Flora Buttery - Gary Rhodes’ Mission
4 November 2008 by SilkyGary Rhodes is on a mission.
A mission to see if taking the bucketful of dirty cash from Flora makes up for sobbing himself to sleep every night since selling his spiky haired soul to a margarine company?
No, not really, Silly.
He’s on a mission to see which is better: Flora Buttery or a euphemistically named “leading spreadable from a butter brand” (or Lurpak Lighter Spreadable as the small print simultaneously tells us).
And there’s only one way to find out which is better… FIGHT!
Oh no, that’s a different programme.
It turns out the only way to actually find out which *is* better is to travel round the shopping centres of this once great country in a bright yellow VW Camper Van with a giant, half-eaten crumpet on the roof.
A feat that is so undignified that he may as well have strapped himself to the bonnet naked from the waist down, covered his buttocks with lashing of Flora Buttery and screamed “FLORA BUTTERY MAKES YOUR BUNS TASTIER” at passers-by as he’s slowly driven round the Coventry ring road.
Ironically kissing good bye to his last ounce of self-respect with his own ring, as he goes.
And amazingly there’s worse news yet for Gary; after doing all the terribly derogatory stuff in the shopping centres it turns out that the survey produced results that would make a cosmetics company hang its head in shame.
48% of the 200 people Gary Rhodes could bring himself to ask chose Flora Buttery. That’s a whopping 96 people.
Only 45% chose Lurpak Lighter Spreadable. That’s a minuscule 90 people.
The small print on screen also has the decency to tell us that 7% had no preference. These 14 heroes of our time are the only glimpse of sanity in this ridiculous “6 people prefer our spread” fiasco of an advert by simply stating that they had no preference as to what they spread on their crumpets before cramming them down their offence hole.
I imagine that Lurpak are devastated by these findings and I really can’t see a way for them to find a way back into the spreadables - or “butterique”, as I like to call it - market after that result.
I. Really. Can’t.
Or as I mean to say: 3% variance on such a small sample actually means “Sweet Fanny Adams”.
Spread that one on your crumpet Flora.
Just How Bad is this Ad?
14 Votes
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8Responses:
Hannah
Said on the 4 November 2008
PLUS- Gary Rhodes features on UKTV Food which is sponsored by Lurpak! The hypocrisy!
Helsie
Said on the 4 November 2008
I love these adverts, if only for the bad-ad-maths. Wow! 48% of people- well, that must be at least a gazillion then. Or 96 back on planet reality.
I’m blinded with science! But with modern educational standards being what they are ie easy peasy no-one will really notice the truth, written in teeny writing at the bottom of the screen for half a second. Phew. Do you think the crumpet might roll magestically off the roof, flattening Gary Rhodes and ending the whole sordid affair?….
Ian
Said on the 5 November 2008
As an economist, I wouldn’t use that sample to show anything, especially when he’s travelling across the country. What did he only manage to speak to 5 people a day?
Pete
Said on the 5 November 2008
Gary Rhodes buttery buttocks , curse you Silky, that’s an image that will take much drink to make disappear
Helsie
Said on the 6 November 2008
Maybe Gary only managed to speak to 5 people a day re his buttery crumpets as they were the weak, the sick & the lame i.e. those not quick enough to escape the spiky haired, wooden-limbed, cyborg dancing fool, driving around in a crumpet topped VW camper….
Well really, would you chat to him, or avoid eye contact eh?
Mrs Anne Adams
Said on the 29 November 2008
wher can you buy Flora Buttery as I cannot find in my local suppermarket?
Lynsey
Said on the 30 November 2008
I made my first ever complaint to Advertising Standards when I saw this advert! And now they’ve changed it. Respect statistics forevermore!
Silky
Said on the 2 December 2008
Good for you, Lynsey!
I’ve not noticed the changes yet, I must pay more attention…
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