Oasis - The Cactus Kid - Pregnant

11 July 2008 by Silky

As a parent you always try to do the best by your children:

You make sure they’ve got shoes on their feet.
You make sure they know the facts of life.
You make sure they don’t date flora.

The mother in the new Oasis advert appears to have failed her daughter on all three of these points.

Because not only is the poor (and seemingly only 14 years old) girl up the duff, she’s in that state thanks to a man who’s half cactus. And what’s more, she seems to have burnt the soles of her feet during the whole “having sex with a man who looks like he has a very prickly penis” affair.

She does look to have recovered from the coitus fairly well though because one would imagine that ramming a cactus up your vagina and having sun burnt feet would make you walk like John Wayne giving Fern Britton a piggy-back.

Spare a thought for the old Cactus Kid though, will you?

He can’t have had much luck with the ladies growing up covered in spines. Finally finding a consenting partner (lets not even go down the possible cactus man on under-age girl rape route) must have been like all his Christmases coming at once.

Although I can think of one positive of being a cactus man - no post coital snuggling. As the women hobbles off to casualty, you just roll over and drift happily off to sleep.

What bliss.

But just as the mother in this advert has failed her daughter so it seems the ad-makers have failed their botany exams.

For the only explanation (that come within a couple of thousand light years of being logical) for the Cactus Kid to actually be half cactus is to tie in with the tag line “For people who don’t like water”. Except cactuses don’t don’t like water, it’s just they can grow in a dry environment. It’s clearly not the same thing.

God, I bet they feel foolish now I’ve pointed out that flaw in their lunacy.

Anyway while you wait for the final part of this series in which the pain of child birth is compounded by the fact the baby is covered in prickles, here’s the madness of the first part to enjoy:

Just How Bad is this Ad?

33 Votes

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14Responses:

Dave

July 12th, 2008 9:38 am

Is this a spoof? If it isn’t there are some very disturbed people in advertising.
Hannah

July 12th, 2008 1:31 pm

Only a few hours ago I watched this and questioned why it’s still being shown and yet the Heinz ad was pulled! Surely the content of this ad is damaging on more levels than that of two men having a kiss?! I like the way it’s shot though…
David Parry

July 12th, 2008 10:19 pm

Take a look at Terrence Malick’s brilliant first film Badlands starring Sissy Spacek and Martin Sheen if you want to know where the spoof comes from. A cult classic from 1973.
Silky

July 13th, 2008 1:00 pm

Have you seen the film with Martin Sheen’s brother, Barry, in it called Brooklands? Now that’s a classic.

What a lovely film to spoof for a soft drink advert.
Woody

July 13th, 2008 1:40 pm

I think this is one of the best adverts on TV at the moment. What a classic! CanÂ´t wait for the other instalments.
Crimewave

July 13th, 2008 11:08 pm

Possibly drugs were involved in the process of this ad. Many companies seem to be going with the “wtf” aspect these days
Crimewave

July 13th, 2008 11:11 pm

Oh okay didnt read the above comments. I doubt all of the public is going to get the reference to a film from ‘73. Just saying.
Silky

July 14th, 2008 11:38 am

Here’s the official line on the inspiration for the advert from the Coca-Cola Great Britain Web site:

“Shot in Mexico in the style of a classic American road movie, the TV ads are reminiscent of films including Rebel Without a Cause, True Romance, Bad Lands and Thelma & Louise.”

It doesn’t mention Brooklands though. Strange.
Paris

July 18th, 2008 8:31 pm

i dont understand the sunburned feet part
can someone explain?
Crimewave

July 18th, 2008 9:49 pm

I think its cos she has her legs in the air all the time?? If she is knocked up…

Dirty bitch!!
Bex

July 23rd, 2008 8:14 pm

I don’t understand how they can say that Oasis can replace water..thats like saying, if you don’t like fruit, have a Cadbury’s fruit and nut bar! Saying that, I do drink Oasis and I’m not mad on water…
Cathryn

August 12th, 2008 10:48 am

right i don’t get it! one why is he ”The Cactus Kid”?
and ehy does she always have sun burn on her feet?
peopleeee explain!
mind i do love oasis
tigerstail

August 23rd, 2008 10:37 pm

Badlands homage apart,isn’t statutory rape an issue here.
Paedo prick (pun intended)
Bookmarks about Botany

August 25th, 2008 6:00 pm

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