues chord, again and again and again. Repetition in the music accords with the lyrics on screen, like a sing-a-long for kids but hipper and swinging.
It’s also got a latin american type beat, the musical beat is one step behind the lyrics, tick (beat), tock (beat) etc. The cymbal’s always on beat (coinciding with her voice). Nice drum intro too (with her dancing in background).
There’s a call and response element to it (as used in catholic church, gospel music). The call is on the major C chord “fruity tooty?”. The response: “now my jeans fit my bootie”. Each call isn’t advertising. Each response is. Each call is questioning, since the melody goes up like a question. Each response answers, the melody going down, the implication being that the answer is slim fast.
There’s a sixties feel to it (compare lava lamps, bright red plastic chairs) which may accord with their demographics.
I think it’s got great production values. Talent used for the purveyance of tosh. I think it’s fantastic.
tuppence
May 22nd, 2008 2:18 pm
An interesting, erudite and generally correct analysis of the ‘Booty’ song from JV.
Still, I’d rather be a crewmate on the starship ‘Event Horizon’ than ever listen to this song again.
Jen
May 22nd, 2008 10:01 pm
My sentiments exactly. I was a music student. but nothing on earth could make me listen to that song enough to analyse it like that.
SlimFat
June 3rd, 2008 9:50 pm
I’m sorry my ad offended you so much. I suppose you’re the kind of people who hated my son in his advert, for Frosties, “They’re gonna taste great”. After a rash of rather nasty YouTube incidents, my little pumpkin’s advert was pulled, never to be shown again and now he’s in therapy thanks to you.
And I’m not fat I’m just big boned.
ALEX THE GREAT!!!!!!
June 3rd, 2008 10:00 pm
Woah i can’t believe your son is that horrible boy of the frosties advert!! Is your husband gonna make a really bad advert next? Also dear their is no such thing as big boned you twat.
ps.Michael is right.
Arsemole
June 4th, 2008 7:43 am
Slimfat rhyming slang for Twat quite obviously shove that box of frosties up his arsehole and then kill the fucker and as for that stupid fucking cunting slut on the slimtwat add she should be put down as soon as possible for she is suffering from mad twats disease…….
Jonny Chestwig
June 4th, 2008 4:45 pm
I’m assuming this advert didn’t really float your boat then Arsemole?
Marsten
June 4th, 2008 6:36 pm
While the ‘fruity, tooty’ line is bad, the ‘oi, boy’ line is just so mind-numbingly vapid that I perpetually feel an overwhelming need to readjust the shape of my head with a twelve-pound sledgehammer whenever it plays. Any song which includes the words ‘oi, boy’ together should be banned under the geneva convention.
turd
June 5th, 2008 6:19 pm
heeey
this advert is AMAZING
I LOVE WOOP WOOP
Bumsex
June 6th, 2008 10:54 pm
Fruity, Tootie, I don’t really care about my bootie
Gooey, Heaven, because I want to stuff my face 24/7
Tick, Tock, to my type it comes as an incomprehensible shock (that)
Walking, Tall, only exercise and diet makes a difference at all
Funky, Monkey, I’ll forever be more or less chunky
Oi, Boy, being the subject of ridicule I secretly enjoy
Michael
June 7th, 2008 8:52 pm
What I fail to comprehend is the marketing rationale behind using such a hippo to captivate the target audience. It seems as futile as trying to toilet-train your toddler by just squatting in front of him and shitting on the floor.
SlimFat
June 8th, 2008 6:43 pm
OK, Arsemole I can do that but do you think I should use low fat or full fat milk?
Dave
June 9th, 2008 5:31 pm
Michael I think they’ve got it right, she looks the sort of saddo who would use the product, you know the type, nearly thirty still lives at home, gets pissed on cheap vodka before going out on a Friday night, goes home alone only to find the batteries have run out in her rampant rabbit.
Coral
June 11th, 2008 8:41 pm
I Love it!
Dead catchy but yeah I know it’s pretty shite, but ahhhh wellll!
horndog
June 11th, 2008 11:02 pm
Slim fast, die young!
kirsty
June 12th, 2008 7:23 pm
omg if anyone thinks that the slim fast advert is annoying then they should look in the mirror coz your face is annoying me god this is the best advert i have seen in my hole life i litterally know it of by heart even the voice overs !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coral
June 12th, 2008 10:04 pm
pahaha
Yeh, I lagree I likes it!
Bit of an immautre come back though ey lav? ;D
xXx
sophi
June 13th, 2008 9:42 am
are we in america?it is not f*kin booty!!!!!!!
horndog
June 16th, 2008 1:08 am
I heart sophi’s booty!
TeenHater
June 16th, 2008 10:16 pm
Kirsty… dear oh dear oh dear. You will learn about how life works, hopefully the hard way - which, judging by the clues as to your lifestyle and peers intimated by your grasp of the written word - will hopefully involve you getting shot/knifed etc.
Mr A Reaper Esq
June 20th, 2008 10:17 pm
Well lets hope that more of you fucking stupid women go on diets and get some really good diet related disorder so that you come and see me e.g die….theres nothing better girls for dieting than putting your fingers down your throat and bringing up that slim fast shite…eat more i say……until the next time we meet ta ta for now….
bonje
June 23rd, 2008 9:46 am
i hope this advert rotts in hell with hitler and i curse the day the person who made it was born!!!!
i hope satan shoves a pinapple up her “booty”…. good day!
tigerstail is a (noun)!
horndog
June 26th, 2008 7:39 pm
(Noun) goes after little (adjective) (noun).
Lisa Francis
June 29th, 2008 10:11 am
Wow… I’d call this a successful advert given the response its got.
So it is annoyingly catchy. Everyone dislikes it (or at least tries too)
It’s outrageous that Slim Fast imply that you can eat it anytime you like.
Michael has a good point about getting off the sofa doing light exercise and eating sensibly.
Though I think you ought to consider that some of the vulnerable women (myself included in this)
have various conditions (menopause etc) and no matter how much exercise or how little / sensibly we eat.. some of us just are what we are. Just because you see a few unmotivated women in your office doesn’t mean you’ve got the right to be so abusive.
Re: the woman on the advert and you calling her fat.. GET A REALITY CHECK!!!
She looks like an average woman to me.
Take a look in the mirror.. bet you don’t look like Brad Pitt do you?
Michael
June 29th, 2008 10:25 pm
Well I for one have no shortage of offers actually Lisa, and despite only being about 10 years younger than Brad I look less than half his age - I’m still routinely ID’d in clubs, bars etc on account of my youthful pulchritude.
Claire
July 3rd, 2008 11:20 pm
The ONLY thing that makes this advert less annoying than any Halifax one is the fact that it’s on less.
Michael
July 6th, 2008 8:04 pm
The ONLY thing that makes this advert less annoying than any Halifax one is that the Halifax ads don’t prey on STUPID THICK BOVINE CUNTS.
kirsty
July 11th, 2008 6:53 pm
OMG this is the best tv advert ever i cant believe its on tvs worst adverts i know it of by heart word for word and it never bores me . I LOVE DANCING TO THE TV LOL
Lisa Francis
July 14th, 2008 2:14 pm
Well Micheal, you may be beautiful and young (man I wish I could be a fly on the wall the day you wake up and realise its all caught up with you) but your boasting about it just further shows that you have absolutely no comprehension of anything other than yourself.
It must be wonderful to live life where the world rotates around you.
Considering that 40-50 year olds are the majority in this country you must have a glorious time throwing verbal abuse around.
I have to admit that I am further surprised by your saying that you’ve 34 (Brad Pitt is 44 - 10 = 34)
As your use the English language, further emphasised by the adolescent use of caps locks led me to believe that you were around 12 years of age.
Clearly my mistake.
@ Kirsty I’m thrilled that at someone enjoys the advert
Michael
July 16th, 2008 8:07 pm
Wow, that’s me told then. A condign reproach if ever there was one. I am simply consumed by remorse.
Lisa my lovely, as beguiling as your over-active imagination is we will all be grateful for as soon as you manage to get your hands on a new pair of batteries for your Rampant Rabbit.
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