Activia
10 April 2007 by SilkyI was thinking twice whether to blog this because it’s a bit *old hat* but they insist on still showing the damned adverts, so here it is.
Sometimes adverts are for stuff that you need, sometimes they are for stuff that you want and sometimes they are for stuff that no-one wants and they definitely don’t need. Activia from Danone falls into the last category.
Before I go any further I’ll hold my hands up here. I’m not a scientist. I’ve got a GSCE in it but that doesn’t make me a gastroenterologist. I’m fairly certain though that when it comes to discomfort downstairs, men and women aren’t that different. There have been studies that show we’ve got different brains (although the results aren’t as conclusive as some). Hormonal differences? I can dig that, Sister. But discomfort downstairs? I don’t think so, Homes.
So when I see the Activia advert that tells me that “digestive discomfort affects 56% of women” and that by eating “Bifidus ActiRegularis®” (that’s the new name for “Bifidus Made-up-ium”…) at least once a day, I’m thinking “I know a cheaper way to solve that”.
Even though “82% of people with digestive discomfort said they felt better after eating Activia®” I confident that I can beat it.
In fact I’m sure I’m not the first one to think up the solution, but here it is: farting. The advert should go:
“Digestive discomfort affects 56% of women. So for the love of God, do a fart!”.
I know from having spoken to, ooh, at least 5 women in my life that most women (at least 56.5% of them) live in a fantasy land in which they don’t actually have the ability to do farts. But women, cards on the table, you can do farts, can’t you? And I say go for it. It’s very, very satisfying and it relieves digestive discomfort 100% of the time or your money back.
Just How Bad is this Ad?
(28 votes, average: 3.54 out of 5)
28Responses:
Chris
Said on the 23 July 2007
I just love the big boobs on the coloured Lady. Who is she?
marmite
Said on the 25 July 2007
what in hell’s name is ‘biffidus digestivum’???? And what kind of loon in the advertising company thought we’d all be foolish enough to fall for it? I imagine the conversation went something like this:
‘oh crap, we’ve been given another yogurt advert to do, and they want something ‘groundbreaking”
‘but there isn’t anything groundbreaking about it. It’s a yogurt.’
‘hmmm… could we claim it has…Ceramide R?’
‘no, L’Orieal have already bagged that one. What about, hmmm, Digestive… Digest….’
‘Digestivum? Yeah, that sounds Latin’
‘better put an extra word on to make it sound more plausible.’
‘Piffidus? Liffidus? Biffidus?’ How about Biffidus?’
‘Biffidus Digestivum. Great. That’s that one done. Let’s move on to Olay – they’re re-releasing their old moisturizer and they want a new name for it…
Tom Francis
Said on the 25 April 2008
Is it not massively insulting to mankind that these companies think they can fool people into buying their products by making up this ridiculous terminology? Bifidus Acti-regularis??? Come on. It is brilliant in its stupidity. Its not even subtly subliminal if they think putting the word “regular” amoungst the rest of the rubbish is going to give people something to relate to.
Dont even get me started on this new cosmetic product containing “fibro plastyl”. Have you ever heard of either of those words? If you have please tell me what they mean. A 2 year old with magnetic letters on a fridge could make more sense than this lot. If that works as a selling point then we need serious help.
Cant wait for the next one
Iain
Said on the 7 June 2008
There’s a website – http://www.bifidusactiregularis.com – which is trying to debunk the kind of claims that these adverts make. You can see it’s hocus pocus just from the fact that its name has changed from “bifidus digestivum” to “bifidus actiregularis” – and apparently it’s called bifidus regularis in the states, bifidus essensis in germany and austria, bifidobacterium lactis in canada etc. etc. etc…
Iain
Said on the 9 July 2008
Danone sued ‘em! Check out the new site name and a bit of info at the top of the page: http://www.bifidusanimalis.com/
Michael
Said on the 10 July 2008
Yet more stupid fucking women who’ve never heard of something called “shitting”.
The Boy Of Steel
Said on the 28 April 2009
Haha I hate these constipated sluts
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 28 May 2009
I am really getting sick of hearing the word “bloated” every ad break. These adverts are just annoying me.
Try Activia for 14 days?
Oh yeah sure! I’ll just go and buy 14 pots, 3 x 6 packs or 4 x 4 packs! IDIOTS! You can’t even buy 14. No one would be stupid enough to buy 14 single pots!
So, apparently a 4 pack of this yoghurt from Tesco costs £1.53 (doing a search on Google, might be more). Therefore, if I wanted to “try” Activia for 14 days, I’d have to spend over £6 on fucking yoghurt! Way to go, Danone.
Also, what the fuck is Bifidus Actiregularis?! Stop making up scientifc gibberish!
Phill
Said on the 28 July 2009
Haha, I literally put in Google “what the fuck is bifidus actiregularis” and was brought straight to this site.
Christ, do people actually read or hear that and think “crikey, its got bifidus stuff, it must be good!”.
Its a bit like Barry Scott….. who are you, why should I know you.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 14 October 2009
On a side note, Actimel have just had an Ad. pulled…
http://news.uk.msn.com/uk/article.aspx?cp-documentid=150207153&ocid=today
Not that the two are related…
Hmmm… Danone…
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 14 October 2009
Now just ban the stupid Activia ads. I’m fucking sick of hearing some stupid bitch complaining about feeling bloated. Must you shove this shit in my face every 15 fucking minutes, Danone?!
Improves digestive transit within 14 days? Do they really expect us to eat Yoghurt for the next 2 fucking weeks?!
Daniel Newton
Said on the 15 October 2009
I wish they would ban ALL activia ads, im fed up of hearing that stupid cunt saying “Note to self; must take advice from decidedly more confident friend and try activia” ARGGHHH just piss off, really makes me want to gouge out my own eyes with a wooden spoon every-time she says that
R E Krishna
Said on the 16 October 2009
I’ve given this advertisement a lot of thought and have 2 observations to make.
1: Those who need to improve their digestive transit should take a quadruple dose of pretty much any
laxative product. I think I can guarantee results in somewhat less than 14 days.
2: The product name Activia is unsuitable for yoghourt. It would much better suit an Insurance
Company wishing to re-brand and upset its customer base, especially if used alogside some kind
of catchy war-cry. Something like “Latrine Barmy!!!!!”……..That could work………couldn’t it?
Ad Hater 2.0
Said on the 16 November 2009
Guy: “That’s my favourite flavour!”
Women: “Oooooooh!”
Everytime I hear that, I just want to punch that twat and each and every one of those bitches in the fucking face!
Daniel Newton
Said on the 16 November 2009
I think it’s safe to say that all Activia adverts are utter rubbish! And imply that women do nothing more than sit around all day talking to each other about felling “bloated” and “feeling like a balloon bellied recluse”
I simply hate these adverts with a passion after the “Note to self; must take advice from decidedly more confident friend and try Activia” was shoved in my face every 10mins for the last god knows how many months, I mean what a truly god awful that advert was, who the hell dreams these things up and why on earth do these so called ‘actresses’ want to participate?
Ad Hater 2.0
Said on the 28 December 2009
Tummy Loving Care?! Fuck off you cunts!!
Ad Hater 2.0
Said on the 10 January 2010
For fuck sake, Activia! Stop shoving this TLC shit in my face every 10 FUCKING MINUTES!! I saw this in TWO ad breaks in a row on Channel 4 today and I’m so fucking sick of that woman!
Daniel Newton
Said on the 12 January 2010
Im utterly fed up of hearing about 2010 being the year of TLC… every time I see this I have to shout “FUCK OFF” at the telly!
Year of TLC you say? so by eating one pot of activia I’m going to be healthy am I? think again activia or infact please dont bother; all of your previous adverts have been utterly sickning and so is this new TLC thing… take the hint, take your pots of shite and FUCK OFF!
Honestly after they showed ‘note to self must take advice from decidedly more confident friend and try activia’ for 3 months in my face EVERY SINGE SET OF ADVERTS I have been purposely knocking these off shelves at supermarkets!
Oh and by the way activia wasent one of your adverts banned? what was the reason again…. oh yes becouse THERE IS NO SIENTIFIC PROOF THAT THESE WORK!
Leon
Said on the 12 January 2010
Yeah, I hate the old man speaking supposedly as the gut personified going “same time tomorrow, then?” sounds fucking ridiculous
and the whole thing is enormously insulting to anyone with a mind of their own
Daniel Newton
Said on the 16 January 2010
What is it with Activa’s amazing ability to produce the most annoying monotonous adverts ever!
The first time I saw this advert was two weeks ago; I’m already absolutely sick of the sight of that patronizing woman already, banging on about how much Activa helps with your “natural digestive transit” – Heres an Idea, instead of wasting £7 per week on this rubbish; why not just go to your toilet and have a shit? – rather crude I know, but unlike these adverts its straight to the point!
I thought Activia would get the message after their advert was finally banned a few months ago by the ASA for making false claims. – yet there back again with this utter drivel making the same false claims
Mike
Said on the 13 February 2010
Very good everyone. This sudo-scientific stuff is really outrageous. The fact is that a large proportion of our fellow members of the human race actually believe this bunk. I used to feel sorry for them, being conned like that. But now, well, if they are stupid enough to believe all that garbage, let them waste their money. A fool and his money are soon parted, so it is said. Lets face it they deserve to lose their money, and lose it they most certainly will.
Tummy Loving Bollocks
Said on the 1 March 2010
How many times must I endure this patronising woman banging on about a fucking yoghurt? yes that’s right Activia its a fucking yoghurt! and as far as I’m aware 2010 is NOT the year of ‘Tummy Loving Care’ so fuck off please and stop shoving this monotonous patronising drivel in my face constantly.
Paul
Said on the 2 March 2010
Why is Martine McCutcheon (sp?) still famous? She left ‘Enders years ago. I still would, mind…
AJXX
Said on the 29 March 2010
Er Fucking Hell… Yet another advert for these cunts has just popped up featuring that stupid woman.
Please just go away! its a fucking yoghurt… why must I see it shoved in my face constantly?
weemummy
Said on the 13 May 2010
aaaaaaarrrrghhhh!!!!! Why do I HAVE to suffer that stupid, too happy, face making, disgustingly chirpy cunt of a martine in EVERY ad break??? Now she’s sitting in a chair that looks like an egg and bangs on about her personal favorite, peaches and cream, nearly sliding off the seat, leaving a trail of slime!!!! God I want to pin her down and scream in her face!!
Joe
Said on the 14 July 2010
I hate these commercials, and I’ve never paid enough attention to even figure out what their even trying to sell. All I know is they use made up words and I see these ads way too much. I typed “what the fuck is so great about activia” into Google and it brought me to this site. Turns out, not much…
Iain
Said on the 19 July 2010
The website I mentioned above disappeared for a while, but is now back at http://whatisbifidusregularis.org/ Apparently they got sued by Danone for trademark infringement…
Tim Toaster
Said on the 21 July 2010
What bloody crap ads Danone do. Every time one shows up on my TV I feel like going out for a kabab with lashings of chilli sauce. That soon sorts my digestive system out. As for that dopey bint Martine, she is nothing more than a walking set of cheek bones.
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