Norwich Union Change Their Name To Aviva
7 January 2009 by SilkySometimes you have to change your name because your parents are racists.
Sometimes you have to change your name because your parents are morons.
Sometimes you have to change your name because you’re a moron.
And sometimes you have to change your name because you’ve been swallowed by a multinational insurance giant who hasn’t got a clue where in Hell Norwich is:
Yes this is the new Norwich Union advert featuring a galaxy of stars who have changed their names, you know, just like Norwich Union is doing.
But there’s something slightly odd about the stars they’ve selected – their name changes are just a bit on the naff side.
OK, I grant you, no one would frantically masturbate over a picture of rancid old bum-faced Eleanor Gow. But as soon as her mother remarried and she changed her name to McPherson – ding dong! Fire up the laminater; I’m of to the 5 digit disco! What does it matter that she was only 14? After all, if there’s grass on the wicket…
But who in their right mind would ever change their name from Walter to Bruce? Maybe only someone who’s middle name is already Bruce.
Or change their name from Vincent to Alice? Maybe only someone looking for a stage gimmick?
And who would change the name “Norwich Union” to “Aviva”? Maybe only someone who thought “Consignia” was a good idea.
But, you know what it’s like, sometimes a change of name is more than a change of name. Sometimes it’s a chance to show the world who you’ve always wanted to be.
So it seems Norwich Union have always wanted to be a mispronounced Vic Reeves catch phrase then.
Maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe the name change will work out for Aviva and 200 years worth of brand recognition and trust wont be destroyed in one ridiculous palindrome. But there’s definitely no need to be so portentous about it all particularly when you’re advert features someone who changed their name because “they wore a lot of rings“.
Anyway enough of this nonsense, I’m off to eat a peanut, nougat and caramel chocolate bar then fight the 7 signs of ageing and give my kitchen a bloody good clean.
Ta ta.
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(33 votes, average: 3.58 out of 5)
63Responses:
Hannah
Said on the 7 January 2009
I live in Norwich and I don’t even know where Norwich is!
ali
Said on the 8 January 2009
If you do ever go to Norwich, remember to visit the mustard shop…
Hannah
Said on the 8 January 2009
YES! And also the Cathedral. Where you can still get scones wrapped in cling film.
jim
Said on the 8 January 2009
Would any of this have happened to me if I hadn’t hitched myself to three musicians with talent ? Well Starkey ?
R E Krishna
Said on the 9 January 2009
So if I change my name to say….Bill Gates, then surely I can expect fabulous wealth, success etc.
Well what are we all waiting for????
Ian
Said on the 13 January 2009
This avdert is so bad. What a waste of money for the company. How much did it cost them to hire all those celebrities?
And in the current economic climate as well…
Anyway, enough melodrama – advert sucks, the end
dingers mate wing wang!
Said on the 13 January 2009
Who gives a monkeys testicle served up with a modest helping of foamed jizz courtesy of Heston Blumenthal
IGGY
Said on the 16 January 2009
Anyone know the name of the Alice Cooper Track?
aviva employee
Said on the 27 January 2009
i work for norwich union/aviva and i know that this ad cost them 9 million pounds… this is particularly upsetting to me as i and several thousand of my colleagues are being made redundant this year due to ‘cutbacks and streamlining’ by aviva!!
Stacey
Said on the 28 January 2009
Ouch, 9mill? Jeeze that’s bad =[
Nim
Said on the 2 February 2009
What I find most startling about this advert is Ringo Starr’s deluded claim that The Beatles would not have been a success if their drummer had used his original name of Richard. Despite the fact that, you know, his three much more talented bandmates kept their fairly mundane names of John, Paul and George.
Ian
Said on the 3 February 2009
However if he kept the name Richard people might have called him the dick of the band…
Stacey
Said on the 3 February 2009
Haaha thats funny. At least none of yous have a granddad called Richard Head = | Maybe he should change his name.
ali
Said on the 3 February 2009
stacey – possibly. not to aviva though.. that would be even more embarrassing.
Steve
Said on the 17 February 2009
No wonder we are all losing our jobs! With these pathetic adverts! I’m so glad I wasted time working for these guys…
Paul
Said on the 15 March 2009
What a dire advert, it doesn’t look like it cost £9M, it just looks cheap & nasty and the Aviva “tune” is as bland, generic and annoying as the new name. I wonder if the tune is as “clever” a palindrome as Aviva?
Aviva Employee #2
Said on the 16 March 2009
The ad was expensive – but nowhere near the 9 million mentioned. Aviva are embarking on a 6 month promotional campaign leading up to the name change, featuring more adverts than you can shake a stick at.
Oh, and there aren’t THOUSANDS of redundancies, either…
aviva employee 3
Said on the 27 March 2009
Ridiculous comments, in a time of turbulence Aviva are demonstrating their power by being able to afford this whilst helping their customers. It cost nowhere near £9m and ‘Silky’ should spend more timewasting elsewhere
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 27 March 2009
“demonstrating their power”
Bollocks
Covert tool
Said on the 27 March 2009
‘Bollocks’ Intelligent work, keep it up
Silky
Said on the 27 March 2009
You Aviva bitches really know how to make a girl cry…
Archer
Said on the 28 March 2009
Is it just me, or does the claim that an organization is going to ‘demonstrate its power’ in a ‘time of turbulence’ sound a bit like it should be said in German in the 1930s?
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 29 March 2009
Thanks Tool, I was going to write an essay, complete with graphs, charts, apendix, and even a bibliography, but I felt that a simple statment of conclusion would be both succinct and, more importantly to the point, I’m glad you appreciate the hard work that made up my comment, and look forward to your praise in the future.
Aviva Governor
Said on the 29 March 2009
The campaign is easily in double figures – the “cost” of an advert is irrelevant, it’s the cost of getting that advert across the media outlets that matters. And that is well over 10 Mio.
fishbonealic
Said on the 31 March 2009
All i wish to ask is this: could Ringo/ Richard Starr /Starkey do anything more to tarnish (what little) reputation he had? From the man who wasn’t even the best drummer in the Beatles to a complete tool. Nice progression.
GGeary
Said on the 2 April 2009
Covert tool – well not such ‘Intelligent work’ with their investments – i have a policy that wont pay out what they ‘promised !!! ‘
angry essex
Said on the 2 April 2009
i cant understand how a company can spen £££ on a stupid name change when many of their customers face a short fall in endowment policy pay out !
this is so irresponsible…daft …and a wast of money that should go else where
Ianto
Said on the 18 April 2009
The Alice Cooper track on the Aviva advert is “Is it my body” on the Greatest Hits album
Steven
Said on the 22 April 2009
There’s a new Aviva advert where Mr. Richard Starkey grumps and says “Don’t call me by my stage name” Only, in the last advert he was extolling the virtues of it…
So by this logic, Aviva are saying we’ve changed our name ‘to show who we really are’, but actually in private we fucking hate it and it was purely for promotional reasons, so just call us Norwich Union in person, ok?
sammy
Said on the 25 April 2009
I used to work for NU/Aviva but gave up after many years because all the execs in charge didnt have a clue about what the company was about (recruited off the golf course you see). So you have a dozen or more morons all pulling in different directions. That and all the ‘accelerated career’ graduate dipshits that wouldnt know a customer from their arsehole. Its no wonder all the good people have quit.
This advert is a classic example. Ditch 200+ years of brand for an off the shelf name. Thats classy!
Wrong
Said on the 28 May 2009
I like the site in general but you can’t say things like this: “I’m of to the 5 digit disco! What does it matter that she was only 14? After all, if there’s grass on the wicket…”
It’s sick.
Silky
Said on the 28 May 2009
It’s irony.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 28 May 2009
Actually Wrong you can, ‘cos you just did.
R E Krishna
Said on the 1 June 2009
First there was “Would all this have happened to me if I hadn’t changed my name to Ringo?” Now there’s ” Don’t call me by my stage name.” MAKE YOUR FUCKING MIND UP MAN!!!
Hannah
Said on the 1 June 2009
Isn’t it infuriating?! It’s not even something the general public can identify with. I can’t remember the last time I rang a call centre and was annoyed that they’d called me by my stage name….
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 1 June 2009
Why the hell did they announce this name change in JANUARY?! I’m sick of seeing the “soon to be Aviva” crap on my screen everytime!
aviva employee redundant soon
Said on the 2 June 2009
hate to say it to other aviva employees but the adverts did infact cost around 9 mil. and it even says it on your own intranet site. and yes there were thousands of redundancies. perth, norwich, leicester and other branches all made cutbacks. im one of them and im not gonna lie by not saying the facts.
they thought this advert was worth our jobs – its crap
GreenGreenGoggles
Said on the 6 June 2009
you are sad, sad people!
i like it:(
walter
Said on the 17 June 2009
why are some of you scumbags so jealous of ringo, sorry ritchie? i bet you are all dingle residents that are good for nothing
rik o shea
Said on the 17 June 2009
a viva was a shit car just like your shit company.
rik o shea
Said on the 17 June 2009
youve spelt it wrong , it should be avulva ,now dont go getting in a flap, i thought of it first.
rik o shea
Said on the 18 June 2009
avulva are now offering beef curtain cover as an option, contact us for a quote.
Sara
Said on the 26 June 2009
“I used to work for NU/Aviva but gave up after many years because all the execs in charge didnt have a clue about what the company was about (recruited off the golf course you see). So you have a dozen or more morons all pulling in different directions. That and all the ‘accelerated career’ graduate dipshits that wouldnt know a customer from their arsehole. Its no wonder all the good people have quit.”
My thoughts exactly.
geoff knight
Said on the 22 July 2009
Vauxhall used to make a car called A VIVA.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 22 July 2009
I forgot about those…. I would have thought they’d all be piles of rust by now…. I don’t think we give our forebears the credit they are due, driving round in a thin tin box, fragile glass that will shatter into sharp face cutting shards if you sneeze against it, no power steering, no airbags, no seatbelts, brakes made by Weetabix, electrics fitted by a skills centre reject, a petrol tank that holds about 9,000,000 litres because they measured miles per gallon back then, and you were lucky if you got 15 MPG in an entry level saloon. They were brave in the 60s, brave or stoned.
james
Said on the 26 July 2009
I’m glad people on this site know what they are talking about and know the true reality of this company. Just look at their track record as Norwich Union, theri pay out on endowments and how they’ve gobbled up share holders money as share prices have tumbled.
Nibor
Said on the 14 August 2009
The funniest thing i think about these ads is that they have Ringo in one says he’d never have been so famous without his stage name. Then in another advert soon after and also overlapping (screening wise) he says “Don’t call me by my stage name!” As it has him turning up at an airport in some asian country presumably with an asian guy waiting with RINGO written on the type of sign people hold up at airports if they’re your chauffeur.
Smithery Baggins
Said on the 16 August 2009
Didn’t you just love the old Norwich Union ads with a 1st person perspective of some idiot called happy…no, me neither. HAPPY? Why the fuck was he called that? I know their slogan was ‘quote me happy’ (possibly the worst slogan ever) but I don’t see the logic. The worst thing though is they were actually trying to be funny, which they were…if you are a complete moron.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 20 August 2009
Fucking Bastards. How dare they destroy Paul Whitehouse? Poor Paul, first he has a queue of kids trying to take a shit in his bog, now his sole has been bought by Satan… In’t Aviva Brilliant!!
Archer
Said on the 20 August 2009
His what? His sole? That wouldn’t be a spelling mistake, would it?
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 21 August 2009
Nah, he sold his sole to Satan…. He lost he Soul in the seventies in a rigged game of spin the bottle….
Nibor
Said on the 23 August 2009
I quite liked the new one where he’s some goth thing going on about his bargains. Sorta goth/that everythings brilliant guy from the fast show.
dungeoneer
Said on the 24 August 2009
oh my god, the Paul Whitehouse adverts are soooo freeky! he looks horrible.
I workfor Norwich Union / Aviva but the name change doesnt effect me cos i deal with Abbey, Barclays, Co-op etc all the companies that dont want to be associated with Norwich Union but you guessed all their policies are our bitches. Fuck em i hate deception – names mean nothing!
dungeoneer
Said on the 24 August 2009
…unless your the guy on Dragon’s den who invented the ‘thingy’…. what a cock.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 18 September 2009
In’t MILK brilliant??
Always puts a smile on my face
Mike
Said on the 24 September 2009
AVIVA – could be confused with train company ARRIVA or the hair company AVEDA or even the drug company AVENTIS. How funny ….. ‘ Norwich Union ‘ was easily memorable, a solid company and a good 200 year reputation. Typical Corporate identity crisis. A marketing cock up instigated by a need to shed jobs and a belief that it could be concealed in the expensive razzmatazz of a brand relaunch!…….I don’t think the average consumer is impressed by the exercise.
qwidge
Said on the 24 September 2009
I’d be impressed by Bruce Willis doing some exercises…can i request that?
Suzanne Lawson
Said on the 27 September 2009
I wouldn’t join a bank that wastes this much money on advertising.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 28 September 2009
But would you buy insurance from them???
Simon
Said on the 10 October 2009
Well said, Mike. I won;t be using a company which dumps 200 years of UK identity to spend £10 million on changing a well known British name to ‘AVIVA’. My mate takes the pee every day by saying he doesn’t want to insure A vauxhall Aviva/ What an idiot who could let this idea slip through all the nets. They should be ashamed, and so am I, seeing i’m still insured by them unitl this second- yes- the co-incidence is, my car insurance spired at 0:00 tonight!
Deepthroat
Said on the 14 January 2010
The main reason they dropped the Norwich Union name was so they could be free to shut down the major Norwich operation.
Doesnt look good for a firm to move out and abandon a place they are named after.
Aviva though…means jack shit so it’s ok.
The Norwich offices will mainly be gone in a couple of years.
Pisscunt
Said on the 13 July 2010
http://tvs-worst-adverts.co.uk/norwich-union-change-their-name-to-aviva/
Pisscunt2
Said on the 16 July 2010
http://tvs-worst-adverts.co.uk/norwich-union-change-their-name-to-aviva/
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