Sometimes people get ideas of grandeur.

Like when I assumed TV’s Worst Adverts would be on the world’s 50 most powerful blogs. Amazingly, it was not.

Or when “no win no fee” lawyers claim that they are giving every day Joe’s like you and me access to “justice”:

I know that this advert has been through the ASA and the complaints were not upheld but I hate everything about this advert.

Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

From Esther Rantzon undoing all the good she might have done over the past 150 years campaigning for consumer rights to the very misleading name - “Accident Advice Helpline” - which, to me, implies a independent, impartial Citizens Advice Bureau organization (with free phone number) not a “no win no fee” (I don’t want to say “Ambulance Chaser” but…) compensation culture law firm.

I hate the Jerry Springer style format and the standard set of trashy audience members (always made up of students, housewives, the unemployed, the feckless… etc etc). I hate stupid Susan who tripped over an “uneven” pavement hurt her knee and got just shy of 10 grand compensation (from the council, was it?).

Now I don’t know the details of Susan’s case but I have a sure fire way to avoid tripping over when in a public place: look where you’re going. What’s more, I use the same technique to avoid banging my head against lumpy buildings and to avoid stepping in squidgy dog shits. 3 for the price of one there, Susan.

But what I hate most is the excruciatingly pompous use of the word “justice” in the advert.

On the Accident Advice Helpline web site Esther states:

“I have met many people who have been denied justice - innocent people whose lives have been wrecked by an accident which was not their fault - and have faced hardship, unemployment or disability as a result. The law states that if you’ve been hurt, and someone else was negligent and is to blame, you should be compensated. Everyone should have access to justice,”

Oh just get over yourself, Esther. You’re hardly Mahatma Fucking Ghandi though are you, Esther? You’re not campaigning for the justice of a nation of people. Nor are you Martin Luther King fighting for the justice of an entire race of people.

You’re campaigning to get some cash for people who fall over in public.

Simple. As. That.

I should point out that I’m not saying people shouldn’t claim for being the victim of accidents. There are undoubtedly cases when making claims are more than legitimate - you know like if you trip over a grape - but it’s a bit over the top to call it justice.