Accident Advice Helpline – Esther Rantzen
11 March 2008 by SilkySometimes people get ideas of grandeur.
Like when I assumed TV’s Worst Adverts would be on the world’s 50 most powerful blogs. Amazingly, it was not.
Or when “no win no fee” lawyers claim that they are giving every day Joe’s like you and me access to “justice”:
I know that this advert has been through the ASA and the complaints were not upheld but I hate everything about this advert.
Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.
From Esther Rantzon undoing all the good she might have done over the past 150 years campaigning for consumer rights to the very misleading name – “Accident Advice Helpline” – which, to me, implies a independent, impartial Citizens Advice Bureau organization (with free phone number) not a “no win no fee” (I don’t want to say “Ambulance Chaser” but…) compensation culture law firm.
I hate the Jerry Springer style format and the standard set of trashy audience members (always made up of students, housewives, the unemployed, the feckless… etc etc). I hate stupid Susan who tripped over an “uneven” pavement hurt her knee and got just shy of 10 grand compensation (from the council, was it?).
Now I don’t know the details of Susan’s case but I have a sure fire way to avoid tripping over when in a public place: look where you’re going. What’s more, I use the same technique to avoid banging my head against lumpy buildings and to avoid stepping in squidgy dog shits. 3 for the price of one there, Susan.
But what I hate most is the excruciatingly pompous use of the word “justice” in the advert.
On the Accident Advice Helpline web site Esther states:
“I have met many people who have been denied justice – innocent people whose lives have been wrecked by an accident which was not their fault – and have faced hardship, unemployment or disability as a result. The law states that if you’ve been hurt, and someone else was negligent and is to blame, you should be compensated. Everyone should have access to justice,”
Oh just get over yourself, Esther. You’re hardly Mahatma Fucking Ghandi though are you, Esther? You’re not campaigning for the justice of a nation of people. Nor are you Martin Luther King fighting for the justice of an entire race of people.
You’re campaigning to get some cash for people who fall over in public.
Simple. As. That.
I should point out that I’m not saying people shouldn’t claim for being the victim of accidents. There are undoubtedly cases when making claims are more than legitimate – you know like if you trip over a grape – but it’s a bit over the top to call it justice.


(41 votes, average: 4.49 out of 5)




30Responses:
BB
Said on the 11 March 2008
I’d just like to add to the generic shiteness of this ad by pointing out that it was filmed on such a low budget that they couldn’t afford re-takes. On the most commonly seen TV version (not the Youtube one here), Esther completely duffs a line while she’s talking to ‘Susan’, but they carry on and finish the advert anyway.
Good choice – I was verging on emailing you this one…
PaddyB
Said on the 12 March 2008
What gets me is the guy who had half a ton of metal fall on him and “immediately called the Accident Advice Helpline” – if it were me I’d start out by shouting “Oww! Get me a sodding ambulence would you”.
Dave
Said on the 12 March 2008
Yup hate this one, cheap ambulance chasing crap, things must be dodgy in the purse department for Esther to get involved with this sort of racket, I agree with Paddy some of the cunts featured have got their mobiles out before they hit the deck, the same twats will wonder why their council tax bills are so high. Look in the mirror you greedy cunts.
Jonny Chestwig
Said on the 12 March 2008
Agreed Dave, what about some ‘Justice’ for people who now have to risk assess climbing a stepladder at work, or people that can’t get insurance for anything because of these greedy twats.
ivor cockaday
Said on the 9 May 2008
how does satan’s scaly cock taste, esther?
(c)b. hicks
Greg
Said on the 17 January 2009
Are those people in the audience real? They don’t move! And as for Steve, well, golden globe from him. You can tell he’s talking bollocks when he does the “I don’t want to do this” nose rubbing when he says “I called them immediately”.
The trouble is, Esther has that sort of “Trust me, I’m a doctor” type voice, that’s so convincing, if you’re thick.
Joshua
Said on the 13 February 2009
“A load of metal fell on me”
That was a bit vague…
Simon Breadbin
Said on the 24 March 2009
I don’t recall seeing this ad the first time round, but I did see it the other day. It has either been re-scripted on the cheap, or whoever was in charge at whatever channel I was watching was pissed. It made the dubbing on all those creepy foreign bog-product adverts look as smooth as a smoothie served by some smarmy bloke.
Daniel Newton
Said on the 29 May 2009
This advert really annoyes me becouse its so old! I mean I can remember seeing this years ago (arround 2003 in fact!) and even then it looked like a cheap 60′s style chat show.
Please get a better advertising department! or stop repeating old ads thinking knowone would notice!
Guess what? the accident advice helpline has started showing that horrid advert from years ago again remember “i fell over and seriosly injured my fringe” WHY WHY WHY?
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 3 June 2009
I have never seen this advert on TV, I must be lucky. Now, having just watched the YouTube video I’m so glad I don’t see this ad at all. What struck me most about that ad is that it is presented as if it’s one of those fucking awful day time chat shows (Trisha, Jeremy Kyle, etc.)
All accident adverts are awful and I just happened to see that terrible National Accident Helpline ad yet again. The one with the guy falling off the ladder, whoever gave him that ladder should be fired! Why has that crap returned?
Also, this Accident Advice Helpline ad goes on for a fucking minute! Most accident ads I see last about 30 seconds and they also don’t have the nerve to state the obvious by slapping the word “Advertisement” on to the bottom of the screen.
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 3 June 2009
They had to put “advertisment” across the bottom, just in case the high production values and a headline star confused you. It’s the same reason that there are instructions on a box of dental floss. Somedays I just wish the bombs would fall, and the cockroaches get their chance…
Vote Rantzen! « The Bleeding Heart Show
Said on the 28 July 2009
[...] Vote Rantzen! 2009 July 28 by Neil Because the woman behind this… [...]
Daniel Newton
Said on the 15 September 2009
After coming in from work and switching my telly on i could not beleive that i saw this advert again, allmost 2 years after they showed it its still on ARGHGHH!!
It looks like a 20p job too, i mean it just looks so old
Plus i hate her ” All my life i have been campaining for fair compensation” no love more like “all my life i have been helping anyone i can find claim compo for anything i dream up”
PLEASE GET THIS UTTER WET SHITE OFF MY TELLY!!!!!!
Sarah
Said on the 23 September 2009
Has anyone watched the program Lie To Me, It shows how the natural actions we do, show thru body language as to what we’re really thinking, If you notice when Esther asks Steve how Accident helpline helped him, he started his response by using the middle finger of his left hand.
Now if Lie to Me, is the truth, he wasn’t impressed by his first reaction with Accident Helpline. lol.
ps, Does anyone know the surname of this Steve, I know him, but bejiggered if i know where from.
Another Ad Hater
Said on the 23 September 2009
Oh fucking hell! I was just flicking through all the channels on my Freeview and then when I got to ITV2+1, I saw this shit excuse for an accident helpline ad on that channel. If this is really from 2003 then they really need to FUCKING UPDATE this crap now! Seriously, is this company so low on cash that they have to use the same ad from 6 fucking years ago?!
Paul Shaw
Said on the 7 October 2009
A load of metal fell on me, I immediately phoned accident advice helpline, perhaps phoning an ambulance would have been your best bet you money chasing scrounging tosser.
Jono.bl
Said on the 8 October 2009
Say what you like but I notice that you have an advert for the same company at the top of your page.
Silky
Said on the 8 October 2009
Yeah I know, Jono.bl, aren’t I the cunt?
Daniel Newton
Said on the 8 October 2009
Has this site closed down now?
The last post was 28 July 2009 (Wank Bingo) come on there have been 100’s of crap adverts since then that are going unappreciated….
CovertJellyfish
Said on the 8 October 2009
Oh? You’re back are you Silky? Look what happens when you leave the playground unattended…
Seriously though, welcome back, please post more ads for us to rage about…
Tom Lovecock
Said on the 30 November 2009
the guy with the spikey blonde hair and pink tie looks so gay in the back row.
accident claims
Said on the 12 January 2010
Makes you wonder why these people get involved in advertising for such things (asides from the massive chunk of cash that is) Not surprising that old Esther feautured in BBC3′s list of most annoying people of 2009.
My vote for next year will be for Dale Winton after just seeing that unbelievable crap “Cash My Gold” advert. Why Oh Why!!!!!!!!!
Sweeney Todd
Said on the 15 January 2010
A woman walks into a building, does not watch where she is going and slips on a wet floor……
1) Try buying sensible non slip soles !
2) Buy a mirror and take a look at your fringe woman….. there’s an even worse disaster, you should sue your hairdresser
Ad Hater 2.0
Said on the 1 March 2010
What the fuck? This shitty ad is STILL ON?! If this ad is really from 2003 then why are we still seeing an advert from SEVEN FUCKING YEARS AGO?!
Daniel Newton
Said on the 2 March 2010
Arghh!! Please Esther get back into your coffin and get the fuck off my telly.
This advert is SOOO OLD, 7 Fucking Years to be precise yet their starting to show it CONSTANTLY, anyone who uses Accident Advice Helpline after seeing this pile of shite should be shot.
I also notice that Billy Murry is back with a New ad for Injury Lawyers 4 U, making such statements as “Where real lawyers” – well your not going to be pretend are you? and “we work for you” – who else do you work for? and such delights as “where 100% real Lawyers” – Hmm and I though they where 99% full of shit!
Also I see “I was installing a fire alarm and I was given the wrong type of ladder I should have never climbed up in the first place since I Knew it was “the wrong type of ladder” (is their such a thing?) yet I claimed £7,000 compo hehehe I’m so smug….. Is back again! not to mention his friend with the incredibly stupid fringe (Fat Bastard) takes a fall walking to the canteen with her exploding handbag of fucking rubbish – Who would use a company with such horrific adverts, they should be banned and fined £7,000 (Without having to go to court!) for every single time this advert was shown over the last 40 years
Paul
Said on the 2 March 2010
Ha ha – funny to see that both National Accident Helpline and Esther’s own Accident Advice are actually advertising on this page.
This shows that a) They have a sense of humour, b) They don’t get it, and c) This website doesn’t give a shit and just want’s the money.
Genius! I wonder how many clicks they’ll get?
Potty Rottie
Said on the 26 March 2010
Esther Rantzen, Michael Parkinson, all these celebrities with these accident insurance. All get on my bloody nerves, and what about Billy Murray in Injurylawyers4u ( played Johnny Allen in EastEnders ). ” They’re REAL lawyers “. What’s that supposed to mean ? You’re better off with an unreal lawyer because the law is an arse !!! Get a toy lawyer stuck together with sticky tape !!! Billy Murray in that ad gets on my bloody nerves !!!
Supermarkets also should not employ celebrities as in Morrissons. Surely employing these greedy idiots adds to the price of the goods.
simla
Said on the 30 June 2010
LOL…you have no idea how much money AAH makes. but to be honest the people who have slips and trips dont get hardly anything the real money is in RTA’s ‘Road traffic accidents’ thats where these companys make the REAL money i.e hire cars etc etc etc..but on the ad front its the worst one out off them all lol
X
Said on the 22 July 2010
Hahahahahhahahaaa I actually work for accident advise helpline!! But I agree with every comment on this page lol!! Carry on peeps!!
XXX
Said on the 22 July 2010
LOL… I also work for accident advise!!! hahahahahahahaha love the comments!
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