Mazda MX-5

14 March 2007 by Silky

Simply slagging off critiquing a Mazda advert isn’t really fair without a bit of context.

Any advertising agency that works for Mazda has to contend with the death-wails of the monster that is the “Zoom-zoom-zoom!” jingle. A jingle that is so catastrophically bad (I want to become a 21st Van Gough every time I hear it) that I can only imagine that it was first hummed by the tone-deaf child of one of Mazda’s executives and it has to stay. No-one in their right mind (this obviously doesn’t exclude advertisers then) would think that tune was any good what-so-ever.

So their you go, even-handed context.

The latest ad has the set up as though a James Bond type has just got one over a Chinese crime boss. But it’s a man, in a Mazda MX-5, that can only mean he’s not a spy at all, but a hair dresser. Presumably one that’s just over charged a Chinese crime boss for a standard short-back-and-sides and the Chinese crime boss looks mighty pissed (”What aren’t you even going to ask if I want any product!”).

As the hair dresser makes his get a way he is pursued by a motorcycling rhythm-gymnast that dazzles by-standers with swirling ribbons (”I mean that just says Chinese to me on a fundamental level, ok?”) that, whoa! have metal spikes on the end.

Do not fear though, dear Reader! You are safe from danger because the roof of the MX-5 can protect you from any such attack!

(Disclaimer: as long as the motorcycling rhythm-gymnast is caught up in their routine that they forget to attack you for 5 minutes because that’s how long it seems to take to get the roof up.)

There is a happy-ending though (as long as you’re not a Chinese crime boss or a viewer of this advert) because, you know what, the motorcycling rhythm-gymnast is a woman! And the hair dresser manages to woo her into his car and they drive off into the sunset.

I can only assume this was achieved by promising of a hefty discount on her next highlights, because no woman would ever be impressed by a man driving a MX-5. NO. WOMAN. EVER.

Why this ad is so bad is because the goal it is attempting to achieve is impossible. Men plus MX-5 simply will never equal sexy/cool. Particularly if he’s driving along to a sound track of “Zoom-zoom-zoom!”.

Judge for yourselves:

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Just How Bad is this Ad?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (15 votes, average: 2.93 out of 5)

16Responses:

  • Said on the 23 April 2007

    Hello there!I really like your blog and i have a proposal for you.I want you to be an affiliate of mine.I pay 50%

    commision.For details please enter here

  • Said on the 10 July 2007

    “Particularly if he’s driving along to a sound track of “Zoom-zoom-zoom!”.”

    Erm, is it just me or did anyone else notice that the ad doesn’t actually feature the Zoom-Zoom-Zoom music ?!?

  • Said on the 10 July 2007

    Hey tom. Yeah maybe you picked me up on a technicality there… ooh, I need to wriggle out of this one…

    I did say “…if he’s driving along to a sound track of “Zoom-zoom-zoom!” and not “…he is driving along to…”

    How’s that?

  • Said on the 18 September 2007

    Don’t forget the follow-up advert:

  • Said on the 18 September 2007

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Elmf9gsfPQI

  • Said on the 9 March 2008

    what is the name of the new mazda 6 jingle thaty they are using any one have any idea

  • Said on the 9 March 2008

    Jupiter One’s “Platform Moon”.
    Check out jupiterone.com.

  • Said on the 9 May 2008

    Why the hell would they pick a LIME GREEN car for an advert? (this is the one Kurre posted). A flippin’ Bugatti Veyron wouldn’t look good in lime green, let alone a Mazda hatchback…

  • Said on the 10 May 2008

    fsmail01

  • Said on the 10 May 2008

    log on to you tube type in searce fsmail01 FOR THE REAL SOUND OF AN MX5 ON AN AIRPORT UNDERPASS TUNNEL RUN

  • Said on the 10 May 2008

    Yes John, you unfortunately still have to contend with the fact that you drive a woman’s car though. Oh well.

  • Said on the 10 May 2008

    So, Jonny, what testosterone pumping animal do you drive? Does it make you feel like a “real man”? Are you really so insecure in your sexuality that you need to reassure yourself that you’re a “man” by driving a “man’s car”? Hmmm, Chestwig….maybe you are…

    Crap advert, though.

  • Said on the 11 May 2008

    Yes David I drive a big penis shaped car to reassure myself that I’m not gay. Secretly I fantasise about you touching my organ though, you tease.

  • Said on the 11 May 2008

    I am, however, comfortable enough to not post a video of me driving my car through a tunnel for everyone elses viewing ‘pleasure’.

  • Said on the 16 June 2008

    John Douglas if I were American I would call you a douchebag.

    I hope you get many speeding tickets in your lifetime.

  • Said on the 7 July 2008

    Actually a woman would like a man driving an mx-5, in case you hadn’t noticed woman tend not to go for swaggering cocks in mustangs and no supercar is cool even for anyone apart from the driver becaus most are owned by balding 40-50 year olds.

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