Orange – Animal Balloons

24 March 2008 by Silky

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve got a dog.

Just as millions of people have done before us with their dogs, when it’s time for him to go for a walk we say “Walkies!” to him.

I tried to convince my wife that when it was time for him to do his business we should say “Shities!”.

But she vetoed it. We say “Toilet!” instead.

So once in the morning and once at night I stand in the back garden shouting “Toilet! Toilet!” to my dog and to all my neighbours as well.

I’ve even rewritten the rules of English grammar and say “Do Toilet! Do Toilet!” hoping that the crime against syntax will make him piss his little furry pants.

But rarely does it make any difference and I’m stood there jibbering like a fool “Toilet! Toilet! Come on, do toilet!”.

I find it terribly embarrassing.

Yet not as embarrassing as the situation I found myself in the other day…

My mobile contract with Orange is due for renewal. So I popped along to the shop to check out their deals.

“Have you got anything better?” I asked.
“What animal plan are you?” She asked me back.

A shiver went down my spine. My face screwed up like I was chewing a bumble bee that had just eaten a lemon.

“I’m a…”

Just. Can’t. Say. It.

“I’m a Racoon!”:

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Just How Bad is this Ad?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (9 votes, average: 4.44 out of 5)

15Responses:

  • Said on the 25 March 2008

    Having worked on orange as they were releasing these plans, racoon was previously ‘monkey’ but they thought that might offend people, telling them that they’re monkeys…
    They’ve really lost their way with this animal stuff.

  • Said on the 25 March 2008

    Ornage?

  • Said on the 25 March 2008

    Cheers for that, snooks.

    I’ve fixed it now ;)

  • Said on the 25 March 2008

    I think the twee music and absurdly ‘down-home’ Scottish accent of the narrator are the most lamentable aspects of this ad. It’s not quite as awful as the ‘good things should never end’ on with the coloured ribbons. A sub-standard Bravia rip-off if ever there were one.

  • Said on the 26 March 2008

    Its a shame they didnt decide on names like “SHARK” or “LION”. That something to be proud of!!

  • Said on the 26 March 2008

    Agreed Chris it needs better names, how about DONKEY, WOMBAT, SLOTH, JELLYFISH, GANNET, things that reflect the personality of its users. On another point, not this ad but the earlier ‘good things should never end’ one, was the young woman in the ad trying to portray someone with special needs? It was in poor taste if she was.

  • Said on the 31 March 2008

    If that balloon in the advert is a panther then I’m an aardvark’s adopted nephew. It reminds me of Arnie getting his Ace Rimmer training in Red Dwarf. “You are a cougar. BE the cougar”. Cue hamster in a wheel.
    Think I might give O2 a call – they only rip you off. They don’t try humiliating you too.

    Jeff, was Monkey dropped because PG tips had already rescued him from the wreckage of ITV digital? And just imagine a big orange Johnny Vegas balloon.

  • Said on the 7 May 2008

    Whats with advertisers and shitty hippy indie themes?

  • Said on the 12 August 2008

    shitty hippy indie themes?
    what are you on about
    this advert iscool
    and has nothing to do with hippy, or indie themes at all

  • Said on the 24 September 2009

    And here I find my Balloons.. Do Orange have a “Jellyfish” plan?

  • Said on the 25 September 2009

    I think I’ve got that plan on my phone. You get a really good service with it. A really, really good service.

  • Said on the 25 September 2009

    What extras come with it?

  • Said on the 25 September 2009

    I find the handsfree kit comes in verrrrry useful.

  • Said on the 25 September 2009

    Cool… It’s good when you can reach out and touch somebody….

  • Said on the 21 December 2009

    FUCKING ORANGE ARE USELESS COCKSUCKING WHORE MONGERS. THEY DESERVE TO BE CASTRATED AND RAPED BY MUTANT CAMELS. TWATS.

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