Mars Planets
30 May 2007 by SilkyOh people! Aren’t they idiots? More stupid than your average door handle. Less memory power than the piece of chewing gum I trod in today. They couldn’t remember their own name even if it was “x” and it was tattooed on the insides of their eye-lids.
But surely they can remember the ingredients of a chocolate bar that has been made for over 70 years, cant they? The makers of the new Mars Planets advert are hoping they can’t.
Because you see the great thing about Mars Planets is that you can mix them up to enjoy the great Mars taste your own way.
There’s chewy caramel. Heaven.
Who doesn’t like the soft nougat? Bring it on.
Oh and the crispy wafer. Woo mama!
What? No, hang on, there’s no crispy wafer in Mars Bars. No, no, you’re thinking of Kit-Kats. Or that Kinder Bueno. Or them there Maltesers.
Just how pig-ignorant do the advertisers really think we am?
Note to advertisers: If you didn’t think you could get away with selling us Mars Bars in a slightly different way without adding something to it, don’t just do it anyway and hope no-one notices. Let alone try and trick us in to thinking it’s always been that way.
It’s like you coming round to our houses for Sunday Lunch and having sex with our Nans on the table before we’ve even finished our prawn cocktail starters. Then denying you ever did it.
We saw you do it! It’s plain offensive! She’s 70 years old!
So listen advertisers: We’re not that stupid!
Although, you know what’s worse than “Mars Planets”? It’s those new “Bounty Islands”. Yeah, with the great taste of milk chocolate, dessicated coconuts and veal. Delicious!
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(6 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
15Responses:
RumpleThumps
Said on the 6 March 2008
I know you dont see this ad very much anymore, but I just thought I’d add that Mars Planets are quite probably the most blandest chocs I’ve ever tasted. Mmmm…three different types……ummmmm………but they all taste the same…….i.e. of nothing much at all.
Oh, and the ad was shit too.
Bobdog12
Said on the 30 August 2008
and there are only about five of them in a bag as well…..
Frank Higgins
Said on the 17 May 2009
fuck me,you are some loser LMFAO…..not only was that the lamest,creepiest & most painful attempt at trying to be funny I’ve ever read,your writing about CHOCOLATE,come around to yourself!
It seems you’ve exhausted every last iota of wit you had,even though by the looks of it you’ve got precious little to spare,on one of the most pointless articles I’ve ever read.
God,you must’ve been some kind of bored,
Silky
Said on the 17 May 2009
Yeah, now I read it again, Frank, maybe I did use too many exclamation marks.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 17 May 2009
A 70 year old…. I usually stop at 69….
Archer
Said on the 17 May 2009
Surely that’s more a place to start than stop…
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 18 May 2009
Are you trying to flatter me?
Archer
Said on the 19 May 2009
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But the cruellest form of mockery.
Archer
Said on the 19 May 2009
I can do either.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 19 May 2009
Can someone call me an ambulance, I have just been cut to ribbons…
Archer
Said on the 20 June 2009
Admittedly this is probably out of date… sorry I cut you. I’ll be more gentle next time.
rafmac
Said on the 28 October 2009
Is Paul Merton the guy in some of the Maltesers advert? Please settle our argument
Daniel Newton
Said on the 28 October 2009
No Paul Merton is the tit you hear banging on about car insurance every set of adverts for Direct Line.
See here for more info http://tvs-worst-adverts.co.uk/direct-line-car-insurance-with-stephen-fry-paul-merton/
Dannielle Newton
Said on the 28 October 2009
My feminine side finds Paul Merton quite appealling. x
shizniz
Said on the 18 June 2010
The Mars Planets advert that sponsers Friends is the most annoying advert of all time. COME UP WITH SOME MORE IDEAS!!! You are useless!!!
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