Nescafe Nespresso – George Clooney – What Else?
29 December 2008 by SilkyYou know what it’s like – you’ve had a hard day writing, directing and starring in your latest high-minded, holier-than-thou tirade against a social injustice – or Ocean’s 14, to give it its proper title – and you’re really, really gagging for a Nespresso.
Well, as luck has it, you’re just round the corner of your local Nespresso shop. What are the chances?
Ahh, browsing rack after rack of your favourite Nespresso capsule blends is truly one of the last bastions of humanity, isn’t it?
Just one problem; the shop’s full of beautiful, yet sycophantic, women. Will these damned sauce-pots not just leave you alone to enjoy the art of the espresso?
That’s life though, I suppose!
Yes, this is Sir George Clooney starring in the latest Nescafe Nespresso advert – what else?
And seeing as George is the most intelligent, sophisticated and charming whore-bag working in Hollywod today it seems natural that Nespresso has saddled him up, mounted him and whipped his bare buttocks with the giant greenback riding crop in the hope that some of our George-lust will rub off on their coffee machines – although not literally, of course.
That’s a latte noone wants to drink.
A great plan, I think you’ll agree, except for the the fact that Nespresso machines are as sophisticated as an evening of Lambrini fuelled jelly wrestling round at Kerry Katona’s house.
Or maybe slightly less cruelly, Nespresso machanies are the coffee equivalent of a box of wine. Yes, it looks like wine – except it’s coffee – and it tastes like wine – except it’s coffee – but the only people who would willingly have one on their kitchen worktop are aspirational chavs.
Anyways, I fancied a bit of chav coffee quaffing action, Cloonster style, so I popped down to my local Whittard Of Chelsea shop but all the windows were boarded up and instead of a hoard of extremely attractive women there was just a piss soaked tramp asleep in the doorway.
That’s life though, I suppose.
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(17 votes, average: 4.29 out of 5)
9Responses:
Aspirational Chav
Said on the 31 December 2008
Oi, those machines are like, well cool, innit.
(is that how chavs speak nowadays?)
Anyway, chavs can’t afford the EXTORTIONATE price of the capsules. 50p for a coffee and you still have to froth your own milk?!
Hannah
Said on the 31 December 2008
I’ve set up a group on Facebook called ‘Shame on George Clooney’.
Couldn’t ruddy believe it when I saw the ad. What a twat. He am a twat…
Ian
Said on the 2 January 2009
There’s something about the phrase “froth your own milk” that comes across as vaguely sexual…
Al
Said on the 5 January 2009
And what is with the “Sir” George Clooney? As far as I can see it there are only two options:
1. They blew all their money on “Sir” George and couldn’t afford a writer who makes sense.
2. They blew all their money on “Sir” George and couldn’t afford to re-record and redub a z-list actress/model’s single fluffed line.
If you believe all the guff on this page:
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=958564&page=2
then apparently she is saying “Mr” George Clooney, but even if this is the case even someone with only half and ear could tell it did not come out that way and needed to be re-done.
Very lazy.
P.S. Who else thinks thomasBG from Sofia on the above page is not working for Nescafe?
John Thomson
Said on the 5 January 2009
Didn’t George advertise some other ghastly product a few years ago. Campari maybe? Either way he’s obviously got bills to pay. Probably for the upkeep of his new beard. Or his motor boat on Lake Como.
I don’t find the ad that annoying actually. What I would love to know is what is a Nespresso. I’ve never seen one for sale anywhere? Only those Tasimo jobbies and something called a Dolce Gusto – which I also thought was made by Nescafe. I’m rambling now. I’ll just go an put the kettle on….
jim
Said on the 8 January 2009
OK so the first time there’s only one capsule left,but the second time there’s plenty,so why does he still blank the girl ? That’s just plain rude.Or (whisper it gently) is Mr Clooney on the other bus ?
jim
Said on the 8 January 2009
WTF happened ? just ignore all the 20%s
farndale
Said on the 7 April 2009
Looove all nespresso ads with clooney and thus will write my course work on endorsement in advertising on it!
Anne Smith
Said on the 31 May 2009
Have actually met women who bought the machine because they loved the adverts – so they achieved what they were meant to achieve – good for them!
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