Natwest – MoneySense
24 January 2009 by SilkyJust when you thought the banks couldn’t get any cuntier along comes the new Natwest advert:
But they’re not there to sell, oh no, they’re there to give you free, impartial financial guidance:
We pissed your money up the wall for the last decade so now you can’t have pudding any more.
Sorry.
Oh, one more thing: we’re going to have to sleep with your wife or we’re cancelling your overdraft.
Credit crunch on that, Fatso.
Fuckers.
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(24 votes, average: 4.54 out of 5)
63Responses:
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 24 January 2009
I saw this advert and laughed my cock off… who the fuck are they trying to kid?
Pavlovs Cat
Said on the 25 January 2009
” We have a thousand money sense advisors in branches” you could have done with a few in your fucking board room for a start.
Really, everytime an advert for a bank comes on these days, I can’t stop myself screaming “CUUUUUNTS” at the screen, the family are getting quite worried.
Do they really think we are that stupid to ever trust what one of these fuckers ever tells us again.
Being a bank manager used to make you a pillar of the community, now they rank along with Paedo’s , MP’s , Tabloid jounalists and Estate agents
CUUUNTS the lot of them
( remember of course, it’s our money that’s paying for these adverts , as they have got fuck all themselves left )
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 25 January 2009
That’s hardly fair… It’s more to do with the government promising uneducated morons the same pay as someone who went to college and got an education… You promise everyone minimum wage even if they aren’t worth it, and a few years later you’re going to have problems… And let’s face it only “CUUUNTS” run up huge amounts of credit without making sure they can pay for it….
Gordon
Said on the 26 January 2009
When I want the most basic of financial advice from an innumerate, dim-witted and rude child, I will go into my bank and ask for it (and on that day it will be decidedly chilly in hell).
I really can’t believe that NatWest are promising it as a matter of course. Maybe it’s a clever ploy to encourage us to stay out of the branches so that they can save costs and shut them all.
Patronising wankers the lot of them.
I agree with the last comments too. If I had played such a large part in the damage done to the world economy, I’d shut the fuck up. Most of their past advice has been self serving encouragement to enter into unreasonable and dangerous borrowing; so why should it be any more trustworthy now?
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 26 January 2009
“Maybe it’s a clever ploy to encourage us to stay out of the branches so that they can save costs and shut them all.”
lol lol lol
Johnny Venture
Said on the 26 January 2009
I half expect one of the poor saps to say “Have you ever thought of putting your money under your mattress rather than a saving account. You’ll earn more interest”
Dreadful advert that is patronising in the extreme. Most of the advice they give is common sense and all the other “tips” can be found on the web anyway. Grim. I like the description “cuntier” though. Well put.
ali
Said on the 29 January 2009
Gordon – haven’t you got a country to run?!
good points though..
Gordon
Said on the 30 January 2009
Ali – You are of course right, but you know me – a light hearted, laugh a minute kind of guy – I like to get down with the real people and ‘ave a bit of a larf.
If it wasn’t for those pesky banks…. I’d have got away with it….
miike
Said on the 29 March 2009
Pavlovos cat
pavlovos they are in no way comparable to paedos
I agree these people are true cunts the cheek of them offering advice is just amazing even for these fuckers
but the fake looks on their facesas they are filming these makes you sick
Looks like a harry enfield piss take,that will be 5,000 for the lapshade just leave your credit card now fuck off
miike
Said on the 29 March 2009
pavlovs meant to say
Joanna Butler
Said on the 13 June 2009
I hate these patronising wank adverts, people going to the bank to chat in suit and tie and twinset and pearls? no people don’t do that anymore?!?!?!??!?!
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 13 June 2009
I fucking hate the Natwest adverts! They go on for too long and are so boring to sit through. I don’t care if you have mobile banks to those who don’t have a Natwest branch.
Those two women who talk nonsense really irritate me. Record is 187 customers? WHO CARES?! I really don’t give a monkeys if you serve 200.
Also, if I wanted to get a mortgage, loan or whatever, I’d do it in a BANK! I’m not gonna do it in some van in the middle of nowhere.
Nick
Said on the 20 June 2009
Presumably you live near a bank then!!! lol.
If you’re used to living in a town where you have everything nearby, then its very difficult to appreciate the importance and significance of having something that comes to you, rather than having to catch an inevitably expensive bus to a busy bank to sort everything out, whereas you could get the ball rolling like this.
Theres nothing wrong with two employees who actually care about the people they serve, being polite and happy to people! Believe me, not everyone in this world (ie most of the people commenting here!) are like that.
One final point…
“remember of course, it’s our money that’s paying for these adverts , as they have got fuck all themselves left”
The bank’s have ALWAYS got their money from the general public. The only difference being is that its now coming via a slightly different route than before. Just because we all know about it now, doesnt make it any different than they way its been since the beginning of time! lol.
Archer
Said on the 20 June 2009
Ooooh… some of the people posting on here like being polite and happy to people. Don’t generalize!!
I don’t personally. But I’m sure there’s someone on here who does.
Mark B
Said on the 25 June 2009
I fucking hate natwest with a passion, worst bank in the ENTIRE FUICKING WORLD!!!!
Tarquin Fintimblimwimlim Biscuit-Barrel
Said on the 6 July 2009
Don’t talk to me about NatWorst, the bunch of fuckers.
They invited me to upgrade my account. When I tried to do so, the bastards wrote to tell me that they were closing the account, and gave me a month to clear out my funds. TWATWest, more like.
How I laughed when the shit hit the fan at RBS.
Oh yes. Their adverts are piss-poor.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 6 July 2009
That’s cos you was using it to launder money from conflict diamonds….
Tarquin Fintimblimwimlim Biscuit-Barrel
Said on the 6 July 2009
No, any money in that account was my earnings from devising the Oven Pride ‘oven cleaner in a bag’ advert.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 6 July 2009
Ah, so you were supplying suspicious white powder, eh? Very dodgy…
Nick Morrison
Said on the 6 July 2009
Tarquin, they dont close an account for no apparent reason! Trust me.
What the hell did you do?! lol
Tarquin Fintimblimwimlim Biscuit-Barrel
Said on the 7 July 2009
I honestly have no idea why the bastards closed my account. They didn’t give a reason either, they don’t have to!
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 7 July 2009
I understand the reason they have mobile banks but what I don’t understand is why the advert has to last over a fucking minute! It’s just SOOOOO BORING to sit through. We got the message that they have mobile banks about 5 seconds into the advert dammit!
Nick Morrison
Said on the 7 July 2009
Did you ask them why? There will be a reason (whether it makes sense or not! lol)
H
Said on the 31 August 2009
CHRIST. These adverts are awkward to the extreme.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 31 August 2009
Has anyone noticed that they seem to be in the printing business too? and one little van delivering to all those branches, it hardly seems feasable does it, I’d have got an experienced printing firm in to make up my literature if I was running a national company, and I bet I could get it delivered by TNT (that’s a delivery company, not the explosive…) for far cheaper than one poxy little tranny (that’s the van, not the man) running round the country…..
I wonder how much they charge for 5000 leaflets………
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 1 September 2009
For fuck sake, Natwest! Please fuck off with all the annoying ads. I just saw one where they were saying that they are now open on Saturdays. OK, great. But do you have to drag the advert on for a whole fucking MINUTE?! It’s more of the same shit where the customers are having idle chit-chat with the bank staff. Seriously, these adverts are fucking boring! “Let’s talk on Saturdays” is their slogan. Talking to bloody bank staff is the LAST thing I would ever want to do on a goddamn Saturday! This ad sucks.
In fact, ALL bank adverts suck and can GO TO HELL!
Killme
Said on the 14 September 2009
I hate the Natwest adverts aswell. Trying to compare your saturday banking session with a trip to the hairdressers. Plus, the most recent advert is supposed to be set in Birmingham. I dont think i heard one Birmingham accent in the advert.
The other one where the boss is talking to the minimum wage monkey sealing the boxes about going golfing at the weekend. The guy sealing the boxes cant afford one golf club never mind the whole set, and as if the boss guy would make the effort to talk to his staff. makes me want to smash the telly.
Daniel Newton
Said on the 15 September 2009
I’m with NatWest myself but i cannot stand there recent adverts.
I’m not sure if its becouse there is no point to them such as “Banking on saturday” or if its becouse they look like a cheap 20p job (like cash4gold)
BLew09
Said on the 20 September 2009
God I HATE Natwest, I checked my online banking this morning to discover a charge of £70 because they made a payment without sufficient funds. Well why did you authorise my card you morons! Really can belive they can just take my money like that!
N
Said on the 20 September 2009
Or don’t spend money you don’t have!! lol. Why should they pay for whatever it was you bought?
Daniel Newton
Said on the 20 September 2009
BLew09: as i said above i am also with Natwest and have Their online banking.
Have you noticed how slow it is to update? it takes between 5 and 7 days for a single transaction to show up; no wonder they took your money without sufficant funds.
If you ring them up and tell them, they can speed up the update time; which might prevent your problem starting again as that is the same thing that happend to me.
I love how they advertise it as secure fast online banking anywhere though (allways makes me laugh)
N
Said on the 20 September 2009
This has never ever happened to me!! lol.
Mine has always, without fail, updated in real time, so this just seems absolutely peculiar!
N hater
Said on the 20 September 2009
N do you work for Nat Worst head office?
N
Said on the 20 September 2009
Nope, just a branch! lol
N hater
Said on the 20 September 2009
But you suck up to the bosses.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 20 September 2009
Seven fucking emails I just had to filter through… SEVEN!
There are some really inconsiderate bastards on this site nowadays….
Gaz
Said on the 22 September 2009
And has anyone noticed that the music in the early 90′s adverts for TwatTest (Crockett’s Theme) is from Miammi Vice – a cops and *ROBBERS* programme..! Sickening child in the first advert..! – “A bit like filling a photo-copier, except the paper’s more expensive…” [re filling an ATM] Is this really the sort of people we all need to bank with..?! Good impression of what your staff are like or what, NW..?
Ritchie
Said on the 14 October 2009
Most of the poor b*stards who got robbed (during the eighties) by these unscrupulous w*nkers are still around today hopefully. I’m one of them and I haven’t forgotten. I wouldn’t p*ss on them to put out the flames. They scr*wed me and my business every chance they got. At one point, my bank charges were higher than the transactions value going through my account. I hope they go bankrupt.
yhufhdg
Said on the 22 October 2009
Natwest fucking suck. They have screwed me over so many times that i want to punch each and every one of them in their faces.
Rich
Said on the 13 November 2009
TOTAL CUNTS OF THE FIRST ORDER. THESE ADVERTS ARE VERGING ON SOCIAL RAPE. WHEN I OWE THESE CUNT BANKS £39 FOR GOING OVERDRAWN BY 88P. THEY ARE SENDING OUT SHITTY IN YOUR FACE DEMANDS, (BECAUSE THAY WANT THE ADDITIONAL MONEY TO KEEP STOKING THEIR FREE CHRISTMAS PISS UPS. YES WHEN THESE CUNTS OWE 20 BILLION AND ARE VERGING ON GOING BUST, WE YES YOU AND ME HAVE TO BAIL OUT THESE INCOMPETENT DUMB ZERO SKILLED PIG SHAGGERS . WHY THE FUCK SHOULD WE??? LET THESE CUNTS GO UNDER. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER FOR YOU, ME AND THE COUNTRY AS A WHOLE. AT THE VERY LEAST WE WOULDNT HAVE THESE PLASTIC ACTORS FLOGGING SHIT WE DONT NEED WITH OUR OWN MONEY?? WHEN WILL WE WAKE UP TO THESE CUNTS??? HALIFAX ARE JOINT CUNTS WITH NATWEST. CREDIT UNIONS ARE THE WAY FORWARD. GIVE THE MONEY BACK TO THE PEOPLE. OH I FORGOT TO ADD THERE ARE ALSO COMPANYS THAT ARE IN THE SUPER ELITE CUNT CATEGORY. MBNA CREDIT CARDS!!! HOLDS THE TOP SPOT OF CUNTS OF THE COUNTRY.. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. HAVE FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES AND GO BUST ATLEAST IT WOULD STOP YOU FLOGGING YOUR SHIT ON TO PEOPLE WHO ARE VULNERABLE. SENDING OUT SEASIDE POSTCARDS GETTING PEOPLE TO CONTACT YOU BECAUSE THEY CANT AFFORD TO PAY YOUR EXTREME FUCKING MONTHLY MINIMUM AMOUNT FOR THE NEXT 30 YEARS. YES MBNA YOU INDEED HAVE THE TOP SPOT OF CUNTS OF THE COUNTRY. ONLY JUST BEATING NATWEST AND THE HALIFAX CUNTS! ENJOY YOUR ACCOLADE. BECAUSE THATS ALL YOU WILL EVER GET FROM ME!! CUNTS
Archer
Said on the 14 November 2009
Zero skilled pig shaggers… possibly my favourite insult ever.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 14 November 2009
Is it me or does Rich seem a little vexed??
Rich
Said on the 23 November 2009
YEA THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENTS LADS ZERO SKILLED PIG SHAGGERS IS A LONG WAY FROM A MORE APPROPRIATE DESCRIPTION. THESE CAPIITALIIST CUNTS, NATWEST, HALIFAX AND MBNA ARE THE SCUM OF THE SCUM WITH THEIR, BOLLOCKS UNDERWRITING CRITERIA, I CAN JUST IMAGINE THESE CUNTS OF CUNTS RUBBING THEIR HANDS WITH GLEE OR THEIR ASSIGNED AND SUPPOSEDLY OFT CHECKED CUNT CUNTS CUNTING CUNT DEBT COLLECTORS, WORKING ON THEIR BEHALF BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THESE BANKS ARE FUCKING THESE DEBT COLLECTORS UP THEIR ARSE SO HARD THAT THEY HAVE ONLY ONE CHOICE WHICH IS TO BE THEIR DEBT BITCH, FREE TO PREY ON POOR EASY TARGET SINGLE MOTHERS WHO HAVENT GOT A POT TO PISS IN, OR OLD RETIRED WOMEN WHO HAVE LOST THEIR HUSBAND AND CANT AFFORD YOUR BOLLOCKS OVERPRICED PRODUCTS WHICH GIVE YOU AS MUCH BENEFIT AS JUMPING O FF THE TALLEST BUILDING IN YOUR AREA. I WOULD RATHER BE GANG RAPED BY YARDY *IGGERS IN JAMAICA THAN DEAL WITH THESE. BULLSHITTING MONEY GRABBING, DEVIOUS UNDERHAND, LYING, FALSE, UNCOMPROMISING, SCHEMING ZERO SKILLED PIG SHAGGING INBRED, BRAIN DEAD LIFE SUCKING SOCIAL RAPE CUNTING CUNTS!!!!!!! ALL GO BUST AND FUCK OFF, BY THE WAY YOUR ADVERTS ARE VERGING ON DELUDED IDEAS THAT YOUR CUSTOMERS RESPECT YOU AND YOUR ETHICS, AND TAKE ON BOARD EVERYTHING YOU SAY??????. DO THEY FUCK!!!!! YOU 20 BILLION DEBT RIDDEN WAY PAST YOUR SELL BY DATE CUNTS!!!! POWER TO THE PEOPLE !!!!!!
Bastards
Said on the 24 November 2009
They’re annoying, but what about the fact they advertise two women driving to remote places with a van full of cash?
Did they think this through?
Daniel Newton
Said on the 24 November 2009
I’m with NatWest and I detest these adverts, What is the point of the mobile bank? from the advert it looks like their are no computers on board so how do you open a new account or make a transaction? do you hand your money over to one of those two doesy looking goons in the hope that when they get back there going to process the transaction?
As for “Driving to remote locations” did they really think that part through? in fact did they think the whole concept of this idea through? “lets drive a mobile bank to the middle of know where” – I’ll give it 2 to 3 weeks before its on the news that one of these vans has been stolen, driven off with or robbed!
Especially with one of them two off the advert driving, “Margaret lets pull over here next to the man with a large baseball bat for a cup of tea……..”
The scum
Said on the 24 November 2009
The mobile bank is a service for those who need to do basic transactions (ie deposits and withdrawals).
There are no computers (it’s a van- that wouldnt work). It runs like branches used to run before everything was computerised, and everything gets processed overnight (like cheques paid in at branches do).
And it’s as safe as any branch is in terms of it carrying cash around!
And just to clarify- these vans have been going for years without being robbed!
And Rich…
…the Christmas piss-up’s AREN’T free!
Daniel Newton
Said on the 10 December 2009
Although I realise this rant is in completely the wrong place; I have given up all hope of this site ever being updated again, the final post was July/June… since then their has been a catalogue of badly dubbed, badly acted, badly written and just generally bad adverts that have gone completely unappreciated.
Now on to the rant; Since I cannot find any thread/post for Barclays I’m going to post this here because quite frankly their recent monotonous adverts are absolutely awful.
One in particular really makes me want to stick pencils in my eyes while shoving shards of broken glass up my ars… nose, it’s the one with the man and the slide and the ‘contact less technology’ now I’m not at all being sexist or whatever, but please if your going to show half naked men on my telly CONSTANTLY then please try and get some decent looking people? That man is awful; stupid expression on his face, ugly long curly hair and an awful body that I quite frankly don’t want too see while eating my tea, lying in bed, watching corrie….erm? well basically I don’t want to see it!
Rant over, however I fear this may be my last post, their are only so many back issue’s that I can read, the site is becoming very tedious now but It was once a great way to spend my afternoons or get some relief after witnessing a terrible advert.
Leon
Said on the 10 December 2009
U MEAN the guy who jumps down the chute and picks everything up as he goes along until he gets home? he’s fucking disgusting. i hate the chump
Daniel Newton
Said on the 10 December 2009
Yes, thats the one.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 12 December 2009
There are no threads for Barclays because they haven’t advertised for over four years before the current advertising campaign. Anyway the water slide ad may be tosh, but the classic Johnny English ads more than make up for it…
N
Said on the 12 December 2009
Barclay’s have been advertising quite regularly over the last 4 years Mr Jellyfish. At least I thought they had.
Did they not have the bloke in his “Uncle’s house” who was defrauding people from his garage?! And the main character was dicking about there when the police raided them, while he was wearing his Uncle’s personalised robe?
Or was that older than I thought and Im being a knob? Or both? lol
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 13 December 2009
It’s older than you thought… Maybe that’s why Natwest are in the shit??? Just a thought lol… N why don’t you join the winning team?? It may mean changing your name to /B/ and the FBI staking out your house, but it’s far more fun.l
N
Said on the 13 December 2009
Consider it done!! lol
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 14 December 2009
Yep, but you’ll have to learn the difference between a photocopier and a cash machine… lol
N
Said on the 14 December 2009
Photocopiers give you free money..?
B
Said on the 14 December 2009
I’ve decided to make the change.
joshward84
Said on the 14 December 2009
I’m just announcing a tour on twitter, GET IN TOUCH!!
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 14 December 2009
Oh crap… the torrents of rage that shall fall from your simple misguided effort at trolling… my lulz will be long and hard….
Rob Smith
Said on the 22 December 2009
Theres a new ad in this series – where Nat West kindly go into schools to teach them about money. I wonder how these classes really go.
“Hi kids – you alll get pocket money right – and when youre good you get extra money from your parents. Now heres an idea, why not ask your parents to pay all your pocket money up front, and, as well assume youll be good every week, well ask them for all the bonuses as well, and the money they will no doubt give you for passing all your GCSEs- I mean they were going to give it to you eventually. Take all that money, and take it to some bloke on the market, who will be able to get you toys at a discount rate becuse your buying in bulk”
Next week
“So kids how did you get on”
“Bloke in the market didnt turn up”
“Oh well not to worry, you can ask your parents for some more money to cover your losses. I mean theyll have to bail you out, because it will cause too much trouble for them if you have to face the consequences of your bad investment choices. Maybe they can give you their hard earned life savings. Either way dont forget to ask for bonus pocket money because you showed so much MoneySense – after all if they dont give you a bonus maybe youll go off to some other family in the street who pay more pocket money”
Daniel Newton
Said on the 22 December 2009
@ Rob Smith:
I completely know what you mean! I HATE that advert with a passion in fact it makes me want to close my accounts with NatWest its that bad.
Plus the fat arrogant kid that says something like “I just get my mom and dad to pay” I really really want to punch him in the face for some reason.
Rob
Said on the 22 December 2009
Yeah what next – Pete Doherty coming into schools to tell kids they dont need to take drugs to have a good time.
Id like to see bankers go on something like the sex offenders register, so we can see if one moves into our area, and keep our kids safe from them
JJ
Said on the 2 January 2010
The new natwest Advert in the school is a killer, how disgusting is that??
To think we are so stupid that natwest can come to our kids schools and “teach” them “Impartially” about how to save money.
Natwest are two things: Ridiculous+Bastards
I do not want natwest advertising in my kids school.
Ad Hater 2.0
Said on the 22 March 2010
ARGH, Natwest, please just FUCK OFF! The one where they are in a school is STILL on and it’s driving me fucking INSANE! Would 11-14 year olds really give a shit about banking for fuck sake?!
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