As any sane person knows, American Idol is by far the best programme shown on ITV.

It dredges America’s massive talent pool which is full of an endless supply of flunkies who’ll gladly make fools of themselves on international TV. And there’re few things better than watching an idiot scream through a Maria Carey song whilst dancing like they’re having an epileptic fit on 2 broken legs.

But by the time the show gets down to the last dozen contestants they have some genuinely talented singers. This year is no exceptions with the boys (Interestingly, all of the boys are called “David” with the exception of Chikezie, who is called “Jacuzzi”), in my opinion, being far better than the girls. Maybe this is a sexist man thing, but I can’t think of any female singers I actually like, except maybe Aimee Mann - but even she’s called Mann.

However, regardless of how good the singers are, more often then not though the judges steel the show.

“That was the bomb, dowg!” cries Randy Jackson as he dislocates his fingers to throw some gesture to the camera.

“You’ve got wonderful colours and textures and I’m a… I love your spirit” drools Paula Abdul like a sedated basset hound.

“You’ve got a good voice but wrong song choice” scowls Simon Cowell like a King of Pop passing a decree to his court.

Yeah? So? What? I hear you cry.

Why are you gibbering on about American Idol on TV’s Worst Adverts?

Well because I think of that chestnut of Simon Cowell’s whenever I see this McCains Oven Chips advert:

Wrong song choice!

Everyone in the advert can clearly sing and dance. And there’s nothing wrong with a good set piece from a musical but I really don’t like the butt clenchingly bad “Chips. Glorious Chips” song. In fact, I think I hate it.

As a rule, rewriting the lyrics to well known songs is a bad thing. The finished product always comes off as naff and the McCains advert is no exception.

Plus, the song it’s based on “Food. Glorious Food” from Oliver! is the worst chorus in the whole musical and is sung in such a high register that there are lines only dogs and Paula Abdul can hear.

No, if you want a bit of Oliver! then I’d have gone for “I’d do anything for one chip, anything. And I’d give everything for two chips, everything!” Now that’s much better, don’t you think?

Or maybe not….