Cadbury’s Flake - Joss Stone
March 10th, 2008Poor Joss Stone.
Once just a simple soul singing schoolgirl from Devon and the World’s Best Celebrity Dog Owner 2005 (apparently) now, thanks to a few ill advised comments at the 2007 Brits in an even more ill advised accent, the full tide of public hatred turned against her.
But even without a good song for what, must be a good 30 or 40 years, Joss is back in the public eye as the new Cadbury’s Flake Girl.
Joss Stone? Flake Girl? Really? The Joss Stone… etc etc.
To make matters worse, Joss claims that she decided to do an advert for Cadbury’s after having a dream about the chocolate manufacturer.
“It’s not a joke” she ensures us.
I think it is, Joss, but not a very funny one.
Well maybe her latest material wasn’t as good as her earlier stuff. Maybe she has got weird hair. Maybe she does sometimes dress like low class transvestite. Maybe she is too far up her own arse to make sensible decisions. Maybe she doesn’t give a flying fuck about any of that as she’s cashing in the giant chocolate cheque.
One thing she most definitely is not though, is a flake girl (not in the historical flake girl way):
“You don’t have to be dresses up the nines… [some incoherent babble] …to be a flake girl. All you’ve got to do is eat one!” Another corker from the video promo for an advert.
Well, you don’t only have to eat one. Flake does have a certain brand image and despite Cadbury’s trying to destroy in the past, it’s survived.
The image of unadulterated pleasure whilst allowing lizards to run over phones and baths to over flow has stuck pretty firmly in people’s minds. So let’s get rid of silly little Joss “It came to me in a dream” Stone and get some proper chocolate-erotica back on our screens.
(4.7)
14Responses:
b13
March 11th, 2008 1:58 pm
Saw this shocking ad this morning.
My first thought was “I have to email Silky at TWA”
My second was “this is fscking awful.”
Pete
March 11th, 2008 10:33 pm
No I’m sorry Flake adverts are ‘Hot girl fellating a chocolate bar’ this is not it.
There’s no wank potential at all here.
Wolfy
March 11th, 2008 11:32 pm
What a waste of time. I read about this ad in the paper yesterday and it was being talked about alongside The (Dairy Milk) Gorilla. You can’t even see the damn product properly!
CretinCrusher
March 13th, 2008 2:40 am
So, you want me to star in it, write the theme tune, sing the theme tune?
For once i think you’re surprisingly close, miss stone.
merkava
March 13th, 2008 8:20 pm
God I her voice is so irritating. It isn’t (and never will be) sexy to sing in exaggerated husky tones.
And is it just me or does she brush her top even though no chocolate has fallen on it? THAT annoys me too.
Sarah
March 17th, 2008 9:42 pm
Perhaps she will invest in some shoes with her Cadburys gravy train money. I always thought i hated Katie Melua the most but now Joss has raised her fake accented no shoe wearing head i have changed my mind.
John
March 18th, 2008 9:49 am
All the false ‘having a break between rehearsals at the recording studio’ clobber.
So annoying it makes me want to cook her alive in a giant cornish pasty full of razor blades.
Alan
March 25th, 2008 9:17 pm
The first time I saw the ad it took me a long time to realise it actually was an ad just thought it was a trailer for some music reallity show. Really poor come on folks the baggy grey top so beloved of advert woman is fine for dodgy stomachs, incontinence pads and various other things that go wrong with womens bits but this has always been about sensuality and frankly as a bloke I dont find baggy grey tops sensual ,sorry and all that but thats just the way it is.
Dave
March 26th, 2008 11:10 am
I suppose Cadburys paid her a fortune for this, well they’ve been well and truly had off, I’ve seen ads for drain cleaner sexier than this, sack the ad agency.
Jonny Chestwig
April 5th, 2008 8:18 am
What a loathesome creature, besides, everyone knows you get chocolate crumbs off your top by pinching a bit of it and moving your hands beackwards and forwards, not by touching it up with the back of your fingers. Tosser.
Jen
April 6th, 2008 9:56 am
MSN are now offering to sell the “jingle” as a mobile ringtone! MAKE IT STOP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!
Mr A Reaper Esq
May 29th, 2008 11:24 am
Thats one more tallntless cunt on my list…..she needs a box of flakes shoved up her arsehole….
Bex
June 13th, 2008 10:10 am
Eating chocolate before you sing is never to be advised. Especially Cadburies. It gets all suck on your teeth and throat. Therefore she is an idiot. Why are there no good modern female singers? I hate them all. And they’ve set a stereotype. Arghhhh!!!
Granny Farts
June 17th, 2008 10:44 am
Bad advert. Let me get something straight. I think its good to show these adverts for what they are, total bullshit. The reason why is becuase all the good adverts get flagged there for its just the annoying bullshit adverts that filter through. Take for example the funny tennents advert “shut up or i’ll murder you” it was taken of air because of some self righteous idiots got a bit offended. What can you do when the world is full of crap advert makers and Mary whitehouse’s.
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