Activia

10 April 2007 by Silky

I was thinking twice whether to blog this because it’s a bit *old hat* but they insist on still showing the damned adverts, so here it is.

Sometimes adverts are for stuff that you need, sometimes they are for stuff that you want and sometimes they are for stuff that no-one wants and they definitely don’t need. Activia from Danone falls into the last category.

Before I go any further I’ll hold my hands up here. I’m not a scientist. I’ve got a GSCE in it but that doesn’t make me a gastroenterologist. I’m fairly certain though that when it comes to discomfort downstairs, men and women aren’t that different. There have been studies that show we’ve got different brains (although the results aren’t as conclusive as some). Hormonal differences? I can dig that, Sister. But discomfort downstairs? I don’t think so, Homes.

So when I see the Activia advert that tells me that “digestive discomfort affects 56% of women” and that by eating “Bifidus ActiRegularisÂ®” (that’s the new name for “Bifidus Made-up-ium”…) at least once a day, I’m thinking “I know a cheaper way to solve that”.

Even though “82% of people with digestive discomfort said they felt better after eating ActiviaÂ®” I confident that I can beat it.

In fact I’m sure I’m not the first one to think up the solution, but here it is: farting. The advert should go:

“Digestive discomfort affects 56% of women. So for the love of God, do a fart!”.

I know from having spoken to, ooh, at least 5 women in my life that most women (at least 56.5% of them) live in a fantasy land in which they don’t actually have the ability to do farts. But women, cards on the table, you can do farts, can’t you? And I say go for it. It’s very, very satisfying and it relieves digestive discomfort 100% of the time or your money back.

Judge for yourself.

Just How Bad is this Ad?

20 Votes

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6Responses:

Chris

July 23rd, 2007 11:12 am

I just love the big boobs on the coloured Lady. Who is she?
marmite

July 25th, 2007 8:53 pm

what in hell’s name is ‘biffidus digestivum’???? And what kind of loon in the advertising company thought we’d all be foolish enough to fall for it? I imagine the conversation went something like this:

‘oh crap, we’ve been given another yogurt advert to do, and they want something ‘groundbreaking”
‘but there isn’t anything groundbreaking about it. It’s a yogurt.’
‘hmmm… could we claim it has…Ceramide R?’
‘no, L’Orieal have already bagged that one. What about, hmmm, Digestive… Digest….’
‘Digestivum? Yeah, that sounds Latin’
‘better put an extra word on to make it sound more plausible.’
‘Piffidus? Liffidus? Biffidus?’ How about Biffidus?’
‘Biffidus Digestivum. Great. That’s that one done. Let’s move on to Olay - they’re re-releasing their old moisturizer and they want a new name for it…
Tom Francis

April 25th, 2008 7:51 pm

Is it not massively insulting to mankind that these companies think they can fool people into buying their products by making up this ridiculous terminology? Bifidus Acti-regularis??? Come on. It is brilliant in its stupidity. Its not even subtly subliminal if they think putting the word “regular” amoungst the rest of the rubbish is going to give people something to relate to.

Dont even get me started on this new cosmetic product containing “fibro plastyl”. Have you ever heard of either of those words? If you have please tell me what they mean. A 2 year old with magnetic letters on a fridge could make more sense than this lot. If that works as a selling point then we need serious help.

Cant wait for the next one
Iain

June 7th, 2008 5:17 pm

There’s a website - http://www.bifidusactiregularis.com - which is trying to debunk the kind of claims that these adverts make. You can see it’s hocus pocus just from the fact that its name has changed from “bifidus digestivum” to “bifidus actiregularis” - and apparently it’s called bifidus regularis in the states, bifidus essensis in germany and austria, bifidobacterium lactis in canada etc. etc. etc…
Iain

July 9th, 2008 12:27 pm

Danone sued ‘em! Check out the new site name and a bit of info at the top of the page: http://www.bifidusanimalis.com/
Michael

July 10th, 2008 9:52 pm

Yet more stupid fucking women who’ve never heard of something called “shitting”.