Clubland Xtreme Hardcore 4
February 26th, 2008Note to reader: This ad has been hanging round TWA like a bad smell for some time now without me writing about it. So apologies that it might not be currently shown on TV.
Musical taste is an *xtremely* subjective matter. And I suppose that, just as “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, good music is in the ear of the, er, behearer.
Here’s a confession for you: although often maligned, I actually quite like dance music. There’s something primal about it, you can’t help to move. A bit like Tyres from Spaced. He hears the phone ringing, he hears the kettle boiling, he hears Colin chewing a bone and he can’t help but dance.
I love the electronic sounds used in dance music. You see, as a child I always wanted to live in the future when I grew up (which turns out to be the case) but those electronic noise make me think that I am in an episode of the Jetsons. Not the sub-stylophone ones but the big fat bass one. Yes, one is fairly prone to a bit of bass in one’s mother-fucking face. There’s nothing quite like feeling your internal organs vibrate to the music.
But I think it’s fair to say I’m not in the majority here. In fact, I’d even go as far as saying hardcore dance music, probably, isn’t the nations favourite musical genre (”Hold the front page!”).
This is possibly because most peoples’ experience of hardcore dance is blasted at high volume from a Nova (Side point: Do Kevs (as they were known in my day) still drive Nova’s (as they did in my day)?) passing at high speed.
What’s more, dance music comes into it’s own when you’re in a club actually dancing to it (possibly whilst drunk/buzzing nuts off). Trying to get the same level of enjoyment out of it at home is a bit like complaining that taking Ymea doesn’t really do anything for you when a). you’re not going through the menopause and b). you’re a man.
So it’s wrong for us on the outside of the UK’s xtreme hardcore clubland scene to tar it with the “hardcore dance music is shit” brush.
Or it would be if it weren’t for the fact that hardcore dance music is shit.
And this advert does nothing to help it’s image:
Just look at the people in the advert. Look at them! Oh, the humanity!
I can only imagine that the advert was filmed at a party for people from a council estate celebrating just how rough they are.
Yes, this is one of the cheapest looking adverts doing the rounds in the last few months.
So maybe it’s snobbery that stops me from liking hardcore dance music or maybe is that’s bloody incessant high tempo electronic drum beat playing constantly under that atonal drone and cat calling.
I’m just not sure.
(4.7)
16Responses:
Mike Empuria
February 26th, 2008 9:30 pm
Oh Shit!
As much as it hurts me to say this but Silky, you are missing the point.
I hate to haf to out myself from dis middle class persona but you gotta now that suuma is only sum munths away and that uz hardcore rockabilyy hitmen cant weight for the ibiza sound of 2008 to hit our iPods. Tiz is why we need sum sounds over the winter.
Rock down or out
MC Mike
Mike Empuria
February 26th, 2008 9:31 pm
PS
line three, forth word should read dat.
Sorry
Mike Empuria
February 26th, 2008 9:33 pm
PPS
FOURTH!!!!!
(going to bed now)
Mike Empuria
February 26th, 2008 9:36 pm
PPPS
Any chance of editing the last couple of comments and still making me look cool?
Mike Empuria
February 26th, 2008 9:37 pm
Fuck.
Gorilla good. SJP Bad
Jonny Chestwig
February 26th, 2008 9:39 pm
Face-explodingly bad. It reminds a bit of that Futurama episode where Nixon invites all the robots to the Galapagos for a ‘party’ only to try and kill them all. I’m fantasising about setting up an X-TRME HRDCRE KLUB NIGHT ROFLLMAO, locking everyone and setting fire to the place. Does this make me bad?
NB: I think the ‘Barry’s’ (as we used to call them) have migrated onto the Citroen Saxo VTS or Vauxhall Corsa these days.
Mike Empuria
February 26th, 2008 10:28 pm
If I were a horrible person I’d submit another comment because I can see Silky waking up tomorrow, seeing seven comments, and thinking that he’s hit pay dirt with this ad.
I’m not so I wont.
Ricky F
February 27th, 2008 3:56 am
The talent of these fellows is amazing, they can work a basic sound mixer, play records and make the vocals of songs really high-pitched. Amazing. Anyone wanting to play the guitar, forget it, you need to practice the record player, become a master and get with the high-class girls in this advert. you want inspiration? Go whack three cars at the same time and listen to the alarms go off, an instant hardcore ‘anthem’.
“You can’t get these tracks anywhere else” yeah like they never ever heard of limewire the place the probably got their ’samples’ from other songs.
By the way, the modern day kev drives the Vauxhall Corsa now.
Silky
February 27th, 2008 10:57 am
Wow! 8 comments already!?
Oh, I see. Wait till I get my hands on you Mike Empuria!!
@Ricky F - Thanks for the update about the Kevs/Barrys.
John
February 27th, 2008 1:32 pm
I’m not sure what’s worse, the utter mind numbingly crass ‘music’, the oh-co-classy looking orange lasses, or the corpulent fella called ‘Breeze’ (presumably short for breezeblock) at the start of the video!?!
Keith
February 27th, 2008 1:36 pm
Many years ago, I was interviewing someone for a job. On the application form under interests she had put “clubbing”. Trying to lighten the mood of the interview I asked her if she meant baby seals, but the humour was too sophisticated for her.
Jonny Chestwig
February 27th, 2008 5:32 pm
Wow, there are industrial amounts of curmudgeonry smeared across these comments. I love it!
Tractorboy
February 29th, 2008 4:23 am
Is it me or is this the recent STD warning advert just on Speed?
P.S I’ve meet Breeze and beleve me this ad does him no favours. He is actually quite a decent bloke.
eric shaun
March 14th, 2008 3:42 pm
what the fuck ?
this advert is a peice of shit!!!!
read on:)
sorry that was for slipknot i was watching the rong one
you are a bunch of cunts that walk about with poles shuved up ur arseholes you obvisly dont get out very often or your mummy says u cant go out and play haha ur just a bully victim of course
get ur self out try new things insted of wasteing space on the internet for unwanted causes
no one cares everyone is diffrent and likes to do there own thing wee dont need cunts like you criticizing our socity you have to get over the fact that everyone is diffrent and special in there own way
so i would advice you to get out or go fuck your self
thankyou for your waste of space time
Tractorboy
March 15th, 2008 3:45 am
And a very good day to you two sir!
qwidge
May 16th, 2008 2:53 pm
In my experience the modern day Kev/Barry/Ned/Chav drives a Citroes Saxo with black windows and this cd pumping out of them.
Horrifying!
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