I thought that after Mitchell and Webb parodied the toothbrush design meeting (what with M&W being as ubiquitous as Little Britain but slightly less trashy) that toothbrush manufacturers and advertisers might have got the message.

As the woman from M&W laments:

“We may have run out of things to tell them they need on their toothbrush.”

But, alas they have not, at least Oral B hasn’t.

They suffer from the same issue that Stanley had with their Stanley Knife: it’s pretty much perfect and everyone has one. So how do they sell more?

Innovation, innovation, innovation.

Oral B decided to make a couple of bits go up and down and add a few bits that go between your teeth:

(Apologies, for it being an Italian version but it does still include the brushing “dramatisation” and here’s a link to an English version.)

Oral B’s marketing department decided that this new innovation should be called “Pulsar” (ooh, manly). No longer do we poor saps simply have to brush our teeth while our brush does little to help. No, now our brush will forever be more pro-active and send “pulses” through our filthy gobs to shed our gnashers of heinous plaque.

Cor! A toothbrush with a pulse, what could be better? Because the whole world has a pulse, so why not a toothbrush?

Well maybe because the whole tossing world doesn’t have a pulse.

The tree opposite my house, doesn’t have a pulse. The stone my dog just ate, doesn’t have a pulse. The turd I just flushed into the North Sea, doesn’t have a pulse.

In fact, on that theme, why not say:

“The whole world does shit; now so does a toothbrush”?

To claim that the changing the shape of some bristles is “Changing the way you brush forever” is ludicrous. And innovation for the sake of driving sales then trying to con us into thinking it will make us more attractive (cue shot of attractive female) goes to show how idiotic Oral B think we all are, wouldn’t you say?

Oh well, here’s the Mitchell and Webb sketch to make us feel a little bit saner again:

Thanks to Mark Mclaughlin for submitting this bad ad.