It’s a shit, cruel and wholly unfair world.

Disclaimer: Except not in my house and probably not in yours either. But, I assure you, everywhere else it’s shit and cruel and unfair - I’ve seen it on the tele.

People do terrible things to each other; they will use people, animals and, sometimes, the rain forest to manipulate us to get their own way or, worse still, their hands on our cash.

What a bunch of bastards.

But, I’ve got some good news for you: most people in the world aren’t like that. Most people are good, honest and friendly folk. In fact if you smile and say “hello” to someone on the street the chances are they will smile and say “hello” back to you (except in London Village, obviously, where they will cut your lips off so you can never smile again).

Go on, try it (except if you live in London Village, obviously).

And what’s more, most people are caring and sympathetic to others too.

But there is a line up to which you can physically care. Because if you really thought about all the *bad things* going on in the world, you’d never get out of bed in the morning. You lie there, under the duvet, sobbing into a pillow, all day and all of the night.

So we tend not to think about all the *bad things*, all the time, we just try and get on with our lives. This in itself doesn’t make us bad, it simply makes us human.

Here’s some shocking news, for you though: Advertisers for *good causes* know about this (Boo! Hiss!) and they also know about our guilt complex.

For, as normal caring folk, when we do think about the *bad things* we often feel guilty that we’re not doing more to help stop the *bad things*. We wish we could do more but we’ve got to pick the kids up from school at half three then Debbie from No 42 is coming over to look at the new carpet you’ve had put down in the bedroom. And you simply can’t help everyone, can you?

So, in a mawkish tone, the voice over on adverts for *good causes* tell us about the *bad things* and that for just 3 pounds a month we can help change the world.

Just 3 pounds. Come on, what’s 3 pounds to you? A glass of wine on a Friday night? 3 litres of fuel for your car? 300 penny chews for the kids (you’ll rot their teeth with those, you will). Go on, 3 pounds, you can afford it. Ring the number, ring the number. People/animals/the rain forest are/are/is dying. Ring the number, it’s just 3 pounds.

So you ring.

But then you see another advert and another.

Before you know it you’re giving 3 quarters of your income to *good causes* each month because someone at a charity has made you feel unnecessarily guilty about *something bad*.

What a bunch of bastards.

I suppose compared to some of the adverts for *good causes* out there, this one for Pedigree isn’t too manipulative (American version, I’m afraid):

Here’s the UK one with Neil Morrissey (for the love of God!).

But it still uses the classic “please help this charity or people/animals/the rain forest will die” tone of voice - pecking away at your emotions.

I just wish they could treat us as conscientious adults who are able to make decisions based on facts.

I do care, I do want to help, but there is a line - my personal line is I’m not prepare to talk to Picture to help others out.

Anyway, enough of a whinge about adverts for charity, I’m going back to bed to sob into a pillow for a bit longer…