Microsoft – I’m a PC
2 December 2008 by SilkyAs any sane person knows everyone alive today can be split into two categories: PC or Mac.
And on the off chance that you’re not sure which you are I’ve knocked together a handy check list.
You’re a Mac if all of the following:
- You work in Graphic Design.
- You wear t-shirts with ironic slogans on them that would make a non-Mac look like a complete knob.
- You’re currently sleeping with 5 people at the same time. At least 3 of them are models – but all of them are perfectly happy with the arrangement.
- You live in the gay quarter of either Manchester or Bristol – even though you’re 80% sure you’re not gay. Well, 65% sure.
- You’re far too cock-achingly cool to be reading TV’s Worst Adverts.
You’re a PC if you’re any of the following:
- Not all of the Mac ones above.
Now Apple, being the wily advertiser that they are, realised that the “I’m a Mac” list was kind of restricting it’s customer base. So they expanded what “being a Mac” meant to the far more inclusive “anyone who isn’t David Mitchell“.
But this was a smite too far for Microsoft.
“How dare they insinuate that PC users aren’t cool and in some way all still live with their mums” – I suspect the Microsoft senior management said at their weekly Connect 4 championship.
So they decided to get their own back with their series of “I’m a PC” adverts. Yeah, Microsoft were going to give Apple a bitch slap they wouldn’t soon forget:
Except, and I’m sure this will amaze you as much as it amazes me, in making these adverts Microsoft have taken one of Apple’s ideas and made it very, very nerdy and many, many times shitter.
Who would have thunk it?
Of course, one of the main problems with these advert’s pathetic attempt at portraying PC users as some kind breed of uber-Fonzies, lies with the fact that PCs aren’t sexy or cool.
PC’s are – and hold the front page for this one – functional and dull.
And there are few things nerdier than nerds trying to be cool. In fact these Microsoft ads miss the mark so much – one of them even features Bill, for funk’s sake – that they make David Mitchell’s character from the Apple adverts seem like Justin Timberlake.
So come on Microsoft, stop trying to be cool and keep doing what you’re good at: Add a few more functions to Excel so I can get my accounts done!
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(23 votes, average: 3.78 out of 5)
22Responses:
Donald Rush
Said on the 2 December 2008
Great post. I agree totally. I am glad that the designers in the UK are still using Mac. I used to read Computer Arts Mag and it is seemed like they used pc as the default and would show mac commands as the alternative.
Silky
Said on the 2 December 2008
Thanks for that, Donald, glad you liked it.
I’m fairly certain that the rule is: if you don’t use a Mac, you’re not a proper designer.
I haven’t read Computer Arts recently but I know a lot of the Web design mags here in the UK never even mention Mac commands. Which, if the above rule is applied, speaks volumes about Web design.
Mike Empuria
Said on the 2 December 2008
i haven’t read this yet. I will do. Promise!
I just think you need to expand the horizons of your self imposed brief.
I was just watching BBC weather and the man said that there’s going to be a “Disruptive Snowfall Event”
Need I say more?
Silky
Said on the 2 December 2008
Ha, yea, like it, Mike.
I dare say there’ll be a DSE Solution appearing in Private Eye soon enough too
Now, get reading!
Hannah
Said on the 2 December 2008
The ad’s crap if for no other reason than it sounds like some of them are saying ‘I’m a Pissy’.
I use a Mac by the way and don’t fit any of those descriptions…
Oh, and has anyone actually e mailed Bill…?
Silky
Said on the 2 December 2008
“I use a Mac by the way and don’t fit any of those descriptions…”
Unless you’re actually David Mitchell you should be fine, Hannah
Mike Empuria
Said on the 4 December 2008
Oh that is bad.
Mike Empuria
Said on the 4 December 2008
PS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7L2fsubA2-c
Someone had to post it.
Mike Empuria
Said on the 4 December 2008
PPs
And these:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZGIn9bpALo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poREl_EVWXI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL2l_Q1AR_Q&feature=related
jonty
Said on the 2 January 2009
im a pc and im a fat fuckin cunt who sits on my arse all day watchin fuked up things called whothefukami.com and dwarffights.com while stuffing my face full of doritos and coke on my big fat fukin chair with no bloody wheels i can spin around on cause they broke around 3 months ago cause im so fukin fat they snapped off…
and tht why im a pc
btw tht was a joke i just think they should do one like tht
Stan
Said on the 6 January 2009
christ Silky how do you manage to insult everyone in one bulletin!??? its a skill i tell ya.
The reason a lot of ppl in Britain use PCs is because they’ve been brought up (so to speak) on Windows – the awkward pile of sh1te that it is. Macs are different, and simplified – which jars against the british stiff upper lip. Change?! never! and don’t even mention making life easier!
the design of macs are beautiful. but more importantly they dont botch up the way PCs do. I love Sonys, but try getting it to run photoshop on one and it starts having an epileptic fit on you. And no Im not a graphics geek and no im not a dick happy bloke. oh and im currently in London. nice steriotype you’re trying to create there.
Hannah’s comment made me laugh as i also thought they were calling themselves ‘pissys’ all the way through.. it left me quite baffled.. for a while. probs by the 20th ad i realised it was PC desperately trying to be cool with a bit of celeb endorsement which anyone in the ad industy will know it’s just not cool.
saying your a PC is like admitting your just yet another boring, politically correct person that blends in with the rest of the peeeeeee ceee users. oh, and that you can work edexcell. you exciting lot you!
Matt
Said on the 10 February 2009
Tbf, i use a mac and i’m geekier than most people…i use it because they work better for practical working such as media development and microsoft just can’t keep up in that department.
The apple ads presented some serious points in a funny way…aka showing that their system was superior in a lot of aspects.
This ad just kinda says “I’m a pc…and i’m in working in another country and i’m cool cus i’m Pharell etc etc…”
“Why are you cool exactly?”
“Err…cus i’m on an advert saying it!”
Congrats Bill (y)
Tony
Said on the 9 June 2009
Nintendo should have muscled in with their own version.
“I’m pissey, and I play with my Wii.”
Although, I do prefer PCs, I don’t really do anything they used them for in the ads.
benji
Said on the 25 June 2009
silky you must be a homo to write like that
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 25 June 2009
Yeah Silky, get Linux, now that’s a mans system….
Mike Empuria
Said on the 25 June 2009
Yeah you homo Silky!
Congratulations on the birth of your second. Eleanor Rose looks beautiful. Best wishes to you, her, your other little one and your chosen lifestyle partner you big poof.
EMOK
Said on the 13 July 2009
I use a Mac but don’t actually fit into any of your “MAC” categories. This was still an awful ad though
David Is Right
Said on the 30 July 2009
Utter bollocks about graphic design, and everything else, I’m afraid. There is no quantifiable reason that Macs are “better” for graphic design than PCs. This may have been true in the mid-80s but there is no reason for it to be true today.
With regard to the “coolness” of the two adverts, one has the cuntish character Jez from Peep Show, the other has Pharrell Williams.
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 26 October 2009
“I’m a PC and Windows 7 was my idea.”
Oh just FUCK OFF! The “I’m A PC” ads were shit but the Windows 7 ads have gone so far off the shit scale! Why must M$ make such shitty ads?
Also, the fact that they advertise Windows 7 in an episode of Family Guy is just beyond fucking stupid!
Ad Hater 2.0
Said on the 1 December 2009
ARGGGGHHH! Microsoft, please get that stupid Bing shit off the 360 NOW! I’m so sick of seeing this every 5 fucking minutes whenever I play 1 vs 100! “Where is Bing?” I don’t give a flying fuck about Bing, I’ll just stick to Google thanks. “Want to know the latest footy results?” If I wanted to get the footy results then I’d just use BBC and not some search engine I’ve never heard of! Also, I go fucking batshit INSANE everytime I hear the words “Bing & Decide.”
And JustEat.co.uk can fuck off too!
Brooklyn Evans
Said on the 28 April 2010
I use Bing and Google whenever i want to find something on the internet. I think that both search engines are very good. “
Colton Diaz
Said on the 6 May 2010
It is interesting to compare the performance of Bing and Google search but i haven’t seen any difference at all in their performance. .”
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