Glade – Touch and Fresh It’s All Gone
8 June 2007 by SilkyDo you know what I really hate about doing shits?
It’s not that I always have to do one when I get to the in-laws’ house and that their toilet is right next to the living room so everyone can hear me straining (I know this to be true, I have heard others *plop*). And it’s not that thanks to my diet of pie, chips and brown ale that passing a stool is more difficult than squeezing Barry Austen through a turnstiles at St Andrews.
It’s that my shit doesn’t smell of the sweetest rose but of, quite frankly, shit.
Here’s a funny thing, some times I do ones that smell so bad I actually lose the ability to speak and I can only communicate through the use of rudimentary drawings.
Unbelievable but true.
Here’s one I passed (no pun intended) to the good lady wife just the other day:
We keep all my poo related notes on the refrigerator door, you know, next to my Wanking-Olympics winner’s rosettes, and that picture of me with Bernard Manning.
Oh, the memories.
I thought that I was the only one that suffered from dump-dumbness until I saw the Kid in the Glade Touch and Fresh advert:
I can’t tell you how relieved I was as I watched the kid slip the note under the door. Actually I can tell you. I was as relieved as I was when I finally broke the two week constipation that had my back door locked tight after a trip to Minsk in ’99. Mighty relieved.
Anyway, hats-off to Glade for trying to help cure me of my complaint, but you know what, I think I might keep doing the notes anyway. Yeah, you’d be surprised at how much fun doing crayon drawings is, particularly with your trousers down….
Note: This TVs Worst Adverts article was dubbed from the original Cantonese.
Thanks to Donna for submitting this Bad Ad.
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(146 votes, average: 4.57 out of 5)
42Responses:
DaveP
Said on the 11 June 2007
Absolutely pmsl, that is quality. I’ll be featuring that video on YouTube Digger this week, it’s too good
A diet of pie, chips and brown ale? Do you eat at the same places I do?
Weaver
Said on the 28 August 2007
The mums a milf though
Dr Rooth M Diskin
Said on the 29 October 2007
That is really creepy! and a bit unhygenic, I thinks,
However, how does this child have the time (or resources) to draw a perfect picture of the touchy spray thing anyway?
How bizzare!
timmymagic
Said on the 6 November 2007
Thats the funnies tthing Ive read in a while! I pissed myself laughing so much i had to jot it on a note, scan it and email it to my girlfriend.
I think the reason why they couldnt bother getting a kid who was at least from the same continent was for his amazing ability to talk without his lips moving at the same speed.
steve
Said on the 11 December 2007
arrgghhh! i nearly got a nose bleed from pissing myself laughing too hard!
funniest thing i’ve seen in ages.
What the?
Said on the 5 January 2008
Man I got that stuff in my eyes. Now that burnt.
But eh where the crap did he get the pen and paper? Oh…I got it Glade comes with a pen and paper or… he used his shit to draw with but then how fluently can you draw with shit?
Katherine
Said on the 31 January 2008
i hate this advert..its classic cheese! More worryingly – pen and paper on the floor..but he is miles from the door..how would he have time to jump off the bog to get his pen and paper, draw a pic for mummy, pass it through the door and then jump back on the bog when hes on there for a reason?!
Dave
Said on the 6 February 2008
I hate this ad, all the comments that come to mind are terribly un-pc so I’ll keep them to myself.
Jellyfish McSaveloy
Said on the 7 February 2008
Damn stuff makes your bathroom smell like a pub urinal as it seems to be a liquid form of the nasty blue urinal cakes they use. Mmmm…just how I always wanted my bog to smell. It’s fitting that the ad stinks too I suppose.
Ron Atkinson
Said on the 10 February 2008
The kid’s a skilled ventriloquist (sp, irrelevant). I find it quite horrible seeing some kid cat on the toilet. They should ban this nonsense.
Joanna Butler
Said on the 11 February 2008
stupid kid, crimping off a length and then walking off the bog drawing a picture of an airfreshner….
Stuart Cameron
Said on the 25 February 2008
The kids mum isn’t Asian and he is? What’s that about?
chris
Said on the 5 March 2008
i hate this friggin advert.
just about to rant about it on my website.
http://iliketorant.com
Emile
Said on the 5 March 2008
Mum its all gone
Well stop eating the bloody stuff you twat
R E Krishna
Said on the 31 March 2008
The trouble is of course that air fresheners never remove the offending odour, they just attempt to overwhelm it. So what you end up with is the smell of a pine forest in spring with a sewage farm in it. Worse still if the same air freshener is used innocently in the kitchen, you can’t help but smell the shit, and it’s not ene there!! Now that’s scary.
Mike
Said on the 5 April 2008
Would so love to hoof the little prat down the U bend.
embo
Said on the 13 April 2008
R E Krishna – thats why you need oust my friend
the voice is immediately annoying.
to be fair i’d rather have the subtitles instead of watching something that looks like very bad lip synching.
and yes how very un-hygienic.
why did he need to get off the toilet to post a note to his mother?
why would there be a crayon and a sheet of paper in the bathroom?
why couldnt he just have told her?
stupid boy.
and does anyone else think his drawing style looks very similar to the guy off Blues Clues?
or am i the only one that used to watch that?
yes used to.
i dont anymore, honest.
R E Krishna
Said on the 1 May 2008
The point is, if you spend 30 mins or so in the bog dumping for England, chances are the room’s gonna smell of shit. That fact shouldn’t really come as a surprise to anyone with half a braincell. In addition, as we are all guilty of similar pollution, none of us has any right to get sanctimonious about it. The notion that somehow a squirt of some fluid or other could erase the pong, is frankly absurd. As for Oust, don’t go much on it really, doesn’t taste too bad with lots of lemonade though.
Bex
Said on the 8 May 2008
Yeh, so basically, this little boy has been brainwashed into all the pointless gimics of modern living. He therefore can not shit without a mounted airfreshener. However he does not realise that the airfreshener is empty until he is sat on the toilet-and yet he blatantly can’t reach said mounted airfreshener from said toilet. So the little boy gets off the loo, after shouting, and does not know the words “Mounted airfreshener” and so draws a beautiful picture with the crayon and paper he so handily keeps in the bath, and shoves it under the door so his mum can come in and replace the propably too expensive-for-what-it-is-ie-a-piece-of-plastic-with-scented-bog-water-in-it refil.
Is that right?
OK but…Why the fuck didn’t he just open the door in the first place and save all the hassel? She had to come in anyway to put it in!
Daniel
Said on the 19 May 2008
It’s odd that the kid keeps pens and paper next to the toilet, but also that the air freshener is so ridiculously high for him to reach anyway that, smell or no smell, it’s a useless invention to him.
ally
Said on the 22 May 2008
mother and child are different nationalities, crayons and paper kept in the toilet, boy presumably getting off toilet to go to door without flushing or anything else. mother checking on a capable childs bowel movements. child worryingly disappointed about a trivial air freshner problem..
did this ad get anything right?
ps.. welcoming scent of home.. from the loo??
R E Krishna
Said on the 23 May 2008
They obviously chose to show a normal everyday situation we can all identify with. Of course as a grown-up I keep a fountain pen and college notebook in my toilet. No crayons for me.
De'ath
Said on the 29 May 2008
She should have rubbed his slanty eyed face in it and then took a large shovel and battered his fucking head in….using the shovel afterwards to bury the cunt…..or perhaps she would use his head as a toilet roll cover……
Crimewave
Said on the 8 June 2008
Surely the kid would find it easier to replace the thing himself instead of calling “his mother”, OR is it supposed to mean the mother went all the way to the shop??
Either way a totally retarded advert, even the one with the raining fish and flowers in the living room is better.
p.s. the bathroom is effing massive!
Rose
Said on the 18 July 2008
What I can’t get about this ad is that the boy passes a note to his mum to tell her that the thing has run out (where does he get paper and crayons in the loo? Why is mum not supervising such a young child on the loo?) but mum then *comes in* to ‘fix’ this terrible ‘problem’ that It’s All Gone. Right, so he’s so private in the loo that he has to pass a note to descirbe that the air freshener is gone, but then she charges in to boy with trousers still around ankles to refill the Glade. And she doesn’t seem to be choking on the smell either, so why bother?
DivineMrsM
Said on the 20 July 2008
Hate to tell you, but although it looks like a foreign and redubbed advert, it was made for the UK market. The actress who is playing the mother is a Londoner. That’s not her voice though…
elize potgieter
Said on the 11 August 2008
well every one has a problem with toilet odours, i work for the company with the best solution, its an extractor fan in the toilet that extracts odours right underneath you while using it. from personal experience, there is no better option, search toilet friend and find out for yourself
R E Krishna
Said on the 10 October 2008
An odour extractor for the toilet pan eh? Don’t do it else the shit will hit the fan.
Ian
Said on the 4 November 2008
This is just so bad….
Plus why does the mother not wait till he’s finished before she comes in!
Also is anyone else slightly disturbed by the tag, touch and fresh.
Smithery Baggins
Said on the 2 August 2009
I struggle to think of a worse ad than this in the whole of tv history. Hate it, Hate it, Hate it, Hate it, Hate it, Hate it, Hate it, Hate it, Hate it.
Drayman
Said on the 16 August 2009
Money saving tip: After having a crap, open the window.
Phil
Said on the 17 August 2009
A better money-saving tip: Go and have a poo at Paul’s.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 17 August 2009
Even better money saving tip: ask Gillian McKeith if she wants to come and pick it up…
Muttley
Said on the 21 August 2009
This ad is bad on so many levels.
First of all, why does this Pissant’s shit smell so bad. I mean what the hell is he eating? Perhaps the solution is not to cover up the smell of a turd from a chinky arse, but make him eat foods that won’t cause the problem in the first place.
Also, if the little bastard can get up from the toilet with a shitty arse, and walk to the door where he slides his drawing, why cant he just get up and open the window?
Why has his mother not told him about proper etiquette? If your shit stinks, keep quiet and open the frickin window. If it were my house, I would grab [*] the greasy log he just dropped and whack him on the head with it. Stop fouling up the frikkin place.
[*] Assuming it is grabbable (with a stink like that – it may not be possible)
[*] using gloves of course.
[*] better yet – make him grab it and whack himself with it. Now Draw that you little Bastard.
HertsHoops
Said on the 25 August 2009
The comments above are hilarious, but no one has touched on one thing that make this advert particularly ineffective in terms of selling the product. One obvious DISADVANTAGE of Glade Touch ‘n’ Fresh is that it runs and and needs to be refilled. Yet this advert is built around a surreal scenario in which this is shoved in the faces of the punter as if this downside were a selling point. Weird.
Daniel Newton
Said on the 15 September 2009
Thats clearly not her child, so why is she so facinated with standing at the door listing/watching him have a shit? and then the question has to be asked as to whos child that is? did she adopt or did she steel him?
Then i must ask why she has crayons and paper in her bathroom…but achually when i think about it there obv there to tise small childeren into her bathroom so she can get off watching and listining to them having a shit!
Jake anderson
Said on the 12 October 2009
I’m fed up with all these hideous adverts Glade keep producing!
I wish they would just give it a rest, I’m sick of having there ‘Motion Sensor’ shoved in my face every time I watch the telly! Then watching the man running around trying to set it off again but ‘its not wasteful’ as the woman tells us; strangely enough she seems to have some sort of brain damage (as do all of Glades actors) as her mouth fails to move with her voice – come to think of its it’s just extremely bad dubbing.
And what is with all there constant bashing of this ‘Motion Sensor’? I feel like Screaming at the telly “ITS JUST A MOTION SENSOR FOR GOD SAKE” they act as if its changed there lives forever… as for the arse hole that runs around in front of the thing trying to make it go off again just who in the world would act like that? Then suddenly her lips move and 10 seconds later we here her say “What the fuck are you doing” sorry “its not wasteful because it wont go off again for another 30 mins” – again BIG WOW Glade.
I just wish they would sort out the hideous bad dubbing they use.
rik o shea
Said on the 28 October 2009
why buy any of this shit anyway ? get a copy of THE FRAGRANT PHARMACY by valerie ann worwood and make your own, Superior scent ,safe, and wont give your kids asthma, what are you waiting for?
Dannielle Newton
Said on the 29 October 2009
I love that book. x
rik o shea
Said on the 29 October 2009
every home should have a copy ,there are alternatives to all this mass produced chemical laden crap foisted on us daily.
poo hater
Said on the 22 April 2010
I like the idea of the “motion sensor” hopefully when activated it sprays the annoying little ventriloquist dummy with his own motion, presumably he draws pictures for her because it takes him 5 minutes to speak after opening his mouth, also maybe he’s Japanese and has retractable arms, they’re very clever with their technology you know.
muttley
Said on the 22 July 2010
I heard the spash sound from a dump from a chinky arse is delayed by a few seconds…..just like in the movies.
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