Bold 2 in 1 – Infusions White Diamond and Lotus Flower

21 October 2008 by Silky

Why is this advert still on TV?

It’s bizarre mix of heady, aspirational guff combined with a completely mental claim that makes it just so very confused.

Make my clothes smell of “white diamonds and lotus flower”, you say? Oh no, I don’t think so.

After all, any self-respecting, social-climber is going to do themselves no favours at all by claiming they smell of “white diamonds”.

“Ooh, you smell nice. What is it?” – the concierge at the new spa you’ve just joined might ask.
“It’s the smell of luxury – white diamonds” – you’d reply.
“Our health club doesn’t want idiots like you as members. Get out!” – he’d be forced to tell you.

And research has shown that you can only make yourself sound cheaper if you claim that the scent your clothes are infused with is, in fact, “white diamonique“.

Ultimately the big problem for me is that, probably like most sane people, I’m at a complete loss as to what white diamonds smell like.

I’m guessing they smell of pretentious bullshit.

I could be wrong of course, because there was a while when, as a impoverished student, I used to smell of Diamond White on a fairly regular basis, and that’s definitely not the kind of odour that would go down too well in a swanky restaurant.

Anyways, whatever it actually smells of, here are a couple more fragrances that I hope Bold will let us infuse our clothes with:

White Elephant - The fragrance of a gift you wished you hadn’t received.
Jimmy White - The smell of World Championship failure.
White Supremacy - The stench of ignorance and hatred.

If you’ve got any more fragrances you wish you could infuse your clothes with, please feel free to add them below.

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Just How Bad is this Ad?

(20 votes, average: 3.85 out of 5)

10Responses:

Paul

Said on the 21 October 2008

White Wash – the fragrance that covers up the stench of wrong doing!
ali

Said on the 23 October 2008

afraid I haven’t got any funny suggestions, but I remember seeing a variation of this advert (possibly for lenor) claiming it had the scent of *black* diamond and lotus flower – thats surely coal, no?!
harry

Said on the 26 October 2008

From the website (http://www.bold2in1.com/en_UK/diamond_lotus.htm):

“Diamonds carry emotions throughout the world and from generation to generation. A symbol of elegance their facets mirror lotus petals on a crisp dawn. This purity inspired perfumers to create a clear, natural and timeless fragrance that you will experience after just one wash.”

Aaaaaaaaargh!! Who believes this bullshit? Seriously?
paula moore

Said on the 28 October 2008

my daughter is getting married soon and i love the dress please could you tell me where the model got it from xx
Silky

Said on the 28 October 2008

Yeah, no problems Paula.

I’ll give her a ring and let you know what she says.
piflover

Said on the 30 October 2008

Not to be confused with Bold Diamond White – infuse your clothes with the scent of cheap cider!
Frankly

Said on the 14 November 2008

I’ve been totally against this ad since it first came on TV. WTF do diamonds smell like.
Glad to see there’s soome more people who feel the same.
Meady Ochre

Said on the 22 March 2009

Erm, love we’re going to KFC not a movie premiere.
Clam

Said on the 8 August 2009

I remember being delighted when I googled “diamonds don’t smell” and the first result was someone’s blog complaining about this advert.
Surely claiming that your product smells like something that it is impossible to smell like contravenes advertising regulations.
CovertJellyfish

Said on the 14 December 2009

The only 2 in 1 I’ve ever experienced is when I fucked a schizophrenic…