I love Simon Pegg.

Not in a sexual way, of course. Or do I? No. No I don’t.

No, I love Simon Pegg thanks to Spaced. I don’t think that I could ever get bored watching Mike dance in the night club, or the look on Brian’s face when Marsha, fag in hand, says “Hello Brian” in her sordid secret way. And these joys in my life as a couch potato are all thanks to Simon Pegg.

I suppose for the sake of slightly more factual correctness they’re all thanks to Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevenson and Edgar Wright. And I probably prefer Mike to Tim, like I’d prefer a goofy Han Solo to a cooler Luke Skywalker.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is I’ve really liked Simon Pegg ever since Spaced. Phew… Got there in the end.

So I was pretty disappointed to see him selling himself on Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Giveaway last night. Yes, yes, you have a new film to promote, but on Ant & Dec?

Oh, the shame.

I love Nicole Kidman. I’ve always loved her. In a sexual way.

In fact, my wife has agreed that I’m allowed to leave her for Nicole should the opportunity ever arise. (”Damn you Keith Urban!”)

So I was pretty disappointed when I saw her selling herself in the Nintendo DS advert:

Oh, the shame.

I have to hide behind the settee every time she’s says:

“52!?”

Of course, never having played the game before, I have no idea what “Your brain score is 52″ actually means either. It might as well say “Your brain score is Terry Christian” or “Your brain score is bungalow”. In fact, I think it would be better if Nicole had to say:

“Bungalow!?”

Now, that would be something to be ashamed of.