Sometimes the bad ads submitted by TV’s Worst Adverts readers are one word long (usually that word is “Shit!”) then on the odd occasion there’s a gem of a rant against all things advert that turns up in my inbox.

Like this one from Marsten. So I’ll let him/her take it from here:

Apparently this Just for Men advert been around in the States for a while and, just like a bad case of diphtheria, it’s spread over here.

The entire concept hinges on the idea that the kids want their dad to dye his hair. Why does this matter so much to them? Well, they want a new mummy.

Isn’t that sweet?

No. No it’s not.

Implying that the entire gamut of issues facing single-parent families in our modern society can be solved by dying your hair, is fucking ridiculous.

Really, it’s no wonder that the man looks so surprised when he pulls down his newspaper (probably also due in part to having an entire tub of talcum powder tipped over his head during the make-up session for this advert) to be confronted by his kids - I’d be pretty fucking surprised too.

What the fuck is this? An advert for hair dye or an expose into childhood disenfranchisement and the gradual dissolution of the nuclear family?

Obviously what they DIDN’T film was the sequence that was due to take place in the middle, where the father explains to his kids with heartfelt tears flowing, just how difficult things have been since his beloved wife was killed, how he’s taken up drinking to quash the memories, and cries himself to sleep each night through a haze of misery and cheap whisky.

Oh wait, you mean that’s NOT what the advert was going for?

Well then maybe it should leave the idea of ‘kids who want a new mummy’ alone and stick to shilling out hair dye, then!

Because trying to bring serious issues like that into an advert for dye that has a tenancy to wash out, is ultimately about as funny as someone catching a new, rare form of cancer that causes them to set fire to an orphanage and stamp on puppies.

And it’s SO fucking sentimental and mushy, I swear I could just die in a puddle of my own vomit.

So what’s next for ‘Just for Men’? My guess, a heart-warming and sentimental advert about Jack, a quiet loner, who lures women into his basement, strangles them with fishing wire, and wears their skin. And he can do it all and overcome his quietness and lack of confidence, all thanks to Just for Men hair dye!

Nice one, Marsten.