Magnet - Kitchen Designers
17 January 2008 by SilkyOver the past year or so Magnet have been *re-branding* themselves as Kitchen Design Gurus.
Here’s how they decided to do this: You take an object that defines you along to one of their stores and, because they’re so great at designing kitchens, they’ll design a kitchen for you around that object.
What. A. Brilliant. Idea.
Except Kitchen Designer is up there with Monkey Wrangler and, ooh, let’s say Celebrity Beauty Editor as not really a real job.
On top of this most people don’t have kitchens the size of Earls Court meaning that there’s very little scope when it comes to designing your kitchen. Which is why designing a kitchen is something that your average 3 year old could do with their set of plastic blocks.
Magnet are obviously all too aware of these facts, so their Kitchen Designers are actually masters of “Stating the Bleeding Obvious”.
In previous adverts we’ve been told:
“Corkscrew! That’s what I took in to Magnet because I like wine!”.
“Why don’t we put in a wine rack for you” the Magnet Kitchen Designer suggested. Clever.
“Chopsticks! That’s what I took in to Magnet because I like Chinese food!”.
“Why don’t we put in a wok burner on your stove” the Magnet Kitchen Designer suggested. Inspired.
In the latest set of adverts things take a turn for the surreal:
“I told Magnet I need some space to prepare food”.
“Why don’t we put in a special food preparation area” the Magnet Kitchen Designer suggested.
“Do you mean a *worktop*?” I asked the Magnet Kitchen Designer.
“We’ve got a smart one here!” said the Magnet Kitchen Designer.
Yes, it seems that Magnet have not only re-branded themselves but they’ve also re-branded everything in a kitchen that makes a kitchen a kitchen.
So in future adverts look out for people who Magnet sell:
- Special foodstuffs heating device (cooker)
- Special compartment to deposit vegetable peelings (bin)
- Special water-tight metal area to clense dirty plates (kitchen sink)
Listen here anyone thinking that Magnet Kitchen Designers are geniuseses: If a kitchen doesn’t have worktops, a cooker, cupboards, a sink etc. it’s not really a kitchen, it’s just another room.
So here’s my advice if you want a new kitchen, get down to the Early Learning Centre, buy some plastic blocks and have a bit of fun!
Just don’t kid yourself your an interior design genius.
(4.7)
10Responses:
Cath
January 18th, 2008 12:42 pm
My personal “favourite” was the one where the couple produce a pizza cutter because they like takeaway pizzas. So they don’t actually need a kitchen at all then.
Lee
January 19th, 2008 10:12 pm
Magnet are morons. It took them three attempts to deliver us the right kitchen. They got the measurements wrong twice. Getting them to care wasn’t easy. Dreadful company.
Keith
January 20th, 2008 5:25 pm
What I hate about these commercials is the superior holier than thou attitude the women talking about their prize kitchens adopt when talking down to those of us below the salt, who don’t have such luxuries as a lemon zester or a pizza cutter.
Silky
January 20th, 2008 6:31 pm
@ Cath - Yeah, that’s particularly well thought out isn’t it. Plus not only do they not need a kitchen for takeaway pizza, they don’t need a pizza cutter either because they normally come pre-cut!
Kitchen design
January 23rd, 2008 9:42 am
They are not really ‘kitchen designers’ they are salespeople! They are taught to ‘down design’ to keep the kitchen price down.
Silky
January 23rd, 2008 9:24 pm
That’s a fair point Kitchen Design (if that is your real name!) but obviously not what they claim in their adverts.
They are, however, brilliant at using a software package that works out the cost of your kitchen to be exactly the same price regardless of what you ask for thanks to the wonders of “discounts”.
Alex
January 28th, 2008 11:33 am
Hilarious.
Dave
February 3rd, 2008 12:08 pm
I agree with the original comments, some of the ‘kitchens’ featured are the size of an aircraft hangar; if I knocked all the walls down on the ground floor of my house I still wouldn’t be able to fit one of these kitchens in, lets have some realism for God’s sake.
Majjie
February 7th, 2008 2:26 pm
Well, as an independent kitchen designer, I rather object to being told that I don’t have a real job and that a 3 year old could do what I do with a set of plastic blocks!
It’s true that some kitchen designers ARE just trying to sell you a kitchen - try inviting Kitchens Direct or Space Kitchens, or any other direct sellers, into your home and that’ll become immediately obvious. It’s also true that some kitchen designers are not good at their jobs - but it’s not true that they don’t need to be. After all, if Lee’s kitchen designer HAD been any good - then the measurements wouldn’t have been wrong twice.
I design both tiny and enormous kitchens but the trend is actually towards larger kitchens … lots of people are knocking down walls or building extensions so that they can make their kitchens bigger.
If you want to get real, then blame the marketing people for the adverts - not the designers who probably knew nothing about it before they appeared.
Silky
February 7th, 2008 9:30 pm
To be fair Majjie I said “average 3 year old” there will obviously be some 3 year olds that can’t do it at all…
The piece is more of a cheap shot at Magnet “Kitchen Designers” who, from my experience, do little more than drag icons around a screen until they’ve made them fit in all the right holes.
I’d hate to undermine 12 years hard work on your part… as long as you don’t sell people “special food preparation areas”.
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