BT – The Party
19 November 2007 by SilkyCan you imagine?
Hoards of drunken teenagers, rampaging through the streets, dragging their Addidas Classic clad heels and their hooded topped, er, heads over to your house intent on smashing up your gnomes, ripping up your daisies and wiping their pubescent backsides on your wedding dress.
It’s an apocalyptic scene, yes, but it’s one that strike fear into the very hearts of Daily Mail readers across the land.
Obviously it’s one that very rarely happens but, fuck it, it shifts newspapers.
Sadly, the mum from the current BT adverts (You know the updated version of the Goldblend couple. Now they’ve got kids but a modern twist; she’s divorced, he’s younger etc.) seems to have read the Mail and believed it to be based in fact. So much so she is racked with terror and paranoia when she rumbles her son Tom hosting the Worst House Party In The History Of House Parties Ever.
“What’s going on?” she asks with such a mix naivety, shock and accusation that you’d think she’s just caught Tom in a post coital embrace with his little sister as they wilfully delete the folders with all the pictures of themselves as babies.
I mean teenagers, what are they like?
Watching cartoons, drinking lemonade. Fucking hooligans!
What I mean to say is, how very sanitised this view of middle class life and adolescence in the year 2007 actually is.
You know, I’m reliably informed that in the original draft of the script the Mum is so ashamed of just how whet Tom is that she unlocks the drinks cabinet, forces a pint of Jack Daniels down his neck, phones one of her recently divorced friends who is desperate to get back in the saddle and give Tom a couple of “Mummy & Daddies Special Bedroom Party” pills.
But revision after revision became slightly more watered down until we got to this:
“Tom has 4 friends and opens a bottle of fizzy pop. It sprays on the carpet.”
Magical.
Do those marketing execs at BT not remember what being a teenager of middle class parents was actually like?
15Responses:
Phil
Said on the 20 November 2007
Simple words can’t describe how rubbish this advert is.
“Oh my good Lord no, he’s spilled some sparkling mineral water on the laminated floor boards!!!”
You’d better get that guy from “Love, Actually” to clean it up sharpish, so we can get back to the important business of wearing strange hats and mediocre dresses.
Incidentally, is the subplot of this advert meant to be that the odd couple are off to get hitched? I have no idea how else to explain their strange dress sense. If so, that lends a whole new, depressing angle. The son, depressed at the thought of his mum getting married again, decides to drown his sorrows in a debauched evening of…oh wait, crisps and football…dark.
Freud, anyone?
Dom
Said on the 26 November 2007
I think the look of horro on the face of the mother could be explained by her having unexpectedly walked into the youg man’s room on another occasion: also just at the point where sticky liquid gushed over his knuckles….
Sue
Said on the 29 November 2007
And where did she get that hideous dress?
Dom
Said on the 29 November 2007
You would though wouldn’t you…
Joe
Said on the 7 January 2008
I think they’re off to someone else’s wedding…
Either that or the kid is being an absolute fucking rebel and has decided to show up to his mother’s special day to go ape shit with his mates at home getting high off…oh, lemonade.
There’s a flaw in that plan somewhere I’m sure…
Joe
Said on the 7 January 2008
That’d be NOT show up to his mum’s wedding, sorry guys.
tigerstail
Said on the 21 January 2008
C’mon everyone knows she’s going to dump him for the Polish guy in the other ad!
Dirty minx.
Dave
Said on the 5 February 2008
The whole series of these BT adverts is a modern day fairytale and is total wank. Sad single gimp (obviously in well paid employment) meets not bad looking divorcee with two brats, she sees a meal ticket, turns a few tricks and bingo; the poor cunt is hooked and never has his hand out of his wallet. Is this the sort of senario that BT thinks will endear them to us? Non of it floats my boat, I’d like to see him take his wallet and piss off with a lap dancer before she delivers the coup de grace and is up the duff with his sprog so she can milk him for life.
Jellyfish McSaveloy
Said on the 5 February 2008
It’s a pretty lame middle of the road, middle class depcition of the mild problems faced by an admans fantasy of the ‘average’ family and it’s mediocre at best (apart from the haircut one – that was faintly amusing). She is quite tasty though. If he’s any sense, he’ll have a pre-nup sorted then when she’s gone a bit baggy, he can sod off safe in the knowledge his losses are limited and doink some office crumpet.
Not that I’d ever do such a despicaable thing or encourage anyone else to do it, obviously.
Spiritualized
Said on the 25 February 2008
Thank God I’m not the only one that thinks the mum is class act.
The adverts do make me want to eat glass with a spoon though, so I’m emotionally torn.
Jonny Chestwig
Said on the 25 February 2008
Alright the fact that we’d all smash her pie in is irreleavant. What irritates and confuses me is the ludicrously ‘washed out’ pallette adopted by the cinematographer for this ad. Is it supposed to make us think it’s more gritty and modern? I am genuinely baffled. Or is it some ploy to make us remember the ad because if so …… I suppose it works.
Pete
Said on the 14 October 2008
so Adam has accepted a new job and fucked off to the coast and the missus is pissed. So follows a heart to heart over the internet when suddenly the internet crashes at a crucial moment. Why its that pesky leftnet connection while the BT one is still working and Jane is left thinking Adam doesnt care.
Just use the phone or better still meet up and talk about it dont bother us with your self generated problems you cunts
Dom
Said on the 14 October 2008
Ah, come on be fair: insipid boggle-eyed cunts, please
Duncan Hill
Said on the 23 February 2009
I assume the adverts are targetted at the most affluent parts of Yuppie society? Adam seems to have a luxury harbour view flat in Cornwall, that almost no average person would be able to afford to rent or buy.
Silky
Said on the 24 February 2009
Yes, Duncan. Poor people in Britain aren’t allowed to have broadband.
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