Mattessons – Fridge Raiders Chicken Bites
24 May 2008 by SilkyHow do you convince people that they’re not eating enough chicken – in a convenient bite size format – late at night?
Simple:
Thanks to Jonny Chestwig for submitting this bad ad.
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(25 votes, average: 4.24 out of 5)
49Responses:
Jonny Chestwig
Said on the 25 May 2008
Not only does the advert irritate me immensely, it fails in its goal in that I couldn’t for the life of me remember the brand name afterwards. And why is it a feature of carnovres that they dance like a moron around the room..
His girlfriend does a nice impression of someone who’s just had an ice cube forced up her anus as she walks through the door though.
Dave
Said on the 25 May 2008
Oh dear oh dear oh dear, where do you begin with this, crappy bits of processed battery produced chicken, turn you into a monster that’s alluring to attractive young women and no doubt doubles the size of your cock, unbelievable.
Jonny Chestwig
Said on the 25 May 2008
Yes I bet the ‘bite-sized’ pieces of ‘chicken breats’ are by no means scraps of flesh sprayed off a mangy hen’s skull and feet and squished together to form ‘meat product’. I shudder to think, but I bet mother’s who went apopleptic about Turkey Twizzlers will be happy to put this animal slurry in their kids’ lunchboxes.
Hannah
Said on the 26 May 2008
They just look like indigestion in a bag! I saw it on the big screen yesterday at the cinema- was gutted they hadn’t sexed it up a bit for the Movies. The way he says ‘mmmmm, chicken breast’ it’s got that faint whiff of porn about it… Uuurgh, bad ad.
St Peter
Said on the 26 May 2008
Yes theres something worrying about the whole thing. Like the way he is initially horrified and then suddenly randomly starts wiggling his hips like a cretin.
Jonny Chestwig
Said on the 26 May 2008
I just found this rather delightful description of these from someone WHO HAS ACTUALLY EATEN THEM:
“The worryingly unspecific “roast†flavour is the marginally more palatable of the two, tasting like some distant relative of Roast Chicken crisp flavouring that’s been passed down in a hastily handwritten form through 14 generations of an (all dyslexic) family. Whereas the “Tikka†flavour is just awful – evoking unsettling juxtaposed memories of flavours as diverse as 1970s Vesta curries and, er, vomit. Even on BOGOF, I feel cheated.”
BTW The post above is mine as well, forgot to get out of character after a previous post!
Trevor
Said on the 3 June 2008
Is the guy in the ad not Gary Lineaker ??????????
Jonny Chestwig
Said on the 4 June 2008
He looks nothing like him! More like H out of steps minus ludicrous haircut.
Crimewave
Said on the 8 June 2008
Haha the “ice up the anus” is spot on, I love how he has an array to choose from all displayed nicely on the top shelf of his fridge, I would definitely have a bag of those as a “pre-date” snack.
boke
ficklefiend
Said on the 10 June 2008
I’ve got to add a couple of things, firstly, I quite like this advert, I think the guy looks awesome as a werewolf!
Secondly, this advert has already been successful. These chickeny things are revolting and I’ve seen them at the supermarket for years and passed them by, but now I go down the cold meats aisle and see there’s only one purple packet sitting all alone on the shelf.
That’s the kind of proof you can rely on- proof that people are so gullible for an advert they like.
Ciara
Said on the 11 June 2008
I’m highly confused by this advert. He appears to be initially quite concerned by his newly acquired carnivorous appearance. He then proceeds to be warming to it. However, when he is threatened by the girlfriend oncoming intrusion, he then, as you do, necks the whole bag. If one “chicken bite” turned him into a werewolf, why does he think that stuffing the rest of the bag into his mouth will rectify his appearance in any way?
FAIL.
Janet Baines
Said on the 3 July 2008
The people who are complaining about this advert are being ridiculous.
Caira, it isn’t a fail. Let’s look at what actually happens. He catches sight of himself suddenly all wolf-like in the mirror, and it gives him a shock. It isn’t “concern”, but surprise he shows, but then after the initial jump of “good lord I’m all hairy” he realises he’s all manly and beast-like.
“If one “chicken bite†turned him into a werewolf, why does he think that stuffing the rest of the bag into his mouth will rectify his appearance in any way?” He doesn’t. He’s trying to hide the fact that he’s been eating them. Presumably because he likes his new “sexy” look and doesn’t want her to find out he actually got it from the chicken bites.
Rob Smith
Said on the 10 July 2008
What annoys me is when he goes Mmm Chicken Breast! as if Chicken Breast was some exquisite delicacy. Im not happy with the way the McDonalds generation have set mechanically recovered meat as the base standard for chicken, so if you get a bit of breast its some bloody luxury. As I recall, when we had chicken at home, the breast was the chicken, that was your standard bit. Yes the rest of the chicken got eaten, maybe in a mums curry or soup, but we didnt look at the breast and go “mmm chicken breast – were not worthy”, chicken breast was ours by right
Michael
Said on the 10 July 2008
Anyone who has ever eaten one of these things is a blight on society who thoroughly deserves to be killed by being split in half by chainsaw, from the crotch up, one inch every half hour. (Obviously the chainsaw would need to be pluggable into a mains.)
Cathryn
Said on the 12 August 2008
whats the matter with this advert? nothing wrong about it
it’s just really funny, in some way
Ciara
Said on the 11 September 2008
Janet, it’s not Caira. It’s Ciara.
Said like Keira Knightley. In case you wanted to know how to pronounce it, as well as spell it.
Gollop
Said on the 22 April 2009
This advert is the best I have seen in ages, I got to this site by accident after we were all trying to explain it to someone at work because we all thought it was funny. The guys facial expressions crack us up and the when his girlfriend finds him sexy is even better.
I probably wouldn’t eat them as I only eat cheese and celery.
Very funny ad, you lot are a real bunch of moaners, get a life and a sense of humour while your at it!
Peace and love
Jesus x
Rob Smith
Said on the 22 April 2009
Id love a girlfriend who was still thought I was sexy despite my breath stinking like an old bin bag after eating several bagfulls of sub dog food quality “meat” snacks. What a recipe for a night of luurv Mattesons have made here.
Chris
Said on the 28 April 2009
This is a terrible ad – as had been mentioned I had no idea what the product name was, and the Mattesons brand isn’t even mentioned – to me, that equals a marketing fail.
Also, if an ad has to be explained, as far as I’m concerned that means it is a bad advert.
The Boy Of Steel
Said on the 28 April 2009
MMMM i LOVE These!
Ugh. Of corse i don’t. These things look revolting.
It seems more likely that upon eating them you’d develop Bird Flu or something.
Rob Smith
Said on the 28 April 2009
They probably recently launched in Mexico
Rab
Said on the 30 April 2009
the burd would get bent over and rattled rotten. I think most of you would sook my helmet, 4 a bag of these
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 30 April 2009
# I probably wouldn’t eat them as I only eat cheese and celery. #
And you think we need to get a life?
Rob
Said on the 30 April 2009
” I think most of you would sook my helmet, 4 a bag of these”
I suppose it might take the taste of the fridge raiders away
Rob
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 30 April 2009
Maybe that’s the cheese and celery….
Archer
Said on the 1 May 2009
Every time this ad comes on, my eyes are uncontrollably drawn to the eggs in the guy’s fridge at the beginning. I could be wrong, but I think there are 48 of them. White and brown.
What the fuck is that about? And why did I notice that?
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 1 May 2009
He has 16 eggs Archer 8 white and 8 brown… yeah I’m sad enough to watch the ad again just so I can count them. What worries me even more is that when he opens the fridge the tomatoes are on the lower shelf, yet when he is closing it they are on the top shelf, unless he has two shelfs with tomatoes on them, if so, why? Who needs that many tomatoes? They aren’t even proper tomatoes you can put on a sandwich, they are just them little ones that you put on a garnish on a buffet that end up used as ammo by the little boys at the party,.
Damn you Archer, I’ve caught some sort of disease from you….
Archer
Said on the 4 May 2009
Ha ha… made you look!
Max
Said on the 6 May 2009
I ate some of these.
Wasn’t bad.
Oh wait I’m forgetting the part where I got AIDS and armageddon happened because I ate some poor-quality meat in an attempt to satiate my hunger. Shit.
jimmymental
Said on the 14 May 2009
I won’t be eating them again, had some last night and then…bugger me! I had turned into Justin Lee Collins! Good times!
amberr
Said on the 18 May 2009
Oh dare you I LOVE THIS ADVERT ITS HIS REACTIONS
Rab
Said on the 21 May 2009
we used 2 play a party game where we would see how many olives we could fit in our assholes. We have since changed to Fridge Raiders as they are more of a challenge. The new rules state that a cry of ‘mmm chicken breast’ must b uttered as each morsel is inserted or that particular nugget is deducted from your final tally. Let me tell you it becomes really difficult after around 50 as the roast flavouring really star ts to nip your rectal lining
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 21 May 2009
Really? We usually play “I never” I’m always pissed by 9 o’ clock
neil
Said on the 30 May 2009
i like these things, didn’t they ban the first advert?
mmm, chicken breast!
no don’t come in!
come on we’ve seen it all before.
not bitesize you havn’t!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBqccCYvVLk
Rab
Said on the 9 June 2009
Why did you post that pish video? Its not even remotely funny mate, I’d rather watch the Fridge Raiders ad on repeat than have to watch that tosh again,
Sass
Said on the 15 June 2009
Ah, you can’t beat the ‘you’re sad, get a life’ brigade’ who don’t realise how hypocritical they are because THEY are on here too! Some people are SOOO serious.
Janet, we don’t need a blow-by-blow account of what the advert portrays and means. That really is un-necessary.
Back to the ad. I think if it didn’t have that LUDICROUS music that plays it would be bearable. Well, cut out the gyrating streak of bacon too (there’s more meat on him than there is in one of those bags!) and it’d be ok.
I guess.
Bernard Mathews
Said on the 27 July 2009
Michael bring out your chainsaw faggot who are you calling a blight on society Ive just had two bags they were lovely. Who is the biggest blight on society a guy having a quick snack to feed his hunger or the freak that wants to kill me by splitting me in half by a chainsaw, from the crotch up, one inch every half hour. just wondering why you said (Obviously the chainsaw would need to be pluggable into a mains.) Mummy not trust you with electricity? or is a petrol one to advanced for you, get a life moron.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 27 July 2009
Looks like the mercury levels in the turkeys are rising again…
Archer
Said on the 28 July 2009
And I thought I was mental…
Thank God I don’t eat processed meat products…
Mark Gradwell
Said on the 16 August 2009
The best bits the girlfriend. Isn’t she Charlotte Riley who’s going to be seen on Wuthering Heights by ITV?
Mark Gradwell
Said on the 16 August 2009
Yep, definately her.
Mark Gradwell
Said on the 16 August 2009
I prefer Beef Jerky. Shame it’s so expensive over here. Nobody makes it in the UK and it’s an ideal food for hiking. No refrigeration required.
Perhaps Heathcliff could turn into a warewolf and chase her across the moors. And she does a roadrunner impersonation, leaving him with peat all over his face because she’s a Beef Jerky addict. Much more fun than this scenario.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 16 August 2009
Methinks that might have too many shades of Peter Sutcliffe surrounding it….
Afraid to say
Said on the 6 October 2009
I make this crap. well, i put this crap in bags.
Riley Cooper
Said on the 9 September 2010
i often get indigestion when i eat so much without taking foods high in fiber–.
rik o shea
Said on the 9 September 2010
CHICKEN BITES!! freshly extruded from the chickens arsehole, sun ripened, and freshly packed, to ensure it reaches you in perfect condition, new clinker flavour now available
DHEA Dosage
Said on the 16 December 2010
if you are not eating much fiber, then you will always get indigestion. so eat lots of dietary fibers ~’`
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MBT Sandals Shoes
Said on the 14 September 2011
The following time I learn a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to learn, but I really thought youd have one thing interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you may repair should you werent too busy looking for attention.