Picture Loans – Dad’s Found Your Scooter

22 July 2007 by Silky

I can say 3 words in a Geordie accent:

  • Cake
  • Photocopier
  • Conjunctivitis

Genuinely that’s it. But that’s still makes me better at Geordie accents than the women from the Picture Loans advert:

She should have her Equity card taken off her, torn into a thousand pieces and thrown into the Tyne. Disgraceful.

Anyways, I’ve mentioned before that I think adverts for loans companies are like the psychics of the money world. Extorting money from the most vulnerable and needy.

This Picture Loans ad is slightly different though, it has a slightly different tone. They’re trying to make out that ringing up to arrange a loan is no bigger a deal than chatting to a close friend.

“I’m on the phone to Picture!” – the women snaps when her idiot husband dares to ask her a question.

“Sorry” – he mouths as if she’s talking to the Queen and it turns out the Queen is her mum.

“Don’t worry, it’s always like this here… Yeah, my fucking husband is always talking to me, the cunt” – You may not have noticed but I’ve subtly added in words what was previously only implied to that last sentence.

But it is this tone, that arranging a loan is such an off the cuff thing, no big deal, like calling a mate that makes this advert so completely unscrupulous.

If, like the woman in the add, you borrow £25,000 (“25″ she mouths to her husband as if they haven’t really spoken about this before because why would they) from Picture and pay it back over 180 months it will cost you nearly £45,000. Plus, it’s secured against your house, if you default on your loan, you lose your house.

And no matter how friendly Picture might want to portray themselves, if you don’t pay your loan back, they will fuck you royally:

“Josh, how many more times? Dad’s taken your scoota and all your other toys down to Cash Converters to pay back the £45 grand we owe Picture.”

Getting a loan of of £25,000 is an absolutely massive deal; not something you casually do in between Cash in the Attic and Doctors. Maybe if we all lived within our means a bit more we wouldn’t have to consolidate in the first place. But then what would be on the TV in between the programmes?

Ah, fuck it, do what you want.

I’m off to eat some cake then photocopy my conjunctivitis.

This Bad Ad was submitted by Mike Empuria. Cheers, Mike.

Update

Well it looks like TWA aren’t the only ones who think this advert makes taking a loan seem too light-hearted an affair. The Advertising Standards Authority has banned this from being shown again on TV (thanks for the link, Dave).

Of course, you can still watch it hear on TVs Worst Adverts (until it’s taken off YouTube that is…).

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Just How Bad is this Ad?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (229 votes, average: 4.58 out of 5)

55Responses:

  • Said on the 3 August 2007

    The woman mentions 25 grand as if it’s 100 quid. She says “that’s a lot less than we’re paying at the moment”, implying that Picture Loan’s interest rates are reasonable. But looking at the firm’s rates, you wonder who the ‘Geordie lass’ is currently in debt to – some loan shark who employs former heavyweight boxers to collect his cash?

  • Said on the 11 August 2007

    Its like the previous advert “well they better not cancel the football” who you talking to? she asks foolishly not knowing.Its Mike at his picture loan! how much do we want to borrow 25 grand? As though its nothing meanwhile shes videoing it on a video camera probaly one the reasons why the got so badly into debt, videoing it like some great proud family event. Hope the baliffs will be round soon.

  • Said on the 16 August 2007

    I don’t know why everyone is having a go at Picture. They are a great company, in fact I just heard that the Dad in the advert just tripped over Joshs’ scoota. He has a broken neck and will never work again. Just as you would expect, Picture stepped in and topped up her loan to 100 grand to see her through. How thoughtful is that ?

  • Said on the 1 September 2007

    Hate this advert as i have dealings with picture loan. (5 interest payment hikes in 8 months) Stay away from them guys honestly. By the way Josh , dad has sold your fuckin scoota to make ends meet and hes not there discussing loan with wife on phone cos hes looking for some rope and hes going up the attic with it.

  • Said on the 30 September 2007

    All true… but she is a bit of a fox; I’d lend her mine

  • Said on the 30 September 2007

    In response to Russell, we’re debating the rights and wrongs of a loan company’s marketing strategy here mister, not commenting on the attractiveness of the female in the advert. Although since you mention it, she isn’t bad and you can get behind me in the queue.

  • Said on the 11 October 2007

    I just hate for hate’s sake! soon criminals lower down the food chain will also be advertising that all you have to do to get fleeced is to phone up and arrange a time and place.

  • Said on the 12 October 2007

    It’s been taken off air! Officially! As it makes calling for a loan something that’s so easy to do that you don’t even need to think about it…or something.

  • Said on the 25 October 2007

    Link to article:

    http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/credit-and-loans/article.html?in_article_id=425172&in_page_id=9

    Finally, hopefully all the other loan ads will be banned too >_> someday..

  • Said on the 26 October 2007

    ssssh i am on the phone to picture. i ,love the thumbs up he gives her when shes sorting it out like theyve just sold their house for a massive profit .it just makes me want to shout JAAACK DADS FOUND YAH SKOOOOODER YOU FUKKIN MUG

  • Said on the 13 November 2007

    What a brilliant report on a shocking advertisment. Fantastic, and v funny too.

  • Said on the 29 November 2007

    Also why is the kids have southern accents?

  • Said on the 4 December 2007

    Does anyone have a lnk to the first advert? (an adult conversation)
    I’d love to do a mix of it. Which i’ll gladly post up, once completed.

  • Said on the 4 December 2007

    Doesn’t matter…i’ve found it.

  • Said on the 6 December 2007

    I HATE HER, DADS FOUND YER SCOO’ER!!!! she’ll talk 2 er son, but if her husband tries to talk he’ll get a rite mouth-full that she’s on the phone!!!

    I HATE PICTURE ADVERTS

  • Said on the 9 January 2008

    I enjoyed this advert: how?; by shout “it’s are your arse” as a reply to each question “where my/the……..”, “it’s up your arse”. Fitted every time – then I graduated to silently looking at my partner at each key phrase and then to a sort of graphic sign language. Keep us amused for a very long time did that little advertising gem.

  • Said on the 10 January 2008

    I can understand the medium, i mean everyone wants video footage of the most important times in their life, so it’s a natural conclusion that you’d want a record of the moment your finances became so perilous that you’d be prepared to hop in bed with Picture. The tone is something else though. That silent mouthing of ’25 Thousand’ sets me off into ‘one eye twitch’ mode every time. Part of me even hopes that the noise at the end is not Dad ‘finding the scooter’ but rather dads means of staying airbourne long enough to tighten the noose falling away, leaving him silentyl twitching while his ignorant wife silently mouths ‘Shall i call the doctor?’

  • Said on the 17 January 2008

    Why do people keep voting for this one? I believe it is a total pain in the arse, but surely the slim fast one should be at the top!

  • Said on the 31 January 2008

    STOP SPENDING MONEY YOU DON’T HAVE YOU THICK CUNTS.

    Job done, Picture can fuck off.

  • Said on the 12 February 2008

    This little gem spoofing this ad that I found on YouTube is closer to the truth than the original ad ever was…!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGrPwmDECEg

  • Said on the 12 February 2008

    That is the best spoof I have ever seen since the cillit bang & esure remixes.

  • Said on the 5 March 2008

    Dear Josh
    Since your father tripped over your scooooota and broke his bleeding neck i can longer afford to repay the 25 grand we owe thus iam now on the game and iam selling my used underwear on ebay.As i write this my latest punter who funnlly enough works for picture in the over due accounts department is upstairs strapped to your scoooota awaiting his punishment.
    I know that i have not been a good mother and when the next loan clears in the bank i will buy back your kidney and i will see if the childrens home in jersey will send you home.
    As ever your loving geordie Mother xx

  • Said on the 16 March 2008

    [...] from family members. The advert has been banned by the Advertising Standards Authority, appeared on TV’s Worst Adverts blog, inspired numerous YouTube spoofs and led to the formation of a group on Facebook (Hate the Picture [...]

  • Said on the 25 March 2008

    “don’t worry, it’s always like this here, but at least i can get me credit sorted!!”
    i’m sure the drug dealing mob boss on the other end of the phone was really concerned. look at the repayments, borrow £25,000, pay back £43,358. how the hell can paying back nearly £20,000 be an acceptable payment plan, and would they not have sorted how much they wanted to borrow before she rang them?? the music drive me crazy also. light hearted, hey lets get in debt for the rest of our lives!!!!!

    i hate her so much!!!!!!!
    the guy from the first advert too.

  • Said on the 26 March 2008

    Good that its been banned, it’s about time the ASA got a grip on this sort of shite. Borrowing this amount of cash should never be portrayed as being as easy as ordering a fucking pizza

  • Said on the 3 April 2008

    It’s been taken off youtube :)

  • Said on the 3 April 2008

    Thanks Marsten, I’ve updated the link to a worse quality one…

  • Said on the 14 April 2008

    Afraid this loan bit is sore point with me but I work in Theatre and I’ll bet none of them have an equity card ! Hilarious blog. the kid is clever too , manages to nip from garden into bedroom, unless they have two, or hes just clever and can throw his voice. Hope they got health insurance cos Dads just brocken his leg on scooter.
    And I’m sure she swears at poor Josh at the window. Ah well, happy families(-:

  • Said on the 1 May 2008

    Though the question on everyones mind is: Where is this woman now?
    I’m almost certain she is has been relocated under a government protection plan.

  • Said on the 1 May 2008

    To quote Charlie Brooker – ‘Picture the prick, actually you don’t have to, here he is!’

  • Said on the 17 May 2008

    Scooooota my arse more like a fucking northern fat twat bastard mind you all fucking northeners are thick….as thick as shit……they should wipe out the northern counties and line the fuckers up against a big fucking wall and shot the fucking lot…there fucking accents get on my tits….and as for the fucking scottish cunts weel themm cunts to should be wiped from the face of the planet what a bunch of homos in there skirts tossing there cabers…sounds a bit poofy to me…the south shall rise again….

  • Said on the 17 June 2008

    Guess what, Dad?

    Josh isn’t your real son. Infact, ‘Mam’ is sleeping with the guy from picture, and the money will go towards their elopement.

    Nae luck Dad.

    Also, the scooota is hollow, as Josh uses it to stash his heroin.

    Perhaps the biggest lie in this ad is that British kids do exercise.

    And arsemole, no need for racism, eh?? Caber tossing is shithot :D

  • Said on the 12 July 2008

    In response to aresemole – I think you’ll find that tossing a caber isn’t gay in the slightest – where as morris dancing is the most gay & retarded thing i have ever seen – so shut up you soft southern twat.

  • Said on the 14 August 2008

    I HATE this add. It’s so fake and insulting and if I were in that house the scooter would be found rammed up the Dad’s ar$e. Sideways.

  • Said on the 16 August 2008

    Why does she cover the mouthpiece to stop Mr Loan Shark listening, and then mouth ’25′ in silence anyway?! Silly cow.

  • Said on the 5 October 2008

    [...] from family members. The advert has been banned by the Advertising Standards Authority, appeared on TV’s Worst Adverts blog, inspired numerous YouTube spoofs and led to the formation of a group on Facebook (Hate the Picture [...]

  • Said on the 24 November 2008

    “is it 25 grand we want” she checks. Its important she checks I think as its only £25k she is loaning, a quick check is important! “yeh 25k is fine” the added £15k on top for repayments is just great.

    “25k ok darling?”

    “nah, make it 500 thousand instead luv”

  • Said on the 2 January 2009

    all i say is

    go fukin look for you scooter urself u borin old basterd…

  • Said on the 2 January 2009

    arsemole u r a fukin arsehole

    how cud u say get rid of all the scottish cunts fuk u u prick

    am scottish and am proud nd so is every other fukin proud scot in this country

    so FUK u…. just wait till we get our independence then fuk u

    prick thts wat u r a fukin prick

  • Said on the 15 January 2009

    The nonchalant way she slurps her coffee too. Letting us know that it’s such a normal mundane event…getting yourself buried in debt over a coffee.

  • Said on the 11 March 2009

    ## am scottish and am proud nd so is every other fukin proud scot in this country ##

    Because the obvious doesn’t state itself….

  • Said on the 13 March 2009

    ## am scottish and am proud nd so is every other fukin proud scot in this country ##

    Because the obvious doesn’t state itself….

    Brilliant! got told!

  • Said on the 15 April 2009

    Sod it, make it 50k. They can treat themselves to a ride-on mower for trimming their window box.

  • Said on the 27 April 2009

    Intriguing how everyone in the family bar the mother has Southern accents. Are Picture implying that us lot in Newcastle and further north are the only people thick enough to go for their deathly loans? Or are their children ashamed of their Tyneside heritage?

    Maybe she woke up one morning from a relaxing medical ailment with a variation on foreign accent syndrome – p*ss-poor accent adoption syndrome. She used to be an opera singer from Welwyn Garden City, but found it difficult to launch into arias in her new found regional accent. Or maybe she’s a particularly inept Mossad spy – and the scooter is nuclear weapons hidden in Grimsby? Either way, the possibilities are endless…

  • Said on the 17 May 2009

    I have always hated this stupid advert and I’m so glad it has now been banned.
    The way she says “Really? That’s a lot less than we’re paying now” makes we want to slap the woman in the face. Borrowing £25,000 is a really stupid thing to do and according to the small print you have to pay back £42,147! That’s a staggering £17,147 MORE than you borrowed. So you have to pay back almost DOUBLE what you borrowed.

    £234.15 per month? Doesn’t sound like a lot until you realise that you have to pay this for 180 months which is 15 YEARS! Would you really want to still be paying for a loan even after just 2 or 3 years?
    They offer loans of £10,000 to £100,000. Why would anyone want to borrow £100,000?! And the repayment periods are 10-25 years. I would so not want to be paying off a loan for 25 YEARS!

    Good on the ASA for getting this piece of crap of our TVs! :D

  • Said on the 17 May 2009

    To be fair the mongs they aim this shit at probably have 2 or 3 credit cards with 2k – 5k on them and are paying minimum payment. That takes on average 22 years to pay (assuming rate is around 29.9% I have seen cards at 35.9%) The problem is that people are too thick and afraid to go and speak to a professional financial advisor. Poeple are quick to say banks are shit, but they do try to stop people ending up in the hands of these tossers.

    PROTIP: If you owe money you already have a loan. It’s all about shopping round for the best deal, I bet you all price up your mobile deal when it come to the end of the tie in.

    NOTIP: If you bury your head in the sand it will all go away….

  • Said on the 28 July 2009

    Never mind the frivolity of the advert, as if a a loan of “only” £25,000 is as difficult to decide as a choice between tea or coffee….. what about that family? Mum has a crappy Geordie accent, dad has no discernable one, and the kids sound nothing like either….. whos really looking after those kids?

  • Said on the 18 August 2009

    Thank god this advert has been banned. I would love too meet the person who got this rubbish banned; in fact i would offer them whatever they wanted.

    I cannot begin to describe the annoyence this advert caused me for the year or so it was constantly shown 100 times a day for.

  • Said on the 24 September 2009

    She’s one of a long line of really bad bearers of Geordie accents. I have one and hear them all day long and hers is just appalling, nearly as cliched as Marcus whatshisname off the shit that is Big Brother. No-one here in Newcastle talks like that. No-one.

  • Said on the 16 October 2009

    I have just setup another website http://www.tvs-worst-ads.co.uk its forum based and you can start your own advert threads

  • Said on the 16 October 2009

    I have just setup another website http://www.tvs-worst-ads.co.uk its forum based and you can start your own advert threads, there’s not many members cos i have just set it up today but i hope its a success! you can make your own threads on ads!

  • Said on the 13 November 2009

    PICTURE IT!!!! PICTURE FUCKING WHAT?? BEND OVER AND TAKE IT. YOU ARE GONNA GET FUKD FOR MANY YEARS. DADS FOUND YOUR SCOOTER!! YEA WEL IM GLAD ITS BEEN FOUND BECAUSE AFTER YOU HAVE FLOGGED EVERYTHING IN YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR FORD MONDEO TO KEEP UP WITH THESE CUNTS AND THEIR EVER INCREASING PAYMENTS. THE SCOOTER WILL BE YOUR ONE AND ONLY MODE OF TRANSPORT FOR JOSH AND THE WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY. KEEP CLEAR OF THESE CUNTS. GLAD THEY WENT BUST!!

  • Said on the 3 February 2010

    aUnZRE http://www.cRk2bdPqQls602mIa4bgo.com

  • Said on the 19 March 2010

    Haha, thank God these days are over. This advert will become one of those that history teachers use to illustrate the attitude of an era. Imagine the school history classes in 100 years:

    “But miss, how did Britain end up in so much debt?”
    “Well, children – this genuine TV advert from the early noughties ought to explain things…”

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