Kenco - The Decaf Sack
30 December 2007 by SilkyMr Makousa; he’s a bit of a git!
Splitting his days between drinking various different coloured cups of Kenco coffee and bullying the poor, ginger-haired Kenco Gap Year Student.
Yes, the Kenco Gap Year Student is currently filling the Frank Spencer shaped void on the TV. He’s an idiot who’s travelling the World looking for a village to settle down in. A boy so completely lacking in wit that he simply refuses to learn a damned thing about the high quality arabica coffee beans used by Kenco despite Mr Makousa telling him “a damned well thousand times, you idiot!”.
Which brings us to Mr Makousa.
Ah, Mr Makousa, why are you such a smug, self satisfied, sanctimonious bastard? What’s that? Much like the author of this blog, you say? The cheek!
When not sipping one of Kenco’s many fine cups of coffee or sorting out another bloody mess that cloth-eared Gap Year Student has created, he’s thinking up abysmal pun-based put-downs aimed at the Gap Year Student.
“Remind me again, who are you?”
“I’m your Gap Year Student, Mr Makousa”
“More like a gap between the ears!”
Ouch, Mr Makousa, you are a card!
But I find these adverts a little disturbing.
On top of the obvious bullying of the mentally retarded, I think there is something more sinister going on in this advert.
Kenco are certainly trying to depict Mr Makousa as “black plantation owner in Africa” for there is an African music sound track. But is this Kenco trying to make us think that all of their coffee is *Fair Trade* because the plantations they get their beans from are all run by *locals*?
If so, it’s a sham.
Because the plantation isn’t in Africa, it’s in Costa Rico (or at least it is in one of the adverts).
And, hark! What is that I can hear over the dulcet tones of the Africa choir? It’s Mr Makouza’s Home Counties’ accent (OK, it was originally North East but it’s definitely more Home Counties now).
I can’t help but feel that this advert plays on our inherent “it’s a black fella he must be African” racism, mixes it up with a little stunning foreign scenery then rams it home with some Ladysmith Black Mombassa to trick us into thinking their coffee is something that it might not necessarily be.
And all of the time they’re doing this they’re cleverly distracting up with some good old fashioned belly laughs at the decrepit.
Plus, Mr Makousa; he’s a bit of a git!
(4.7)
12Responses:
Phil
December 31st, 2007 12:03 pm
I’m going to have to break ranks here I’m afraid, and declare my love for this advert:
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to give you the sack…and the broom”
AHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh, Mr Makousa, when’s he going to learn?
DeeTee
January 2nd, 2008 5:56 pm
Mr Makousa was in Rising Damp all those years ago.
Silky
January 3rd, 2008 7:10 am
I dare say he learnt much about being a miserable old sod from Rigsby
Cliff
January 5th, 2008 10:09 pm
‘De-caff’ and ‘coffee’ are, in any event, a contradiction in terms. The blacker, the stronger,the more caffeine the better, so far as I’m concerned. We are really a load of wimps, wanting this rubbish. This on a par with the ads for those machines that make coffee from little plastic pots.
Phil
January 7th, 2008 12:08 pm
Rigsby wouldn’t have taken that shit from Makousa. His latent racism would probably have stopped him from even going to Africa on his gap year in the first place…
Dave
February 6th, 2008 11:17 am
This should be banned Makousa is clearly gingerist, I’m not ginger myself but I have ginger friends and they don’t need to be portrayed in this offensive manner.
Geoff_S
February 21st, 2008 3:52 pm
Hate to admit the message of any advert has crept into my brain, but I’ve a cup of dodgy tasting Kenco in front of me and my brain sings out ‘made with the same beans Kenco use in their ground coffee’. (subliminal message - all coffee makers except Kenco fill their jars of instant with crap beans & floor sweepings)
However what my Kenko jar actually says is ‘Only quality beans are used, including high quality Arabica beans, the same as you’ll find in our ground coffee’
No mention is given about the proportion of Arabica in the jar, so presumably 99% of the beans used are same bog standard one used in other bog standard coffee.
Now I’ve typed this - I’ve a dodgy cup of Kenko in front of me which tastes even more dodgy now it’s cold. Damn
Ray Kinsella
March 3rd, 2008 10:47 am
Re Kenko ad. Is “Gap Year” really Prince Harry?
Dave
March 3rd, 2008 12:47 pm
I think his name is Phil- ‘Phil the gap’ no, oh well please yer selves!
Charlotte
March 10th, 2008 4:53 pm
Ginger guy is my mate! He will never live it down!
Granny Farts
June 17th, 2008 10:50 am
Charlotte tell him i said he is an idiot
The gap year ginger boy
July 20th, 2008 3:26 pm
Dear Mr Makousa
since leaving your employ i have found myself earning a very good living filling other sacks down the back end of soho in the great city of london..however i still find the occasional coffee been lodged in my anal ring and i think back to that very first day you asked me to grab hold of your sack and give it a good yank as it where…..not knowing the laws of brazil at the time i find myself now wandering if being buggered by a nonce as yourself with a large coffe mug and a broom is some what illegal..i enclose copies of photgraphs and i await your large cheque….take care and have one for me big boy…..yours Ginger A Twat
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