Peugeot 308 – DRIVESEXY
1 April 2009 by SilkyHere’s part one of TV’s Worst Adverts‘ “Disturbingly Sexied Up” Trilogy – the Peugeot 308 DRIVESEXY advert, as submitted by the lovely Simon Breadbin:
2nd quarter 2009 and Britain Plc. is mired in recession.
A dolorous rain courses down the display windows of Teddington Peugeot as junior sales exec Jason sips his fourth cup of vending machine coffee and wonders how he will possibly meet his target for April. A slight breeze from the direction of the showroom door brings him back from his reverie and he notices the smartly dressed, attractive woman walking purposefully toward him.
“I’m looking for something kind of…Drivesexy” she smiles.
“What?”
“I’m looking for something kind of…Drivesexy” exact same tone and intonation.
“Er, we have these” he mumbles, while pointing awkwardly at a mundane hatchback.
“Fact me”Jason manages to recover some of his composure and launches into his by now familiar sale pitch; he gains an inch in height and more importantly he gains an inch in girth as he leers into the woman.
“Well we take a regular 308 and we pour on the goodies. Mundane alloys, some other stuff that practically all cars have, and hold on to your knickers, CUSTOM FUCKING MATS LMAONADE!!!!eleven”.
Warming to his subject he presses on in a deliberately smug tone “Rather than just paying us the correct price, you give us 12.5k and we give you change (probably a pound)”.
2nd quarter 2009, and Britain Plc. is mired in recession. A dolorous rain courses down the display windows of Teddington Peugeot as junior sales exec Jason suddenly jerks awake, realising that he has dozed off again whilst listening to one of the worst car adverts in a long time on a perpetual loop in the showroom.
In the forty five seconds or so he was asleep, he has managed to spill his coffee……..and ejaculate.
He sells nothing that day.
Nice one, Simon.
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(85 votes, average: 4.58 out of 5)
81Responses:
Cat
Said on the 1 April 2009
“Fact me” is so SO all-around terrible, I can barely keep from vomiting myself inside out.
Goit
Said on the 1 April 2009
Does it come in any other colours?
Noir! ‘cos it’s a french car, geddit!? ah ah ha ha ah….. arses.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 1 April 2009
Damn Frogs… Them and their crap cars, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them…. why don’t they just bomb the fuck out of the irritating whiny shits…
Steve H
Said on the 1 April 2009
I think Peugeot ought to go fact themselves for inflicting two of the most smug and irritating people on us in this advert. “You give me twelve and a half K” (Yeah, right, we’ve all got that kind of money lying around. ) “and we give you change” (eleven and a half K would be about right)
The salesman forgot to mention the other exciting extras, the revolving wheels and the see-through windscreen.
I did fall for it though, think I’ll rush out and buy one tomorrow. Oh no I can’t, I’ve been made redundant. Doh !
Jellyfish McSaveloy
Said on the 8 April 2009
What. An. Unholy. Turdspurt.
Rob
Said on the 11 April 2009
Those recent terror raids in the news?
I hope some of the planned targets were the garage with those two in it and the Peugeot marketing department.
James
Said on the 16 April 2009
this is a terrible terrible advert for many many reasons but the one that makes me want to smack the bloke in the face is the way he says “noir” na-waaaa or something – tit
i’d smack her in the face as well the stupid tart – why on earth are they both dressed that way in a Peugeot dealership for gods sake?
arrrrrgh!
John H
Said on the 7 June 2009
I agree- that bitch needed smacking full in the face for being so corny and boring an OLD flirty slag trying to be Sex in the City?
And that gormless dickhead, too. WHY ARE THEY BLOODY YANKS???????????????????
Smithery Baggins
Said on the 3 August 2009
Noooooooooooooo I thougt this had fucked off. This advert is simply garbage, it is completely beyond me how a bunch of Peugoet executives sat down, looked at this advert and said “yes thats worth broadcasting”. Peugeot if you want to know how to sell cars via the television 1st learn how to make decent cars then take a look at Audi’s adverts.
Clam
Said on the 8 August 2009
Words cannot describe how much I despise this advert. How can people sodomise the English language (and French) so much in a mere 30 seconds? What the fuck were they thinking? When did it ever, EVER, become acceptable to use “fact” as a verb? Utter cunts. How this is not in the top ten is beyond me. I’ve reviewed those that are and NOTHING is as abhorrent as this wannabe cool piece of utter awfulness.
Clam
Said on the 8 August 2009
By the way, I love the pastiche of the ad
Jimlad
Said on the 8 August 2009
What a crass piece of Yank shit?
I want to smack that old bitch- acting like she’s 15(?)- full in the fuckin’ face!
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 9 August 2009
ARGH!! How can this shitty advert be back on again?!
“You give me 12.5K and we’ll give you change”
Yeah, and how much? £12,499.99 would do nicely. I’m guessing the price is £12,495 meaning that you’ll get a measly £5 change.
Woman: “Any other colour than black?”
Idiot trying to sell car: “We have Noir.”
Are you really that stupid? Noir is black in FRENCH!
“Bluetooth, custom mats, yada yada.”
Who the hell gives a damn about bluetooth and custom fucking mats in A FUCKING CAR?! The way he says “yada yada” just makes me want to PUNCH the guy in the face so hard!
Thanks Peugeot for sticking one of the WORST adverts I have ever seen on TV!
Tim Spence
Said on the 9 August 2009
This advert fills me with so much rage, I can barely think of what to write here.
For starters, it’s just another drab Joker-faced Peugeot. You know a car isn’t selling well when they’re forced to introduce special editions which are the same as normal editions, but with electric windows or custom mats or something.
And why litter an advert for a French car, aimed at the UK market, with countless Americanisms and American accents? It doesn’t make sense.
The advert is terrible all the way through, and gets progressively worse, so it’s brilliant (hair-pullingly annoying) that it ends with the final salvo:
Her: Any other colour than black?
Him: We have it in noo-arr.
Noo-arr? NOO-ARR???? Are they trying to make an ironic joke at themselves, because it’s a French car, or are they just being stupid?
Smithery Baggins
Said on the 9 August 2009
To add to my other comment it is ridiculous stratagy to emphasise the fact that you can’t even choose the colour you want. What kind of an idiot is going to pay a premium for buying a brand new car where they can’t even choose the colour, thats the best part of buying a new car! ok if you want a black car fair enough but not everyone will (especially as black cars are like ovens in the sun) so their just restricting the number of the very few potential buyers.
Also I agree with Clam’s comment this should definatly be well in the top 10.
Clam
Said on the 10 August 2009
Um, can I point out to ‘Another Ad Hater’ that the makers of this advert, as despicable as they are, are aware, like everyone else, that ‘noir’ is french for black. That’s the point of their stupid joke. It’s still stupid though.
Archer
Said on the 10 August 2009
Noir is French for black. But it’s certainly not pronouced ‘NOO-ARR’. Even my terrible GCSE French teacher had better pronunciation.
Clam
Said on the 10 August 2009
Quite, hence my point about sodomising the French language too. The pronunciation is what makes it truly objectionable. Saying ‘Are you really that stupid? Noir is black in FRENCH!” is hardly a valid criticism as that’s clearly the point of the joke, such as it is.
Archer
Said on the 10 August 2009
I think the pronunciation is objectionable… but it’s not as bad as the smug self-satisfied way the ‘joke’ comes across. The guy’s face makes my skin crawl whenever I see the ad.
Smithery Baggins
Said on the 11 August 2009
I’ve just noticed after the bloke says 12.5 k he does a little angered sigh as he is having trouble fighting the urge to fuck the bitch right there & then, is that for real or was it in the script, either way I hate it even more. Keep voting 5 stars its almost in the top 10 where it belongs.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 11 August 2009
He’s probably thinking that this is the seventh irritating self centred tart that has walked in today, pretending to be a smoldering sex bomb, but she has no intentions of buying a car or giving him a jump, because she only wants to inflate her own sense of ego, meanwhile his co habiting partner, Larry, and the three children from Larry’s failed marrage, are sat at home starving, and sat in the dark because The Daddy hasn’t made a sale for three weeks because of dumb bimbo’s taking his turn at the line…..
stu
Said on the 12 August 2009
I cant believe there are so many people hating this advert. I watched it last night and just couldnt get what the guy was talking about when he said ‘no-ar!’ didnt have a clue what he was talking about and sat and thought about it fot ages. i had to know, which is why i came on here and found out, so thanks for that. it still doesnt make sense tho…
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 12 August 2009
Yes, the noir part is a joke but it is so bad and Peugeot were trying to be funny. However, they completely FAILED at doing that and SUCCEEDED in making one of the most IRRITATING adverts on TV ever!
FACTMENOIR
Said on the 12 August 2009
I love this advertt! This is the new ambassador’s party!
Smithery Baggins
Said on the 13 August 2009
OK which idiot hasn’t voted 5 stars?
YadaYada
Said on the 13 August 2009
Toe-curlingly awful, truly truly dire. Nooowarrr!!!!! Say it properly you underachieving woman-chasing Yank jerk.
Gremlin
Said on the 14 August 2009
Why do so many ad makers shove American voices onto ads shown in the UK? Especially bad when coupled with weird and meaningless phrases like “yada yada”; maybe it means something over the pond, but who knows – and who cares anyway. I rate this ad as even worse than 118118 and we-buy-any-car.com, and they’re absolute shite.
Archer
Said on the 14 August 2009
I love the idea that this ad is the ‘new ambassador’s party’! Cos, deep down, I think that’s what I’ve been waiting for. And I’m not actually lying (for once).
joe
Said on the 17 August 2009
I driver a Noo-ARR pergeot.
I actually types FACT – ME in to the web site, to see what complaints it got.
utter crap = cheesy, piss poor quality with a pinch of USA stupidity!
crap!
bee bee
Said on the 17 August 2009
i really love this advert. best advert ever. id rather not play on my xbox 360. id watch this all day..over and over.over and over.over and over.over and over again. brillient!!!! and it even give ya change!!!!!!!!!!!!!
adey
Said on the 18 August 2009
http://www.crushmy307.co.uk/
Please remember to include Jason, that annoying tart, the mats and anyone responsible for this ad yada ***king yada
Advent
Said on the 18 August 2009
Oui oui just as bad as that advert where the boy wants to go to the toilet only in his own house it don’t smell as nice as his friends toilet thanks to a certain air freshner…..This advert stinks too.
al
Said on the 18 August 2009
Advent, that one is on this site too.
Mark
Said on the 18 August 2009
Peugeot have gone for the advertising tactic of making a very memorable advert, by making it completely cringeworthy. This can work if the advert is actually funny in some way. This one isn’t. I guess I’m not the target audience (I would never dream of buying a Peugot, noir or otherwise), but at least now I have something else to take the p*ss out of Peugeot owning friends for! I just feel sorry for all the people working hard to make/distribute/sell these cars, it must be a real kick in the teeth when the marketing team mess it up so badly!
AKKA
Said on the 20 August 2009
I always thought he said “we have an O.R.” (operating room)
Pieface
Said on the 20 August 2009
“Fact me” – stolen from The Day Today, during one intro Chris Morris intones “Fact me till I fart”. A brilliant line in that surreal news docu-spoof, ripped off by some advertising wonk with too much charlie up his nose and no creativity.
Clam
Said on the 20 August 2009
Another ad hater, you have far more much dignity than me. I made a snide, pedantic remark and you deal with it in a perfectly civilised manner. As the kids say, props to you. Now, I think I need to make a post about that despicable “Impatience is a virtue” advert…
Andy
Said on the 21 August 2009
Pieface – ah, the Day Today.The real genius of the “fact me till I fart” line is that it referred to a line supposedly used by a certain former tv news presenteress in an alleged moment of passion. The Day Today was a work of genius. This Peugeot ad is, however, utterly shite. Had I ever considered buying a Peugeot (which I hadn’t), I certainly wouldn’t now.
john
Said on the 21 August 2009
A very clever advert…..well done peugeot. Taking the P*ss out of the americans for their inability to sound anything other than ROBOTIC, when inuendo demands some ‘passion’ and ‘finesse’ they inevitably come up very short. This ensures that the ‘Car is the star’ and ‘sexy’ is peugeots vanguard. I would hazard a guess that ‘noir’ refers to the comedy of it all, as it is sinister in a unique way. Allez peugeot et bon chance!!!!!!!!!Ha Ha Ha Ha……
puzzled
Said on the 22 August 2009
What is the name of the actress in this advert and what else has she been in? She is very familiar….
JP
Said on the 23 August 2009
Uuuuurgh
Way to wank up your product Peugeot
dungeoneer
Said on the 24 August 2009
I just want to smack that stupid cow everytime i have to listen to her saying ‘fact me’ – fact me? fact me? thats not even fucking English… uuuuuugggghhhh, god i hate this advert!
Diana
Said on the 26 August 2009
I’m so glad I found this site, I’ve been trying to make out what that repellent bloke meant with ‘y’c'n ‘ave an oo-aar. Thanks! You’ve facted me!!!
Tarquin Fintimblimwimlim Biscuit-Barrel
Said on the 26 August 2009
You’ve all made me feel terribly ashamed.
I think the woman in the ad is fit as, and would love to fact her senseless.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 26 August 2009
She has a pulse… so she passes the Jellyfish test…
Joanna Butler
Said on the 26 August 2009
lol Tarquin you sound like my other half, he said he’d ‘fact her alright’ whilst making a Sid James-esque type face
Muttley
Said on the 26 August 2009
Jellyfish
Nuttin’ wrong with Necrophilia. You should try it sometime..
Phil51
Said on the 26 August 2009
The actress looks like the lead actress from Hill Street Blues
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 26 August 2009
Necrophilia is fine… especially if you misjudged how hard to hit them so they wouldn’t run away…
Mark
Said on the 27 August 2009
Totally agree with the comments all you guys have made. I cannot remember a more misjudged and frankly awful advert being aired, ever! On top of all the other things that scare me about it, why does the woman feel the need to twirl round by the car and nearly kiss him? It looks like she has cum at that point! It’s really, really bizarre. I think the producers of it were on something when they made it and how the Pug board green-lighted it is beyond me! Still, all publicity beign good publicity, it has got into everyone’s heads and everybody’s talking about the brand!!! Is it me though, or is the woman/cougar in it really fit?
Dano
Said on the 27 August 2009
I bet the smug self satisfied marketing twat who put the story board up for this one thought that the car took on the role of a big penis or some other psychobabble. I’m sure it will work and there are multitudes of utter twats who are buying this car now because they think it is sexier than a Golf and don’t realise the car is SHITE.
The woman as irritating as she is would still get it.
Someone Somewhere
Said on the 27 August 2009
Any of you pricks heard of Sky+
Someone Here
Said on the 27 August 2009
Shove your Sky+ up your arse.
Smithery Baggins
Said on the 27 August 2009
I’d fuck her…up with a baseball bat!
Beef Heart
Said on the 27 August 2009
I would not buy this car now.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 27 August 2009
WHAT??!!1!!eleven! Someone casually alludes to a brutal rape/murder, and NOT ONE PERSON OBJECTS???? You are all sick! I mean what is the world coming to? I hope you are all punished!!!
Except for the person publishing the original comment of course, I’m, erm, I mean he is innocent….
dungeoneer
Said on the 27 August 2009
WTF would be the point of a site so you can have a good complain about shit adverts if we just sky+ ‘d everything! slagging stuff off is fun.
Clam
Said on the 29 August 2009
I am very proud of you all for getting this in the top ten where it belongs. As for it being the new Ambassador’s Reception – that was good because trying to be sophisticated and failing is funny. Trying to be cool, sexy and knowing and failing is not. Well not in this case anyway.
Archer
Said on the 31 August 2009
Oh my goodness. I go away for one week and it’s rape, murder and necrophilia all over the place. And this site used to be a bastion of good taste.
And the person who posted the original comment should be punished. But I’ve got a feeling he’d enjoy it too much.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 31 August 2009
Depends on how they are punished…. Just don’t make them do lines again….
Archer
Said on the 31 August 2009
That didn’t seem to work. I’m afraid I might have to resort to stricter measures…
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 31 August 2009
Hmmm…. Yep I am definately interested…..
picky
Said on the 31 August 2009
There is no letter a in the word definitely.
Archer
Said on the 31 August 2009
Tut tut. Another spelling mistake, Jellyfish. See me after class.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 1 September 2009
Yes Mistress Archer…. I am assuming the party submission position as you command….
Archer
Said on the 1 September 2009
Did I say you could address me by name?
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 1 September 2009
No, MistressSuzanne Lawson
Said on the 27 September 2009
So they have it in the French word for black? Those people are so annoying.
Josh
Said on the 30 September 2009
When she says “Fact me” what the salesman should actually be saying is:
“Well we take the regular 308 and up the price. It still drives like shit because the only thing we bother to add are electric windows and custom mats which you won’t see because you look forward when you drive, not down, yada yada”
“You give us 12 and a half k and we’ll give you 1 quid in change and don’t worry about speeding tickets because this piece of shit on wheels will only do 55 mph”
alex goulding
Said on the 10 October 2009
ugly, ugly car! what is the obsession of these huge headlights on new cars? peugeot haven’t made a ‘sexy’ car since the 106!
KittyKitty
Said on the 20 October 2009
How about we get the kid from the Glade advert to ditch Paul’s bathroom and try out the new Peugeot instead..
Tarquin Fintimblimwimlim Biscuit-Barrel
Said on the 20 October 2009
Would he then be going for a Poogeot…?
I’ll get me coat…
Jimmy
Said on the 25 December 2009
Cunts. Long live the 205 Gti ! – got 4 of them. The new Peugeots are shite. Design has really gone down the toilet
Rowena
Said on the 22 January 2010
No-ar? The French half of me just had a heart attack and died.
You would have thought they could have taught the guy how to pronounce “noir”. IT’S NOT HARD, DAMMIT!!!
Ad Hater 2.0
Said on the 22 January 2010
I just saw the new Peugeot 207 advert and I HATED it. What the fuck is with all the SINGING cars?!
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 23 January 2010
Fucking French. Why do we have a nuclear weapons if we aren’t going to use them on the deserving???
craig
Said on the 23 February 2010
i would love to bone that bird hard and give her change.what the fuck is yada yada!
EDDD
Said on the 21 March 2010
WTF with the perr-jo at the end????????????
This ad is so crap
The salesman guy is such a cokend but he makes it sound like he’s flogging a car to some poor sod that someone might actually like…
Whatever
Millie
Said on the 27 May 2010
On a ‘grab the remote quickest’ score of 1 to 10, this one rates at about 9.
Smug, irritating, pseudo-elitist, arrogant, supercilious garbage. As the Jaguar advert says, if you have to try to look as though you have presence, you probably never had it in the first place.
No amount of rabid, WAG posturing is going to make this . . . err, what car was this? Oh, thats right, a Peugeot sexy . . . about as erotic and slick as a penguin in moon boots!
David Sorell
Said on the 3 August 2010
Cunts
alice
Said on the 23 August 2010
custom mats…..? so what! and i hate the perrrrrrjo bit at the end and it annoys me SO MUCH how they are just flirting the whole time I know that’s the whole point of the advert but they should both just shut up and f*** off!
and FACT IS NOT A VERB lol
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