Orange – Gigs and Tours
10 August 2007 by SilkyI, like everyone else, often wondered how the staff at the Early Learning Centre maintain their sanity.
They work in a shop where they are subjected to, not only the sound of mewling children, but to the 21st century’s version of Brian Cant singing some twee little plinky-plonky song about “ABC”s and “123″s from 9 until 5, Monday to Saturday, 10 to 4 on Sundays.
This particular form of torture is so grotesque and inhumane that it was outlawed in China in 1995.
It’s amazing that they don’t all run home from work at night and commit some of the most horrific hate crimes this country has ever seen (what a wonderful tribute to the good character of the ELC staff).
Over the last 6 months or so, when watching the TV, I’ve started to feel a little bit like an Early Learning Centre employee thanks to the jaw-dropping series of adverts with mind-numbingly twee sound tracks.
I’ve managed to block most of them from memory, so for the purposes of this blog post, let’s say that the T-Mobile Flex advert is year dot. And ever since we’ve been inundated with adverts in a similar style.
I picked Orange for the subject of this post for this advert:
In short, a terrible, tuneless, mumbling, twee advert that was clearly written by a 6 year old:
“I like music made by men with long hair.”
“Very good, Johnny; have a house point.”
What sort of moron judges music by the length of hair of the composer?
“Yes, I’m particularly partial to Metallica and Bob Marley but not so keen on Right Said Fred.”
(OK, bad example but you see my point.)
Just from thinking about the girl in the advert, oh, I can feel a hate crime coming on. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Maybe I’ll just pull the legs off a daddy long legs and be done with it.
Do you see what you’re doing Orange? Do you see?
Update
I’ve just seen another in this series of adverts, and frankly, I’m even more appalled. Not just at the tweeness of the whole affair, but at the terrible grammar:
“All that they need is me and a friend and the talking to go on and never to end.”
I think you’ll find that should be:
“All that they need is a friend and I…”
Honestly, what do they teach in schools these days?
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(21 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
6Responses:
PCWB
Said on the 11 August 2007
I have been waiting for you to have a go at this one Silky. It really is the most annoying pile of pap that I have heard since my friends arm got caught in a blender. The advert is that annoying that everytime I see it now I get an imaginary gun from behind the sofa and treat the whole scene as a shooting gallery hoping to silence the tuneless bint who’s caterwauling. Which focus group did they show this to – a bunch of pissed students that had just been out on the lash – terrible.
stevemosby
Said on the 15 August 2007
Sorry about this: you’re wrong about the grammar. “They need a friend and me” is correct. If you removed the friend from the sentence you’d be left with “They need me”. You wouldn’t say “They need I”, and “They need a friend and I” is just as wrong. Subject/object difference.
Shit ad, though.
Silky
Said on the 15 August 2007
Ah, if the Internet was made for two things it’s writing about terrible television adverts and discussing the finer points of English grammar….
You know, I was complaining more about the “me” before the “a friend” to be honest, but I’m still not convinced, Steve.
I can only think of 2 examples from modern usage (gosh, I sound like Fowler):
If you substituted “my wife” in place of “a friend” you would say “and I” rather than “and me” (unless you’re on Eastenders (but then you would also say “the missus” rather than “my wife”)).
Er, and “It is I, Leclerc” from ‘Allo ‘Allo (I like to think that no discussion is complete without a reference from ‘Allo ‘Allo).
Though you are right, I would never say “They need I”. So maybe they didn’t teach me nothing at school neither.
stevemosby
Said on the 15 August 2007
Well, it seems churlish to argue with ‘Allo ‘Allo, but Leclerc is wrong too.
You’d say “my wife and I” if they were doing something, but you’d say “my wife and me” if something was being done to them. Same as you’d say “She and I bought something” but then “The something was bought by me and her”. ‘I’ becomes ‘me’ the same way ’she’ becomes ‘her’. Subject becomes object. It’s only wrong if you say “My wife and me did something”.
I apologise for bringing this up. I’m now going to go away and link to your site, because it’s ace.
Silky
Said on the 16 August 2007
Cheers, Steve. I bow to your greater knowledge here
Glad you like the site too.
Lee
Said on the 5 September 2007
Not as bad as the reserve tank one.
I’ve got to admit I didn’t know who this advert was for though (effective advertising?) as I usually get bored with them after 10 seconds and start talking or turn over or something.
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