It’s been a bad few months for democracy.

We’ve recently found out that Ant and Dec didn’t really win the Peoples Choice Award at the 1896 British Comedy Awards. It was actually won by some woman that does impressions of Dickens characters, or something like that (to be honest I’ve not fully paid attention to this story), but Robbie Williams hates Dickens so he fixed the result.

Then there’s the shenanigans in Zimbabwe where the ruling Zanu PF party are trying to win the election by not telling people that they’ve actually lost and hoping no-one notices. Well Mugabe, the games up, TV’s Worst Adverts has noticed!

Finally there’s the recent mayoral election in London in which Boris Johnson rigged the vote to beat Ken Livingstone.

Oh no, hang on, Boris didn’t rig the vote, he won fair and square. Hhm, I can’t decide if this is because Londoners are a bunch of ungrateful bastards or just all really up for a laugh (”Let the blonde haired buffoon have a go. We want to see what he fucks up first!” etc.)

At this point, I should probably lay my cards on the table and say I know very little about, and have even less of an interest in, politics.

You see I get all of my political opinions by reading the headlines in tabloid newspapers. That’s how I know things like “Gordon Brown: Descended from crocodiles!” and “Government Minister masturbates to climax in ear of the Iraq war!” and “Cost of living set to treble by the time you’ve finished reading this headline!”.

OK, I don’t really read the headlines. I scan them and take in “the vibe”. And that’s what I got. Crocodiles hey? I wondered why he never cries…

But anyway, there you have it. Proof, if ever it were needed, that democracy’s beauty is also its fatal flaw: Any old idiot can vote. Yep, as long as you’ve got a pulse and you’ve registered, you can vote. Although in some parts of Birmingham a pulse isn’t even necessarily required.

Which brings me to Product of the Year.

Product of the Year is the UK’s biggest consumer survey; sent out to 12,000 households, of which about 60% bother to respond. It allows *consumers* to vote for products on a panel selected short-list that manufacturers have had to pay to be on. Which, to be fair, isn’t too dissimilar to the process for parliamentary elections.

Full details of the Product of the Year selection process can be found on their Web site. Here’s my favourite bit though:

A system developed in France ensures that greater weight is given to votes cast by people who have actually tried the products.

What?

Greater weight is given to votes cast by people who have actually tried the products?

Come on, what sort of idiot would vote something “Product of the Year” when they’ve never actually used it? Let alone vote something “Product of the Year” when they’ve never actually used it and presumably state that they’ve never used it!

The claimed benefits of winning Product of the Year are reasonably substantial. Previous winners have seen their sales improve by “10% to 100% or more“. Just because of they now carry the Product of the Year logo.

So not only are we stupid enough to vote for products that we’ve never used, we’re also stupid enough to base our opinions on the opinions of other people who are stupid enough to vote for something that they’ve never used.

So remember the next time you’re tempted to buy “Always with Silk” just because it carries the Product of the Year in the Feminine Care category, I voted for it and I’ve never even stuck one up myself. Not even tried to.

And I bet that makes you feel pretty, well, stupid.

Anyways, here’s a selection of Product of the Year adverts from just before TWA time began - or 2006 as it’s more popularly known:

Thanks to Gordon for submitting this bad ad.