Nicorette Inhalator

10 June 2008 by Silky

After banning smoking in public places last year the Government is on the anti-smoking warpath again. This time they’re determined to stop children taking up the filthy habit and, in the process, to ruin the NHS for us all.

Their plan of attack includes an excellent TV advert (you know, the one featuring the “I’m the King of the Swingers” sound track but sadly no smoking monkeys) and proposing the removal of all branding from cigarette boxes.

Some have criticized the idea of unbranded cigarette packets as madness and another infringement on our personal freedoms. A spokesman from the smokers’ lobby group “Coughing Up Blood” wheezed:

“My granddad said the only thing that got him through the Normandy landings was chain smoking the cigarettes he stole form bodies of his comrades strewn across the beaches of France and again later from the mortuary.

This proposal goes against everything he fought for.”

But, even considering the convincing arguments against the proposals, I’m with the Government on this one.

After all which do children like more comic books – with all those pictures and words and stuff – or sheets of plain paper?

Answer me that, will you?

And what do kids buy more of, Miley Cyrus albums – with those dirty pictures of her back – or blank CD-Rs – that contain absolutely no nude back pictures at all?

Yep, categorical proof that kids like stuff with pictures, words and recordings of cats having their claws pulled out on it.

Anyways, forget all that, I have a better plan to put kids off the idea of smoking – make all cigarettes look like the Nicorette Inhalator.

Because if by making smoking a cigarette look like you’re sucking a lit tampon doesn’t reduce the numbers of smokers then nothing will.

And I say while we’re at it go the whole hog, design them so you can only stick one in your gob by using an unwieldy plastic applicator, ooh, and put the little bit of string on the end too.

I think it’s fair to say that most people would rather walk round with massive blobs of blue ink in the corner of their mouths then suck on a tampon – even if it was in a designated tampon sucking area.

The only down side I can see to my plan is that there could be an increase in the number of vaginal burns amongst absent minded female smokers but I think it’s a risk worth taking.

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Just How Bad is this Ad?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (11 votes, average: 3.36 out of 5)

5Responses:

  • Said on the 10 June 2008

    Yeah the music does my head in too,

  • Said on the 11 June 2008

    hahaha, little bit of wee came out when I read about your tampon idea. I agree 100% – write off to the government and make it policy!!

  • Said on the 11 June 2008

    Ha! someone else who thinks the Nicorette thing looks like a tampon. thats the first thing i thought of when i saw the advet. lmao!

  • Said on the 11 June 2008

    Some sick people ’round here. The only thing that looks like a tampon to me is a tampon. Thank God Freud was only interested in cigars is what I say.

    However, does anyone else think that the advert for a sanitary towel holder and the dog’s bum is worth a submission to Submit a Bad Ad?

  • Said on the 28 December 2008

    It ain’t fucking difficult just add a healthcare tax to each and every pack of fags say a quid a packet rising in line with zimbabwean inflation and people have still have a choice.. pay the tax or quit… you say you personal freedoms are infringed.. ok.. I should be allowed to push you under a fucking bus the fact that the law says I’m not allowed to is an infringement of my personal right to help society in the best way I know how….

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