Just For Men

27 July 2008 by Silky

Sometimes the bad ads submitted by TV’s Worst Adverts readers are one word long (usually that word is “Shit!”) then on the odd occasion there’s a gem of a rant against all things advert that turns up in my inbox.

Like this one from Marsten. So I’ll let him/her take it from here:

Apparently this Just for Men advert been around in the States for a while and, just like a bad case of diphtheria, it’s spread over here.

The entire concept hinges on the idea that the kids want their dad to dye his hair. Why does this matter so much to them? Well, they want a new mummy.

Isn’t that sweet?

No. No it’s not.

Implying that the entire gamut of issues facing single-parent families in our modern society can be solved by dying your hair, is fucking ridiculous.

Really, it’s no wonder that the man looks so surprised when he pulls down his newspaper (probably also due in part to having an entire tub of talcum powder tipped over his head during the make-up session for this advert) to be confronted by his kids – I’d be pretty fucking surprised too.

What the fuck is this? An advert for hair dye or an expose into childhood disenfranchisement and the gradual dissolution of the nuclear family?

Obviously what they DIDN’T film was the sequence that was due to take place in the middle, where the father explains to his kids with heartfelt tears flowing, just how difficult things have been since his beloved wife was killed, how he’s taken up drinking to quash the memories, and cries himself to sleep each night through a haze of misery and cheap whisky.

Oh wait, you mean that’s NOT what the advert was going for?

Well then maybe it should leave the idea of ‘kids who want a new mummy’ alone and stick to shilling out hair dye, then!

Because trying to bring serious issues like that into an advert for dye that has a tenancy to wash out, is ultimately about as funny as someone catching a new, rare form of cancer that causes them to set fire to an orphanage and stamp on puppies.

And it’s SO fucking sentimental and mushy, I swear I could just die in a puddle of my own vomit.

So what’s next for ‘Just for Men’? My guess, a heart-warming and sentimental advert about Jack, a quiet loner, who lures women into his basement, strangles them with fishing wire, and wears their skin. And he can do it all and overcome his quietness and lack of confidence, all thanks to Just for Men hair dye!

Nice one, Marsten.

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Just How Bad is this Ad?

(31 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5)

12Responses:

Dave

Said on the 28 July 2008

I too spotted this one Silky and almost lost my tea, the two kids are the cutesy type they only breed on American TV, thank God. In realliy one of the kids, a spotty juvenile would toss the box at his old man with a comment like ” Hey Pa use this on that grey thatch and you might get some action instead of ruining your eyesight jacking off to internet porn.” Much more plausable than the pile of sugar coated shite they’ve churned out here.
ElDiablo

Said on the 30 July 2008

They don’t need to worry, with that new brown hair he’ll be banging new mommy before the night is out.
So can we have a discussion on why Dad is single in the first place? Small Cock? Irritating Kids driving him to dispair? Caught poking his secretary? I wonder.
Kesmund

Said on the 4 August 2008

Got to get some some kids so I can pull some old Milf’s.
Mr A Reaper Esq

Said on the 6 August 2008

Well here’s another find advert to stir the loins of many a gary glitter fan thats for sure….Daddy get this on your hair and then you can find a right little slut to pull you off instead of doing your daughters twice weekly…..has this guy been investigated by the pedo squad..and have they checked his computer hard drive for photos of the girls rubbing just for men into his rather grey pubic hair let alone his bonce…on the mummy front she ended up being the fertilizer for the kids little garden and no one asks daddy why he has a skull for a pen holder on his desk do they…..see you all real soon……
Jack

Said on the 8 August 2008

I cant even understand the two little children..but oh yeh its american.
Kernowted

Said on the 19 August 2008

Hey i get more pussy action now than i ever did before now my hair is grey,so how does this work!
Wendy

Said on the 26 November 2008

They’ve just hoisted in on us in the UK. When the kids tell their dad that he could be quite a ‘catch’ they are perpetuating the bizarre belief that women ‘catch’ partners. A trivial point given the fundamentally abhorrant nature of this advert.
rudolf hess

Said on the 3 January 2009

the video has been removed.
Grimer

Said on the 19 January 2009

This advert is disgusting. Playing upon the loss of the children’s mother to guilt the bereaved father into buying hair dye? WTF?

From a purely commercial perspective, this is surely a pretty small demographic to aim for?
James

Said on the 27 March 2009

the father should baulk at their suggestion then say

“you know why your mother left us?….. It because she hated you two, she couldn’t stand your putrid little faces any longer and quite frankly I can’t really blame her. And why on earth are you speaking in an American accent? you were born and raised in Barnsley like me. …go and start cooking my dinner”
fishbonealic

Said on the 3 April 2009

The most insulting advert in the long history of risible ads? Is there REALLY any man out there who believes dying his hair a peculiar shade of deep purple will increase his chances of dipping his wick? More worryingly if he does exist, as this piece of shit implies, how the hell did he get a woman in the first place? Something this heart-stoppingly obnoxious could only come from the US.
Mel

Said on the 30 May 2009

Not to worry… in 6 months the evil stepmother will have come out of her shell, sent the kids packing to boarding school and be working on murdering dear old daddy to claim the insurance….