Ford Kuga – Blank Canvas
22 May 2008 by SilkyA blank canvas. A carte blanche. A free hand. Do whatever you want.
Sounds great, doesn’t it?
Well, except for the fact that there’re few things more terrifying that the prospect of having no rules at all. Trying to comprehend the possibilities of complete freedom is enough to make your brain go all Halliwell on your arse and for you to curl up in a ball on the floor whilst gently sobbing for your mother.
That’s why when we have the choice to do whatever we want, so many of us end up doing nothing at all (or writing blogs about adverts and the such).
So, that’s my thoughts on freedom – it’s not all it cracked up to be – some times you need rules to stop you from becoming a gibbering wreck.
Anyway, here’s a question for you:
Do you remember the Ford Cougar?
It was a “sport saloon” (according to the internet) and Ford sold about 3 of them in the UK (according to my brain) in the late 90′s.
For those that remember the car this might sound like quite a high estimate of actual cars sold but I know they sold at least one because I worked with a bloke that had one. Can you believe he was a smug, middle-class, bell-end with a misplaced opinion of himself and a bad taste in woolly jumpers and a worse taste in cars? And, using water tight logic, seeing as I worked with like 50 people I figure they probably sold two more.
Anyway the Cougar was named after the “large, tawny cat, Felis concolor, of North and South America: now greatly reduced in number and endangered in some areas” (thanks Dictionary.Com) where as the wholly differently named Kuga – the new SUV from Ford – means “we like the name ‘Cougar’ but we already used it on another car”.
But believe me, “Cougar” and “Kuga” are two very different names. They’re spelt different for a start. Look:
“Cougar” and “Kuga”.
See?
And go on, say them out loud.
“Cougar”
“Kuga”
“Cougar”
“Kuga”
Hear? Sound different too, don’t they?
“What do you drive?” Someone might ask you.
“A Ford Cougar” you might reply.
“What are you, a smug middle-class bell-end from the late 90′s?” they might mock.
“No, I said Kuga. Totally different name.” you might be forced to say.
“Oh, I misheard.” they might apologise.
Here’s another question for you:
Do you know the difference between the Ford Maverick and the Nissan Terrano?
If you say you do, then you’re either talking about the name badge or you’re a liar. Because they were the same. Built in the same factory by the same Spaniards.
By sharing the costs, it’s less expensive to build a new car, you see, so there’s more money in the coffers for the annual hunting trip to shoot Kugas (or at least something that sounds like a Kuga) in North and South America.
Here’s a final question for you:
Have you heard of the Nissan Qashqui?
Hhm, I thought you might have.
Now, I’m not implying that the Kuga and the Qashqui are the same. It’s just I can’t help but think that the canvas that Ford started drawing the new Kuga on wasn’t quite as blank as they’d like us to believe.
The Kuga’s probably a much better car for it too.



(8 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)




7Responses:
Gina
Said on the 24 May 2008
They might have gone for a ‘blank canvas’ but it still looks like a car, and an ugly car at that.
jai
Said on the 20 July 2008
it doesn’t just look like a car – it looks like every other car of that mpv/suv type
the advert makes NO sense – unless it’s meant to be ironic
“wouldn’t it be great to start with a blank canvas?” and then they’re implying that unfortuantely Ford weren’t able to and so just copied the mercedes and vw and nissans and all the others that they’re trying to compete with
sarah
Said on the 21 October 2008
If you look closely at the sky, in the advert, there,s a huge ‘Chemtrail’
And sometimes it really sounds like she,s singing “dumb down, dumb down, dumb down, dumb down, dumb dumb dumb dumb!
King Lamus
Said on the 21 February 2009
Hahhaahhahahaa, what the fuck man, stick to B rate critique and leave the philosophy to Lao Tzu
rik o shea
Said on the 24 October 2009
somebody at the ad agency is dikleksic ,lekdislik ,dicklikesik , dykelicksic, or just cant spell.
rik o shea
Said on the 25 October 2009
fords are for chavs , they cant afford a proper car.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 10 November 2009
My friend said he was going out Cougar hunting… I was horrified.. Cougars are beautiful animals and hunting for sport is just wrong. He then started to give me this earwax and brian melting explaination that a “cougar” is a “street” way of saying he was going to “grab a granny” at the pub.. (his words) It was at this point I had to beat him, repeatedly, with my second best cricket bat, not for chasing older women, but for insulting my ears with his stupid, stupid words..
Let this be a lesson to all people. You do not come from the streets of LA. (unless you do, in which case give the computer back to whoever it’s been stolen from) You don’t need to spout shite to be liked (unless you do, in which case you should just check out now) If you must talk like this, you are an annoying sock cooker……