GoToMyPC.co.uk
12 February 2009 by SilkyHere’s a bad ad submission from Simon that I’m publishing virtually in full as I suspect it will help bring to end what’s probably been a very cathartic journey for him:
“Arrgghh, the gotomypc advert!
Two businessmen are about to give a presentation to the board. But, oh no disaster “The presentation is on the office computer”.
You’re in a presentation. The clue as to what to bring is in the meeting title. But the fucking idiot has forgotten it. Left it on his machine in the office. What a fuck nuts.
But come on, it’s happened to all of us, hasn’t it? Hmm. Not me, John.
Options open to him at this point:
1. Apologise and make up some bullshit file corruption error. Maybe wing a manual presentation, you know, like people who know what they’re talking about.
2. Get a squadron of birds to steal his work PC and bring it into the presentation (or pre-sentation, if you come from where the ad’s from). Please Note: If you’re going to do this, you’ll need some Wagner going on and some hilarious fluttering about. Give it some drama since, you know, I’m rooting for this dunce.
3. Ask to borrow a PC or to connect his laptop to their internet connection; opening a completely unapproved line with the outside world (Jack Bauer would word this better, but I’m so enraged…). Or maybe he could get all hi-tech and use his modem as a wireless for his laptop. But he’d probably struggle with this one; seeing as he’s got a presentation that day, and has forgetten to bring it with him. In fact the chances are his feet are still wet from trying to work out how to use the toilet that morning.
It’s your pick. 1, 2 or 3.
If you picked any of the above, you’re still in a presentation and you still look like an arse.”
Nice one, Simon. Hope it’s made you feel better.
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(21 votes, average: 4.14 out of 5)
34Responses:
Simon
Said on the 13 February 2009
Damn I was annoyed that day, and it was a “proposal”, not “presentation”, I just couldn’t bring myself to do the research.
I’m sure I wrote tons more, but it could have just over-spilled into an email to my mother. That would explain a lot…
Mike Beach
Said on the 15 February 2009
I hate it when it suddenly switches to the cartoon segment. It just smells of ‘Whats our Demographic?’ The words ‘Hotel’ pop up and then some cartoon twit on his laptop with an expresso. GRRRRRRRRRR. Hate it.
Mike Beach
Said on the 15 February 2009
GRRRRR I love it.
Andy
Said on the 16 February 2009
What if his office pc is a) not switched on, or b) not logged on.
And why if he has a laptop, does he have an office PC anyway? Not heard of a docking station?
Obviously some unsecured piece of shit software that has the likes of Cisco shaking in their boots.
Simon
Said on the 16 February 2009
He only has a laptop at the start of the advert. By the end he’s managed to lose that as well.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 16 February 2009
“Obviously some unsecured piece of shit software that has the likes of Cisco shaking in their boots.”
He’d probably ring the helpline if there was a powercut too…..
Jason
Said on the 18 February 2009
Andy – you don’t have the faintest clue what you’re talking about. The product itself is outstanding. It’s totally reliable, astoundingly performant and architected to be very secure. It’s operated by Citrix – one of the biggest and most respected blue chip IT companies in the world.
ali
Said on the 18 February 2009
i haven’t a clue about the product, but I actually quite like this. Probably cos im a dick.
Simon
Said on the 18 February 2009
Jason – it may be totally reliable, outstanding, etc., etc., but the advert simply does not portray that (OK, it says that it’s reliable and award winning, but it’s portrayed as a cheap-ass back street knock-up).
I personally would never look beyond this advert into the product because of how outstanding and reliable *it* isn’t.
Still, you learn something new every day. Looks like Citrix has rebranded since I last looked at them, which is bizarre, since their last logo seemed to act as a badge of endorsement on all the products that their sub-companies released.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 18 February 2009
“Citrix” are they along the lines of BASF?
Jason
Said on the 18 February 2009
It was originally a service operated by a company called expertcity. Citrix bought them a few years ago and put their products under a new subdivision brand called Citrix Online. They don’t push the Citrix logo on the marketing because most of the target audience won’t know who Citrix are. Citrix improved the product significantly. I use it every day to access a machine at a client’s site. Best thing about it is how it totally side-steps any proxy / firewall hassles. As long as the machine you want to access has https access out to the internet, you can just reach it.
Alex
Said on the 18 February 2009
Wow Jason, are you one of their sales people. I want to buy their stuff now. FYI
Jason
Said on the 18 February 2009
I should be
Alex
Said on the 18 February 2009
Why?
Jason
Said on the 18 February 2009
Because I evangelize about it that much.
Simon
Said on the 19 February 2009
Are you any good at making adverts? No matter how good their product may be, the advert is appalling, so they sure could do with some help there.
I have had no problems using RDC/VNC over the years (and carrying everything I need on a USB key), but then I don’t give proposals very often.
Just how many companies do Citrix own now?!
Jason
Said on the 19 February 2009
Hmm, other ones that spring to mind are Xensource and Netscaler. I’m sure there are loads of others though.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 19 February 2009
I was right!!! Citrix – Invisible contribution, useless fucking ad.
Andy
Said on the 21 February 2009
I probably should have researched GoToMyPC more then, I work in the IT industry and didn’t know Citrix was the platform for this solution. It comes back to why this advert is shite though. If you’re a company looking to provide remote working for your staff, you wouldn’t wait for something to pop up on TV, you’d go out to tender for tried and tested solutions like Citrix/Cisco VPN.
Either way, this is a shit advert, and needs to die.
Andy
Said on the 21 February 2009
Further to my original point, it still wont work if your pc isn’t logged in/switched on.
danielle
Said on the 22 February 2009
Snoozfest haw borrin
Rich - Benidorm
Said on the 21 March 2009
I use it and it seems a good product. I would never use it in a presentation as it’s a bit slow, but to check my work emails and reply as if I’m still in the office and to work with all my files without having to copy anything or take things away, it’s great.
But I’m sure that guy could just borrow a keyboard now that he’s gone to all that effort to get the P.Cto him?
MT
Said on the 24 March 2009
Nice points Andy!
I am an official representative of MyGreenPC and our service precisely takes care of the issues you mentioned. In short, with MyGreenPC you can:
1. Power-On your PC remotely.
2. Log-in to your PC via a Windows Integrated solution.
3. Have a full-featured Windows experience, just as if you’re sitting in front of it.
4. Shutdown the PC to save energy while you’re not using it remotely.
5. Repeat the process any number of times you like
Please visit our website for more info:
http://www.mygreenpc.com.
Btw, we are still in beta testing phase and our expected launch date is end of this week. Have a good day!
Lefinch
Said on the 19 July 2009
It’s the fact that training a bunch of pigeons to safely bring you various computer components spontaneously to your location and drop them down in the correct place exactly where you need them IS NOT FUCKING ENOUGH FOR THE GUY because apparently, they forgot the keyboard.
That’s your problem is it? Man, I bet it’s impossible to find a freaking keyboard in an office. Even if you did, it’s way harder to plug in a keyboard than say, train a small squadron of flying rodents to drop your dell off at work on command.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 18 October 2009
You know, I only just realised.. This guy can train pidgeons to work as a team to identify a specific computer, disassemble it, fly it across the city, and reconstruct it at the other end!!
I have several questions…
(1) How do you train pidgeons to do that?
(2) How do you think to train pidgeons to do that?
(3) If you can train pidgeons to do that, why the hell are you still working in an office?? Surely a circus would be a better place for pidgeon tricks??
(4) Why does the phrase “Pidgeon Tricks” sound slightly dirty in my mind?
If anyone can answer any of these questions I would be very appreciative…
Pigeon
Said on the 18 October 2009
What is a piDgeon?
Dick Dastardly
Said on the 18 October 2009
Catch the pigeon!
Muttley!! Do something!!
Archer
Said on the 19 October 2009
I think you’ll find ‘pidgeon’ is a variant form of ‘pigeon’. Check the Oxford English Dictionary if you don’t believe me.
Pigeon
Said on the 19 October 2009
Pigeon is the correct spelling, pidgeon may well be a variant form but that doesn’t mean it is correct usage in the English language.
Archer
Said on the 19 October 2009
Pigeon is the more usual spelling, but there are plenty of examples of ‘pidgeon’ in written texts dating back (at least) to Shakespeare.
I’m interested in your criteria for ‘correct usage’ though. Many words in English exist in several variant forms (e.g. civilization and civilisation). Both are correct, though some forms become the favoured or more regular in common usage.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 19 October 2009
Thank you to my official spellchecker,
Also…
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pidgeon&page=2
If you had any smattering of knowledge you would know that the common misspelling of pigeon into pidgeon has another connotation, it being slang for a right twat.. Who, I ask, has made a misspelling here??
Pigeon
Said on the 19 October 2009
Pigeon
Said on the 19 October 2009
Coo
Sophie
Said on the 23 February 2010
Saw this ad for the first time last night and it made me laugh. As did Simon’s ‘critique’. I take your point, Simon, the guy in the ad is a fuckwit but a troupe of pigeons delivering the hardware would come as a welcome relief to most of the presentations I have to attend! lol