SCS – £5 Million Give Away!
10 May 2007 by SilkyWe had a bank holiday over here in the UK this week which means getting stuck for hours on a congested motorway, a visit to the seaside even though it’s minus 5 degrees and pelting it down, or going to one of the great bank holiday super-bargain mega-saver give-aways at the shops (or in fact, all three).
Nowhere in good old Blighty are these give-aways more prevalent than at sofa shops. And here’s the first rule of the sofa flogging game, if you want to succeed it’s important to have a name that’s an abbreviation but no-one must be allowed to know what it stands for. That’s why SCS (“Seriously Cheap Sofas” ??) and DFS (“Discount Furniture Store” ??) are the *big two* sofa players.
The second rule is when it comes to adverts you’ve got to have a dodgy rip-off of a well know song. And when it comes to dodgy rip-off’s of well known songs the king has to be the DFS’s Subterranean Homesick Blues rip off. A rip-off so bad, it has to be seen to be believed. (As far as I can tell from my extensive research, an advert that sadly has not been preserved for posterity. If anyone finds it, please post a link in the comments!)
The third rule is basing your advertising campaigns around the fact your sofas are half price, sometimes you even have to go as far as giving “Double Discounts”! In fact as far as I can tell their sofa’s are constantly at half price. I’d love to know how long you have to have an item advertised at full price for the them to claim the prices they advertise are actually *half price*. I’m guessing it must be somewhere approaching 1 full second.
If you do buy an sofa from either SCS or DFS at full price you must qualify for the title “Unluckiest Person in Britain”.
Here’s the fourth rule, and the reason why I’ve chosen to induct SCS into the TWA Hall of Shame, you’ve got to have a celebrity in your advret. DFS’s had Linda Barker but SCS have Steve Owen Martin Kemp.
Yes, Steve Owen Martin Kemp of ex-Spandau Ballet fame. Interestingly Spandau Ballet are are named after some graffiti seen on a lavatory wall, which presumably is where Steve Owen Martin Kemp also found the telephone number of his acting teacher.
As Martin Kemp Steve Owen in Eastenders, he was a cheeky cockney with a temper but a disarming smile and he wooed the nation. And just as his smile wooed us the public, so a big cheque from ITV wooed him (see what I’ve done there?). It was at this time that SCS decided to sign up Steve Martin as the face of their adverts, on what must be a water-tight, 25 year contract.
As for his ITV acting career Steve Martin appeared in some instantly forgettable drama (probably in which his child/wife was terminally ill and he needed to be cheeky but with a temper/sad but with a disarming smile) and was never seen again.
Except in the SCS adverts!
Oh and how he seems to love them. Delivering his lines through all but gritted teeth (whilst never losing his disarming smile) he knows his acting career is in a Spandau toilet. And no amount of discounting will get it back.
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(9 votes, average: 3.89 out of 5)
11Responses:
Dave
Said on the 8 February 2008
Please please please can we have a rest from these fuckin’ sofa ads, they are on every twattin’ ad break, I don’t want to buy a fuckin’ sofa. Now we are being serenaded by Eartha Kitt ( what appropriate rhyming slang that is) to ‘come to ma house, come on’. I’ll come over to your house Eartha, I’ll put your windows in and set fire to your sofa. Grrrrrrrr for pities sake stop these fuckin ads.
Michael
Said on the 19 October 2008
It’s the same here in the US. I think every piece of furniture we’ve ever purchased was at half price. And I don’t know how it works there, but furniture stores are CONSTANTLY advertising that they’ve LOST THEIR LEASE and they are going out of business. I think it’s a scam to save money hauling all that crap to their next location because within a couple months they’re having a GRAND OPENING SALE. And of course everything is half price again.
If you want a real giveaway, check this one out…
http://michaelsmillion.blogspot.com
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 11 June 2009
SCS adverts really SUCK! The latest one I have just seen advertises a sofa for “just £10 a month.” You may think that doesn’t sound like much but then you will realise how long you’ll be paying this amount for when you see the price.
The full price of the sofa is £480. That means you’ll be paying that for 48 months which is 4 years.
Does SCS really expect ANYONE to pay £10 every month for a fucking sofa for FOUR YEARS?! Why not just pay the full amount now? £480 is not that much!
ENOUGH OF THE FURNITURE ADVERTS ALREADY!
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 30 October 2009
ARGH! Take your shitty sofas and get the FUCK OFF my TV! If I see that “Strictly £10 Sofa Deal” again, I’m gonna put my foot through the TV and take a fucking match to all their sofas.
That one they call the “stunning Liana” is anything BUT stunning. It’s FUCKING UGLY! Why the fuck would anyone buy that?
SCS = Stupid Cunt Sales, Shitty Crappy Sofas?
And stop trying to rip off that pile of shit TV called Strictly Come Dancing!
Also, they mention Christmas delivery. FUCK OFF! I don’t want a fucking sofa for Christmas!
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 31 October 2009
What do you want for Christmas?? I would like a cake….
I want cake too
Said on the 31 October 2009
What a plan Jellyfish!
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 1 November 2009
See ScS, you don’t need a never ending sale… just offer cake with the sofa….
I want cake too
Said on the 1 November 2009
I’d certainly buy one of their crappy sofas if it came with free cake.
Ad Hater 2.0
Said on the 5 January 2010
News at £10?! You fucking twats! How dare you rip off News at Ten! Also, those sofas are fucking ugly, especially that PINK leather one. Why the fuck would anyone buy that shit?!
dan
Said on the 16 March 2010
load of wank
Ad Hater 2.0
Said on the 22 April 2010
Great, the £10 a month bullshit is back on our screens once again. I just heard that one of the sofas is called “The Hits Collection.” I got a more appropriate name for it. How about “The Shit Collection?” It’s just fucking ugly! Why don’t SCS get the message and just FUCK OFF?! I don’t want to spend FOUR FUCKING YEARS paying £10 every month for a fucking sofa!