Magnet – Kitchen Designers
17 January 2008 by SilkyOver the past year or so Magnet have been *re-branding* themselves as Kitchen Design Gurus.
Here’s how they decided to do this: You take an object that defines you along to one of their stores and, because they’re so great at designing kitchens, they’ll design a kitchen for you around that object.
What. A. Brilliant. Idea.
Except Kitchen Designer is up there with Monkey Wrangler and, ooh, let’s say Celebrity Beauty Editor as not really a real job.
On top of this most people don’t have kitchens the size of Earls Court meaning that there’s very little scope when it comes to designing your kitchen. Which is why designing a kitchen is something that your average 3 year old could do with their set of plastic blocks.
Magnet are obviously all too aware of these facts, so their Kitchen Designers are actually masters of “Stating the Bleeding Obvious”.
In previous adverts we’ve been told:
“Corkscrew! That’s what I took in to Magnet because I like wine!”.
“Why don’t we put in a wine rack for you” the Magnet Kitchen Designer suggested. Clever.
“Chopsticks! That’s what I took in to Magnet because I like Chinese food!”.
“Why don’t we put in a wok burner on your stove” the Magnet Kitchen Designer suggested. Inspired.
In the latest set of adverts things take a turn for the surreal:
“I told Magnet I need some space to prepare food”.
“Why don’t we put in a special food preparation area” the Magnet Kitchen Designer suggested.
“Do you mean a *worktop*?” I asked the Magnet Kitchen Designer.
“We’ve got a smart one here!” said the Magnet Kitchen Designer.
Yes, it seems that Magnet have not only re-branded themselves but they’ve also re-branded everything in a kitchen that makes a kitchen a kitchen.
So in future adverts look out for people who Magnet sell:
- Special foodstuffs heating device (cooker)
- Special compartment to deposit vegetable peelings (bin)
- Special water-tight metal area to clense dirty plates (kitchen sink)
Listen here anyone thinking that Magnet Kitchen Designers are geniuseses: If a kitchen doesn’t have worktops, a cooker, cupboards, a sink etc. it’s not really a kitchen, it’s just another room.
So here’s my advice if you want a new kitchen, get down to the Early Learning Centre, buy some plastic blocks and have a bit of fun!
Just don’t kid yourself your an interior design genius.
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(14 votes, average: 3.86 out of 5)
14Responses:
Cath
Said on the 18 January 2008
My personal “favourite” was the one where the couple produce a pizza cutter because they like takeaway pizzas. So they don’t actually need a kitchen at all then.
Lee
Said on the 19 January 2008
Magnet are morons. It took them three attempts to deliver us the right kitchen. They got the measurements wrong twice. Getting them to care wasn’t easy. Dreadful company.
Keith
Said on the 20 January 2008
What I hate about these commercials is the superior holier than thou attitude the women talking about their prize kitchens adopt when talking down to those of us below the salt, who don’t have such luxuries as a lemon zester or a pizza cutter.
Silky
Said on the 20 January 2008
@ Cath – Yeah, that’s particularly well thought out isn’t it. Plus not only do they not need a kitchen for takeaway pizza, they don’t need a pizza cutter either because they normally come pre-cut!
Kitchen design
Said on the 23 January 2008
They are not really ‘kitchen designers’ they are salespeople! They are taught to ‘down design’ to keep the kitchen price down.
Silky
Said on the 23 January 2008
That’s a fair point Kitchen Design (if that is your real name!) but obviously not what they claim in their adverts.
They are, however, brilliant at using a software package that works out the cost of your kitchen to be exactly the same price regardless of what you ask for thanks to the wonders of “discounts”.
Alex
Said on the 28 January 2008
Hilarious.
Dave
Said on the 3 February 2008
I agree with the original comments, some of the ‘kitchens’ featured are the size of an aircraft hangar; if I knocked all the walls down on the ground floor of my house I still wouldn’t be able to fit one of these kitchens in, lets have some realism for God’s sake.
Majjie
Said on the 7 February 2008
Well, as an independent kitchen designer, I rather object to being told that I don’t have a real job and that a 3 year old could do what I do with a set of plastic blocks!
It’s true that some kitchen designers ARE just trying to sell you a kitchen – try inviting Kitchens Direct or Space Kitchens, or any other direct sellers, into your home and that’ll become immediately obvious. It’s also true that some kitchen designers are not good at their jobs – but it’s not true that they don’t need to be. After all, if Lee’s kitchen designer HAD been any good – then the measurements wouldn’t have been wrong twice.
I design both tiny and enormous kitchens but the trend is actually towards larger kitchens … lots of people are knocking down walls or building extensions so that they can make their kitchens bigger.
If you want to get real, then blame the marketing people for the adverts – not the designers who probably knew nothing about it before they appeared.
Silky
Said on the 7 February 2008
To be fair Majjie I said “average 3 year old” there will obviously be some 3 year olds that can’t do it at all…
The piece is more of a cheap shot at Magnet “Kitchen Designers” who, from my experience, do little more than drag icons around a screen until they’ve made them fit in all the right holes.
I’d hate to undermine 12 years hard work on your part… as long as you don’t sell people “special food preparation areas”.
John Sampson
Said on the 8 December 2008
I think most of you are wrong.
Although its true that the job is heavily reliant on a CAD package but you need to be a competant CAD driver to make it work, there is a long thouight process involved in putting the correct things in the best place, both practically and asthetically.
I am a kitchen DESIGNER for magnet and will be the first to admit that there are plenty of people out there both for magnet and others that shouldn’t be doing it but if it was so simple, then why have MFI gone bust.
Its a very competative market and my average appointment in the store is 2 hours. if i didn’t know what i was doing i couldn’t fill 2 hours talking about kitchens.
Im sorry but i take it quite personally when i bunch of people like you, who’s jobs are probably about as complicated as ‘so called childrens building blocks’ come on here and as mallie says, slag off kitchen designers for the adverts magnet probably paid millions to some marketing company to produce for them.
DIY
Said on the 6 May 2009
I am designing a kitchen for my home and I can tell you that it is not easy. I have had a meeting with 3 different kitchen designers and they have all suggested ideas that I had not even considered before the meeting.
Saying kitchen design is easy is the same as saying a web designer or graphic designer is easy. just not true.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 6 May 2009
# plenty of people out there both for magnet and others that shouldn’t be doing it but if it was so simple, then why have MFI gone bust. #
Two fucking words. Particle board.
Go fuck a spider you worthless ingrate. Or better still please let us all know how skillfull a job you do by telling us the name of the university in which you got your degree in “Kitchen Design”
# I have had a meeting with 3 different kitchen designers and they have all suggested ideas that I had not even considered before the meeting. #
That just means that they are salesmen that are familiar with their products, not that they are innovative or clever.
PROTIP: Want to save some money? Ask around your friends, bet you a quid one of them either fits flatpack kitchens or knows someone who does, And ask them to do it for you. They will measure up properly, get what you need, (probably cheaper too,) and fit it in two days.
NOTIP: Or you could go to Magnet and you’ll pay twice the amount for the same guy to come round and do the same fucking job.
eddie heaton
Said on the 25 June 2009
just had a kitchen fitted through my housing association, which was a magnet,and what a small sink,more suited to a caravan,i was told this is standard now, wtf,draining board small as well,surely this cant be right.
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